When I was 23 years old I went to the Blind Pig in Ann Arbor to see a band play. I was donning a maize and blue Michigan shirt, as one does when they're from Ann Arbor. It happened that it was the day of MI vs. OSU in Ann Arbor.
As I was leaving the venue, talking with the band that had played, I heard someone yell out, "hey asshole!" I turned to look who was yelling and who they thought was an "asshole." -Turned out, I was the appointed asshole. As I turned around I was met by a right handed punch directly to my nose.
I rose moments later to see a guy dressed all in red, sprinting towards, and jumping in to a car.
Five hours later, when the doctor finally saw me, he let me know that my nose had already began to re-harden and therefore I would have to wait two weeks to come back in and have them re-break it again and set it.
An Ohio State fan broke my nose twice.
I will never know who the asshole that sucker punched me was. I will never be able to repay him with a similarly unkind offense. But, I can take schadenfreud every time OSU football loses. Unfortunately, that is not often.
Today #3 ranked Michigan takes on #2 ranked OSU. If you have no dog in this fight, then please join me in rooting for Michigan, if nothing else, to know that this monster of a human being is somewhere, out there, suffering.
I am watching the game and always root against Michigan due to an irrational hatred. My grad school roommate went to Michigan on an athletic scholarship and her boyfriend played football. I think he was Jim Harbaugh's roommate. She talked about Michigan sports on a regular basis which could border on the annoying. One weekend her boyfriend and his buddy named Chip came to visit in their red ragtop Mustang rental. They would not shut up about Michigan. All Michigan all the time. He started to bug me the minute he walked in as he wanted to trade caps with me and his was so much better since the brim was signed by Harbaugh but I had no interest. I tried to stay away from them for the weekend except on Saturday night I thought I would try to be nice and join them for some beers and pool. Got to the pool hall and they completely ignored me. Didn't even say hi. Had a pitcher of beer going and did not offer me a glass; did not ask if I wanted to play. So I left after standing there by myself for one beer. Next afternoon I was coming in just as they were driving away and he held up my hat and yelled "thanks for the hat. I left mine on your bed." The bastard had gone into my room and stole my hat. And that is why I have an irrational hatred of Michigan football. p.s. Haha unsportsmanlike on Harbaugh
Awesome. I was knocked out at a gig after downing a bottle of Mezcal before we went out. I blame the worm for not being able to adequately defend myself. All I remember is getting knocked down and seeing some ugly bloke standing over me menacingly and kicking me in the ribs. Inebriated logic insisted I get up and set about righting the unjust universe only to have my lights knocked out after a very brief, drunken, flailing scuffle, quickly ended by a beautiful clean blow - according to my (cowardly) companions. Next thing I know I'm in the manager's office with a bottle of smelling salts under my nostrils surrounded with the rest of my friends. The promoter was there too and after a brief chat we were led out. I don't remember anything else about the trip home. Had a lovely shiner for about a week after though and I couldn't chew solid food for a similar amount of time.
I graduated from UW. I lived for six months up the block from fraternity row; that was the year WSU fans decided to celebrate their victory by wandering through my neighborhood breaking windows like it was krystallnacht. And while I've done plenty of work for UW, and plenty of work for WSU, and WSU as a campus is hella easier to deal with, and while their cheese is fuckin' delish, FUCK WSU IN THE NECK. 45-17, shitheads.
What a piece of shit. Drunk young men are the cause of so much unconscionable violence. I have no sports allegiances so I readily accept this offer to shit on OSU. Plus, as a Baltimore boy, our NFL coach is a Harbaugh so it's even doubly easy pulling for the other Harbaugh.
This being right after Oregon's civil war, your title made me think you got popped by a Beaver's fan.
Wait, so what you're saying is that there are people that root for Michigan that are also jerks? Thanks for that life lesson. I hope the guy that punched me in the nose jumped up from his couch, high fived his buddy and then in his excitement choked on his mouth full of nacho flavored combos and died. Kind of kidding.
Own a UM sweater from an admissions visit. Will wear today. they rejected me though :(
Their loss. They rejected me too. But, unlike you, I gave them no reason to accept me.