Life is too short, I stand by my position. It's the stance I'd take but I'm sure it's not for everyone. Some people thrive on tension, uncertainty and drama.
That's never what happens when someone enters the uncertainty zone in a relationship. I don't have it in me to go deep enough right now, so here's the shortened version: People need people. Not "love to have" - need, 'cause we're social creatures like that. When you find someone who fulfills that need in a way you see fit - whether it's "stay one night every week" or "live with me" or anything else - it's very difficult to let go of such a person. There's a reason love is mystified into something much bigger than it is in many cultures. Some people need love more than others - possibly because they haven't been given enough as children - so they're willing to tolerate (not "thrive on") uncertainty if it means that there is hope for the other person to stay and love them. So, your saying "Dump her" just says "Leave the person you think you want to be with". Pragmatically, good advice, very straightforward, but it does nothing to address the underlying cause of such tension.Some people thrive on tension, uncertainty and drama.
Some would argue that if your love for someone is inherently tied up in the fulfilment you derive from that person, then it is not really love at all. That need and love for someone cannot coexist.People need people. Not "love to have" - need, 'cause we're social creatures like that. When you find someone who fulfills that need in a way you see fit - whether it's "stay one night every week" or "live with me" or anything else - it's very difficult to let go of such a person.
I'm glad that I'm not here to teach people about the absurd distortions of the quest for happiness that some peoples relationships become, because I'd have a hefty bit of writing to do right now. Suffice to say that "never" is a poor word choice or you need to have a few more terrible relationships.
Also, I'm just worried that if I am in right or wrong hands. she and one of her guy friends (she told me he is like a big brother to her) exchange sexts .... like he said "I wanna FU some biches" and she replies "get creative .. come on my tts" ... This was the first time I snooped on her less than a year ago and confronted her ... she said it's a joke that I don't understand.... really? friends talk like that? particularly someone like a brother she told me.....
Dude. Go away from her. She's not good for you. But also - get to trust people you care about, or don't care about them. You can't live with someone who you know might - or, god forbid, is - cheating on you. It's no good being with someone whom you can't be comfortable with.