How do I click the share button twice? Love. It. I’m curious about the how-to-apologize section... and was that some Marshall Rosenberg Non-Violent Communication I was picking up on?!
Thank you for your comments. Thank you everyone. I'm pretty sure I published my "how-to-apologize" stuff here on hubski FIRST -- as all my good stuff shows up here first. Found it: Here's a really early version of the how-to-apologize instructions and some very insightful comments from kleinbl00 and others on that thread. The example posted then was a personal one. The one in the binder deals with conflicts occurring in teamwork/classwork.
4a. is a favorite of mine I haven’t got to use. It shows you want to understand how to make it right by them on their terms (assuming it is something I’m willing and able to do). One theme hinted at in that Hubski thread is ‘an apology is a change of behavior.’ Verbally stating the apology is just the beginning of ‘this is what I will do differently.’ Thanks for digging up that thread. Ask what you can do to build trust: "Is there anything I can do to show you I'm really sorry about blowing up."
Yes - you picked up on some NVC -- When this happens, I feel this, because I need this. -- My student should have owned his feelings more directly and said, "I feel" instead of "it makes me feel," which is a little blamey - but the message was clear enough. Our own thoughts and hopes and expectations and assumptions make us feel things -- These needs and feelings are sparked by the actions and behaviours of other, but not caused by others.