preface/context
A very old friend with a very long backstory is adopting a baby kitten. He asked me for advice. I suspect mainly because he knew asking me for cat advice would garner an impassioned and prompt response.
I had fun writing the two-page guide and think that maybe it's even also fun to read. I thought I might as well share my amusement, and advice, with hubski. The language might be colorful...but I promise, the tips? Salient.
Good to be back witchya. Maybe opening up my Etsy shop sometime soon, who knows. Catch up in the next pubski I hope. In the meanwhile, all the best -
ref
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CATS
A too long guide for [XXX]
ACTUALLY, KITTENS
1. Pick a good name (Already done!) 2. Keep him confined to 1 room for the first 3-7 days you have him. preferably your bedroom so you guys can snuggle and shit. some cats are more nervous and need 7 days. boy cats are usually more adventurous so he may be trying to explore further after 3 days. if he seems like he wants to go out of the room let him, that’s good
3. Yo feed him dry food. doesn’t matter what food but pick one kind/brand and stick with it, cats can be stupid about food and refuse to eat if you change it and actually hurt themselves, so just pick one and stick with it. dry food bc wet food stinks and is way more expensive and makes their shit smell
4. at least 1 litterbox, maybe even 2, and scoop that shit every other day. if he decides it’s not clean enough he will shit and piss outside the box. once a cat pees on your floor they can smell it forever and that makes them 100x more likely to pee there again.
5. don’t fuck around with vet bills like get him his basic shots and FIXED ASAP. boys who aren’t fixed often end up peeing/spraying inside to mark their territory and that is terrible shit you do not want. yes it’s expensive but after the first like 6-18 months they basically don’t need the vet any more unless you let them outside
6. get him some toys son.
a.laser pointer
b. one of those plastic circles that has a little ball inside of it so he can bat it around and around
c. something with feathers
d. catnip won’t work til he’s like 6 months old so just hold off for a bit but once he’s old enough it’s fun to get cats high while you get high (100% recommend that shit)
7. SERIOUSLY DON’T FUCK AROUND WITH THE LITTERBOX
2, STUFF CATS LIKE
1. 100% of cats don’t like 100% of the following, but like ALL cats like 5 or more of the following stuff/things: a. Ham
b. Feather squeaky bird toys
c. Tuna fish
d. string
e. chin scratches
f. butt scratches
g. drinking running water from your faucet (or toilet - put that lid down lol)
h. jumping on tall things and knocking off your fragile shit
i. sitting on laps
f. Wine corks as toys
g. Milk tabs as toys
h. rubber bands (shoot them across the room) as toys
1. Look contrary to popular opinion cats like people and hanging out. they get lonely. so hang out with ya boy Earl 2. if you ever run out of dry food cuz you’re a lazy fuck just keep some cans of tuna on hand and feed him that or give him some as a treat yo cuz he’s a good fuckin cat
3. take lots of pictures of him especially as a kitten cuz he gonna get big and ugly fast
4. if you let him outside he will get into fights and shit and that will give you big vet bills so just think long and hard about it before you let him out if you decide that’s what you want to do about it. once you let a cat go inside you can never get them to forget it so, don’t let him outside unless you’re sure you wanna do that.
5. lots of cats prefer to drink running water cuz their eyes are weird and they can’t see water when it’s standing still. AKA ya boy earl might like a water fountain if you really like him and ya feelin fancy
6. give him toys and catnips and try to make him purr at least once a day. any day you can make a cat purr is a good day
7. when he is a kitten and he tries to climb his way up your pants leg you will think it is really cute and want to let him do it. this will stop being cute as soon as he gains 5 more pounds and starts ripping up your clothing. so don’t encourage him on that one
8. Some cats are more scared than others but I really firmly believe if you treat your baby kitten like he’s an awesome fearless monster and let him explore and hang out with him and pet him all the time, he will grow up to be an awesome fearless monster who also thinks you’re the best person ever to hang out with. so like encourage his fearlessness.
9. Cat nicknames are the best nicknames. Call him all sorts of random things. Especially call him names of animals that aren’t cats. (Bunny, dog, monkey, bear, snake, etc.) Whatever ok that might just be a personal one but i think it’s fun.
10. Oh he looks like a long hair. think about getting a cat brush from amazon and brushing him every so often because they do shed like mother fuckers and it’ll get all up in your clothes and apartment. do you have a vacuum?
LOL i would be so surprised if you said yes
If your kid is allergic to cats or anything, you should get a vacuum so you can clean up the cat danger when the kid comes over and sleeps there and stuff. Maybe even just like a dirt devil or something small. If the kid isn’t allergic less of a problem but still, you’re gonna want a lint roller at least to help get cat hair off your couch and clothes and stuff
YES. I own a couch, but I sit on the floor in front of it with my computer on my lap. I think this helped me bond with my cats. They can just walk up to me. My cats LOVE hanging out with me. Max will sit on the couch behind me, and every morning he sits by the door to get scratchies before I leave for work. Tess sleeps next to my pillow every night, and in the evenings she's always within reach, often on my lap. They are very social with me. One thing you didn't mention: watch your cords. Max is a good boy, but Tess will chew cords. Especially the white Apple ones, but anything is fair game.Look contrary to popular opinion cats like people and hanging out. they get lonely. so hang out with ya boy Earl
Yeah, my two cats try not to be obvious about it but both follow me around the house. Like, it's not just magic making them appear in whatever room I'm in after 5-10 minutes elapsed. Zeke comes running to the door when I come home :) He sleeps next to me, sometimes on top of me, all that good stuff. Ruth is a little more reserved but not too much. She gets very friendly in the morning. I am convincing her that she likes laps too.
earl is a very good name. would disagree re: dry food bc i think the advice going around right now is wet food is better bc in the wild cats get most of their water from their food and not straight water. if your friend wants to stick with the dry food route, he should separate the water and food dishes because they tend to prefer them separately. play with him for 30 mins a day until he is panting and physically cannot play any longer. this will keep him from being restless at night. some people swear by the furminator for long hair cats i never noticed it making that much of a difference
This is what my vet told me, too. Also, wet or dry, it should be grain free. My vet especially stressed this. When I tell them I give them primarily wet but some dry and always grain free they pull a velvet rope that drops confetti and triggers a round of applause. Not really, but they do seem happy it's grain free. Again I agree. The most popular water dish in my home is the one in my bedroom. I have water in the kitchen, too, and it does get used, but the separate one is the key one.would disagree re: dry food bc i think the advice going around right now is wet food is better bc in the wild cats get most of their water from their food and not straight water
separate the water and food dishes
I am a crazy cat mom and I have a running water fountain for them. Zeke loves running water (runs to the bathroom whenever he thinks anyone is going to turn on the shower) and used to even shower with me as a kitten. I've read cats in general prefer running water and because of my experience with Zeke I just knuckled under and went for the fountain. (If I turn off the fountain after a few days Zeke gets really, really aggressive about chasing down running water sources. Also, my parents spoil him (turn on the tap for him in the bathroom) which hasn't improved his insistence.) I have heard wet is bad for their teeth, potentially? I had a roommate with a cat who developed hives if she ate non-grain-free food.
I had a cat that would also get in the shower with me every morning! And he really loved ice cubes.
I've also heard dry food is bad for their teeth. There's no winning with their teeth lol. My tortie got very stinky at one point from tooth delay.
To add to OftenBen and WanderingEng, grains often cause digestive and allergy problems. Our dog, for instance, has real bad skin irritations (she would literally chew herself raw) and grains in her food were part of the cause.
I understand it's much closer to their natural diet. Cats typically eat very little grain, and my vet likened it to humans eating a lot of sugar. It's kind of the cat equivalent of junk food.
My cat doesn't drink enough water, he's young but too little water leads to kidney problems down the line. We feed him a small can of wet in the morning and some dry to snack on during the day. Sometimes I put a few tablespoon of water in the wet to get some liquids in him. He won't drink from a running sink. A family member fosters cats for the human society. She had a kitten jump in the toilet and drown last year, devastating for a crazy cat lady. Put the toilet seat down especially when they are kittens.
AND BLIND PULLS. secure your dangly things because kittens die all the time by accidentally strangling themselves :(
Welcome back!!! Hobbes and George Valentine. You can't tell from the pic, but George Valentine is v. ugly. Sweetest, gentlest animal I've ever met, though.
I have four cats, and I've never tought about it indetail. Just give them milk and meet and all you are eating. One of my cat likes to eat cucumners. When she have on the plate cucumber and meet, at first she is eating cucumber.
I don't know where my cat is right now, but here's one of a gang of shy kittens that has been hanging around the back garden:
Damn, ref, you made me think about getting a car while reading that. Welcome back.