I think your pathway to learning is exactly what you need to build the discipline to do what goobster suggests. As you're learning, this is a lot harder than "point a camera at myself having fun." But I think you have an eye for it and I think you're improving. Keep it up.
Thank you! It's been fun and I'm finding myself liking it a lot. Wishing for some better tools (hardware and software both) and better guidance all the time. As much as my entrepreneurial self does not want to admit it, some kind of internship at a legit production company where I can steal all their knowledge would be awesome right now :)
Truth: a "legit production company" will mostly teach you how to work with a bigger crew. There are people who could teach you a thing or two, but they're shooters or mixers on The Amazing Race, and I know those guys, and I wouldn't want to be them, and neither would you.