I've been frustrated with school for a long time now. It's an investment for a future which isn't 100% guaranteed to be remotely related to my studies. The biggest mistake I've made was not taking the opportunity or initiative to take a gap year. I'm lucky enough to be on a track to graduate without loans/debt, and could well likely pick up where I left off financially when/if I decide to come back to it all. Lord knows I want to steer clear of living back home with parents. I've been holding out from taking action since, unfortunately, I don't have any insight into what I'd have to do once I'm out of academia. The only people I really discuss this with in the end are family, which in retrospect is pretty circular when it comes back to them convincing/encouraging me to "stick it out because you can" with regard to finances, leading me back to the same frustration after a moon's turn. In another way, it's like they're calling a bluff knowing I don't have control over even my own savings account. I guess it comes down to knowing the comfort of my current situation versus who knows. Boiling it down, a break from the bureaucratic, repetitive shithole that school(s) can be is all I'm looking for. I know enough to know that there's so much to gain from formal education an all, I'd just like to get out there and DO something in the world aside from rote theory, internships, and all the rest culminating to what feels like some sort of zero sum game. I feel like I am gaining nothing of personal value hanging around, just grinding my face to stone for 3 years running.
If there's any question, I guess it'd be for your advice or thoughts. On the other hand, maybe I just needed to rant and that's it, who knows. Thanks for reading.
Holy senioritis, batman. So your lack of a better plan means that you know that finishing is the good plan, you just don't enjoy it. That's good, that's empowering. That means that agency can be reclaimed simply: figure out how to enjoy school for another year. It also sounds as if you're feeling the tug of apron strings. Have a polite sit-down with your folx and mention that you're going to stay the course, but that you are feeling helpless and overly sheltered and you want some more autonomy because it will make school feel more like an adult occupation than a childish obligation. See what they'll give you. You're effectively asking for more responsibility and if you've earned it, you'll get it. Stay on target, Red Leader. All you need to do is get back into the groove. Trust me on this.
Going to take a crack at this with OB's approach. As for the sit down, just as do-able. I really appreciate the help, because this Glad I forced myself to post. I'll be sure to bring it full circle with a later update along with paying it forward. Thanks, KB. figure out how to enjoy school for another year.
it will make school feel more like an adult occupation than a childish obligation.
couldn't feel more true.
Great advice KB. I have nothing to add to this, other than the complement.
I started undergrad as a pre-med, like probably 40% of the kids I ended up graduating with. Then I changed to Anthropology. Then I had an existential crisis. Then I started taking classes I found kinda interesting and forced the University to find a degree that fit my credits. Now I work in a field that's maybe tangentially related to what I ended up studying. Your Mileage May Vary, but contrary to the messages our generation has been receiving since pre-k, college is not everything. You are not your degree, you are far far more than that. You are not what your parents want you to be. KB gives good advice. Enjoy whatever remains of your undergrad if you can, while simultaneously trying to milk it for every professional advantage possible.
Thanks for your input, OB. It's nice to know on some level I'm not an isolated incident. Right after posting, I went back for another round of looking at alternative degrees. I like the sound of this approach much more, and probably going to tackle the problem from this angle. I really appreciate it.Then I started taking classes I found kinda interesting and forced the University to find a degree that fit my credits.
After going in for an appointment, it sounds as though I may well be able to graduate faster as an IDS (meaning I'm nearly done, with credits that I care about which actually count in the major like my 4 physics classes) and I'll be able to peacefully transition into Physical Sciences/Computational Sciences Areas of Study (similar to a slash from New College, my brothers' alma mater - see Joint AoC at bottom of page) with a built in History minor. Thanks for bringing this back into my scope of awareness. Scheduling another appointment to make a formal switch. Hawt-diggity-dog!
I'm currently studying Digital Media with a minor in CompSci and one in History. Digital Media seemed like a solid step down from software engineering upon transferring schools, when I finally learned that degrees are just words on papers. The whole problem-solving mentality was thrown completely out the window in this department, which has left me in a fuzz now that aesthetics are the emphasis rather than functionality/practicality. Re: extra-curriculars, I was just elected to Treasurer for a mental health advocacy club alongside frequent volunteering for a local workshop. I figured with the club, I'm just as easily replaced if going through the hoops to take time off from schooling.
The second part is somewhat true and somewhat not. Technically, cash is only "words on papers", but there's a pretty solid, agreed-upon value on those words. There isn't quite the same level of consensus when it comes to diplomas, but there is still some insofar as a particular kind of diploma will make it easier to find particular kinds of work. I digress, though... Okay, so, coupled with the previous bit, it sounds like maybe you miss the emphasis on functionality/practicality of Software Engineering? If so, maybe try to take courses that are more geared towards functional problem-solving. Maybe the Digital Media program has some UX courses that you'd find interesting? In any case, it might make sense to go through the course listings and see if there's anything that would actually be exciting for you to take. Also, does your program allow for any sort of individual research project for seniors? If so, it might be worth thinking about pursuing that, since that will likely let you focus on something that's actually interesting to you. Mental health advocacy is awesome! I asked about extra-curriculars because they're a good way of finding rewarding things to do at school. Do you find your role at the club rewarding? If not, is there anything that you (or others) could do to make it more so? Digital Media seemed like a solid step down from software engineering upon transferring schools, when I finally learned that degrees are just words on papers.
The whole problem-solving mentality was thrown completely out the window in this department, which has left me in a fuzz now that aesthetics are the emphasis rather than functionality/practicality.
That's an accurate jab at it. I went through an engineering magnet program in HS which has geared me to think more in that mindset. Unfortunately, the program I'm in was fashioned only a couple years ago as a feeder to the #1/2 Game Design masters in the nation. So far, it's relatively strict with the courses to fulfill the major. As such, I decided to go with a CompSci minor in order to supplement just as you suggested. I'm looking forward to some logic courses for sure. Funny enough, when I was taking basic electrical engineering at Miami, I had a lot of fun applying what I learned to redstone in Minecraft. :D I have yet to see, albeit it's exposed me to major coordinators in the area for providers and problems in the area. For that alone, I'm grateful. Volunteering at the luncheon with Glenn Close came as a referral from a friend in the club: potential job hook-up!Okay, so, coupled with the previous bit, it sounds like maybe you miss the emphasis on functionality/practicality of Software Engineering?
If so, maybe try to take courses that are more geared towards functional problem-solving. Maybe the Digital Media program has some UX courses that you'd find interesting? In any case, it might make sense to go through the course listings and see if there's anything that would actually be exciting for you to take.
Do you find your role at the club rewarding? If not, is there anything that you (or others) could do to make it more so?