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I'm so glad this exists:
"Food of self-loathing Took a long time for fried crap They forgot ketchup". You really need to post this as it's own thing. This seriously brought me a lot of joy. Wonderful, absolutely wonderful. As I read your Yelpku a commercial for BMW featuring the song "Changes" by Bowie came on. Somehow all was right and wrong in the world at the same time.