Beyond that, how do I feel about marriage? Meh. I don't think you get anything out of it that you couldn't by being in a committed relationship. It's just a "promise", and promises don't require a formal ceremony or official documents. There are plenty of people in monogamous, healthy relationships for long periods of time that never marry.And so why get married?
-Many people will cite tax advantages etc or rights like power of attorney. But for us, the tax thing almost caused us to get divorced. My wife has an enormous amount of student loans. It's such a large number that I try not to even think of it. Because they take a look at our combined income to determine what she's capable of paying each month, we considered a divorce. Then we decided to just file separately. The penalties we receive for doing this are in the tens of thousands, but it's still better than paying the monthly amount. To solve for this, we've literally considered getting a divorce "on paper" until she's out of residency. Why don't we? Because we don't want a "divorce" on the books. There's really no good reason not to do it other than "it would freak our families out".
I should clarify more clearly that the "divorce" that was mentioned would only have been on paper and we would have remarried once the issue resolved. In other words, it had nothing to do with emotions and everything to do with practicality.
Well that's just bizarre. I had heard of getting married for tax purposes but ... I have several good friends who have chosen to go the civil union route. However, what they all have in common is: they are extremely progressive people in other aspects of their lives, and they aren't in particular contact with their families anymore. When/if I start to think about getting married, I will happily enter into a civil union instead -- but the prerequisite is, of course, finding a woman who hasn't been inundated with the cult of marriage. And this is low on my list of desirable characteristics, so marriage is probably in the cards.