Morning 'Pubski. I'm in a weird headspace. I have a plan for the next couple months, an outline of how I want the next couple years to go and, dare I say it, a little hope that I can accomplish those things that I want to do. There are definitely still bad-brain days, but they are fewer, or at least farther between. Something, if it's counseling or working out more regularly, or something I can't put my finger on, is having a positive effect. That should be a good and positive thing to say, but it feels like there's an emptiness where lots of animosity once was. The fact that said animosity was almost entirely directed at myself has little to no bearing on how I feel about the resulting apathy. Maybe I've mentioned this before, but as I gain more discipline (I think I am anyway) and meditate more, I become more tangibly aware of the disconnect between 'Things I want/need/should do' and 'Things my body wants to do.' I can feel the horse buck and pull as the rider applies the reins. I'm not sure how typical/atypical this is, but meditation in general puts me in better connection with all of me, good and bad, primal and 'sophisticated.' Maybe it's just late-winter getting to me. Counseling appointment tonight, first one in several weeks. I'm glad I decided to space them out, rather than stop all together. Also blackbootz I think I figured out a half-decent form for my kettlebell swings. Starting with one hand and alternating between sets is somehow easier than using both, at least for me.
I wonder what the effect on you would be if you were to take up mentoring. Have you said that you have mentored before? I remember someone saying that they joined a Big Brother Big Sister club, but I don't remember who. I find that the act of mentoring is not only beneficial to the mentee, but to the mentor as well. And not just in a spiritual sense, though there's that and it's often sufficient. But imparting a life's lessons is the process of reflecting, collecting, and distilling, and it often leads to a more matured understanding of obstacles and blockages that plague us today. And you're doing one-handed kb swings? That sounds tough, I've no experience with it. But after doing a long session of swings, I find that squatting makes me feel super tingly. That's as sophisticated as I can make it sound.
I've never been in a formalized mentor/mentee role, but I am the oldest of five boys and there is a certain amount of pragmatism that I've tried to impress upon my younger brothers. Truthfully I don't think of myself as a good teacher. I have this tendency to just make people feel stupid. I like to think I'm a different person than the guy who wrote that, but I can't be THAT different. Also the one handed swing isn't that tough. My 'bell is only 10lbs.
You're very welcome! I wish I could remember where I heard it the first time. But I find it very accurate to describe my attitude towards exercise. To quote Stranger in a Strange Land (Because I don't do that enough) My earliest training taught me that physical exertion, especially exertion that caused me to sweat or raise my heart rate and blood pressure was to be avoided by any and all means necessary. To intentionally, independently and regularly exercise I am fighting a decade and a half of 'Don't exert yourself!' and a half-decade of sneering at 'gym rats.'"It is almost impossible to shake off one's earliest training. Duke, can you get it through your skull that if you had been brought up by Martians, you would have the same attitude toward eating and being eaten that Mike has?"