and raises sex in fiction to the place it is in our real lives: a huge cause of many motivations, and one of the most potent experiences we can have.
That's a pretty noble goal. Sex, as you describe, is certainly the biggest driver of behavior that I can think of. People may deny that but once you dive in to the details of what we do and why we do it, it almost always comes down to sex.
Yeah! It's always at least an undercurrent. If you think about the usual aspirations for a modern man or woman... career, family, big house, nice car, ect. There seems to always be an element of trying to attract the opposite sex. It's a shame it isn't talked about more explicitly or in-depth, because sex is so intensely confusing for so many people. In the U.S. all we get is a basic run-down of mostly obvious things... what goes where and how to not get sick. What about how to please your partner? Or awareness of self-esteem issues rooted in sexual insecurity? Why don't we hear about pioneers in sexuality, even politicians like Harvey Milk, in school? Sexuality only receives negative examples in most medias... perverts (whatever that means) and rapists. We get reinforced to believe that sex is kept in a dark corner of our lives, when really it's all around us all the time. Think about how many people watch porn! The porn industry makes more money than Hollywood! A huge percentage of the U.S. population watches porn, and who even pays for porn?! We're sexual creatures, but nobody wants to talk about it. Sexuality is a huge part of a person's individuality, and it seems like it would do everyone a lot of good to be familiar and comfortable with themselves. End rant.
It was a good rant. You're right that it tends to be treated as something to be wary of or ashamed of instead of something that can be beautiful, fun and extremely pleasurable. Everything has its dark side, but why only focus in that?