Thank you for your comments. Thank you everyone. I'm pretty sure I published my "how-to-apologize" stuff here on hubski FIRST -- as all my good stuff shows up here first. Found it: Here's a really early version of the how-to-apologize instructions and some very insightful comments from kleinbl00 and others on that thread. The example posted then was a personal one. The one in the binder deals with conflicts occurring in teamwork/classwork.
4a. is a favorite of mine I haven’t got to use. It shows you want to understand how to make it right by them on their terms (assuming it is something I’m willing and able to do). One theme hinted at in that Hubski thread is ‘an apology is a change of behavior.’ Verbally stating the apology is just the beginning of ‘this is what I will do differently.’ Thanks for digging up that thread. Ask what you can do to build trust: "Is there anything I can do to show you I'm really sorry about blowing up."