This is one reason that I reject marriage out of hand. It is historically about transfer of ownership from the father to the husband, and I, for one, don't want the responsibility of owning another human. Slavery has ended, but marriage survives. In the US, spousal rape wasn't even a crime until, what, the mid-70s in a lot of states? Its stupid and outdated. Marriage should be abolished in the eyes of the law. Leave it as a religious practice. We can already co-own a house with whomever we want. We can designate power of attorney to whomever we want. These are civil functions that fall under contract law, and man, woman, gay, strait, are all the same. Why should you get a tax break for being married? So throw that out the window. In the end, the two benefits that marriage affords that are not open to the rest of us sinners are a) being able to designate a singular person who can inherit your estate tax free (but let's be honest, in the US the estate has to be worth way more money than most of us have to even make that an issue), and b) we can't impart legal residency to an alien of our choosing. If those few things were rectified though legislation, then all of the arguments about marriage become null and void. Princess fantasies and dreams of the big, fancy wedding keep women as willing conspirators in their own enslavement. I see no place for it in modern society.Finally, for the heterosexual marriage to ever overcome its historic reputation as a relationship based on power and control -- a reality which continues in many parts of the world -- we must model equality.
Haha. Good idea. I would still resent it, though, if I know me. The idea of the wedding gift pisses me off to no end. You decide to get married; you spend way too much fucking money on a party that I'm expected to attend, know full well I won't enjoy it; and, somehow, its my responsibility to pay for the honor. Wtf is that?
There are a lot of legal rights you're forgetting that help marriage along. Mostly about the time of dying but not yet dead. Also, these 'parties' and 'Princess Fantasies' are for the most part becoming cheaper and more moderate. They are often done for the benefit and appeasing of close family, particularly parents. And if you don't want to attend and show support to two people starting out, don't RSVP. It's rather simple. Moreover, women aren't the only ones with a lot of fantasies about their 'big day.' I was surprised to learn this too, but really, what's wrong with wanting to celebrate committing yourself to another person for life? I know a lot of cynicism comes from high divorce rates, but give humanity a chance. Seriously, we hear about the people who get married 5 times and the people who have been married for 50 years, and we don't hear about those who have been faithful for 8. Why? Because it's not a juicy story. But if you don't take them into account, then things get very skewed. I'm curious to know, if marriage wasn't a legal thing and weddings were a thing of the past, and two close friends of your told you they had decided to commit themselves to one another forever, and you remember that when you and your SO did that, that the money you got from so-and-so made all the difference, would you feel more like helping them out? Partially because you're not obligated to?
Me and my SO didn't do that, because I've made it abundantly clear that I won't; I have no interest in the money that I could accrue from it; I went to college for ten years so that I wouldn't have to. If any of my close friends or family needed money, I would give them some regardless of marital status.
A lot of people don't like asking for help. And a lot of people like giving help without being asked.
The government provides a tax break to incentivize marriage because married people (historically always, nowadays not as true) have more kids, larger tax base = more revenue. The government incentivizes behavior all the time, are you saying it shouldn't be allowed to?
Just because marriage was historically the transfer of ownership doesn't mean it's true today. That definition simply doesn't hold in the modern world. I don't see what's wrong with marriage. I want to get married. I don't see it so much as enslaving my SO but rather a promise to commit to each other, even through shitty times. And hey, what's wrong with a celebrating that? Sure, marriage isn't necessary. Two people can be together without being married. But it isn't slavery. Not today. I don't think your arguments against marriage really hold, and I don't think we need to demonize it.
I would never want to be in the "personal preference for not marriage" FYI. I am glad I'm married and wouldn't change that. I just think its not the only way to share a life with someone. I don't think it's as simple as "yay" or "nay". To each their own IMO.