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comment by AlderaanDuran
AlderaanDuran  ·  4342 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Lil's Book of Questions: Will You Marry Me?

I'm supportive of marriage if that's what the couple wants. It's entirely personal and people can do whatever they want. I'll never understand the hatred for it though, especially the ones in this thread who are voicing reasons against it from centuries ago like it's relevant. I get it, they don't like marriage, but some of the reasons in here make me laugh a bit. I mean, the comment comparing marriage to slavery seems to be the most popular opinion here at the moment.

I'm non-religious and getting married this fall. It's going to be a short non-religious ceremony that my friend is giving since he got ordained online, less than 100 people, some good food, some drinks, and a chance to see a lot of people I haven't seen in a long time. I'm looking forward to it. We're not going broke over it, I'm not enslaving my girlfriend or taking ownership from her father, I'm not expecting people to shower me with gifts and money, and it's honestly more for my family than it is for me.

It's a party because we're getting married. That's about it. Couples are free to make their own decisions and do what they want with their relationship. My fiancee and I wanted to get married, and she want's a nice little wedding, so she's getting it. If it was up to me I'd go to a courthouse and save a little money, but it's not all about me, it's about us.

Put me in the "for marriage" column, but only in the sense that I'm not against it. I don't think people should get married if they don't want to, but I don't think those that do should have it compared to slavery or written off as nothing but "princess fantasies". Just sounds young and naive and makes me feel like I'm on Reddit with a bunch of misanthropic teenagers again.





lil  ·  4342 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Great post, thank you AD for contributing. I totally agree with you about this

    Couples are free to make their own decisions and do what they want with their relationship
I was talking about my own feelings of ambivalence in my blog, and I think other posters are simply talking about their own relationships. I don't think anyone here is interested in controlling other people's decisions. I feel the same way about abortion: If you don't like abortion, don't have one. Don't try to control other people.

The marriage thing gets complicated because in most of the US, gay couples are not allowed to get married. As IntimidatingScones said

    it seems more productive to me to try to fix the system
Gay marriage would be the first thing I'd fix. Many of the other legal problems were identified by the women at Seneca Falls (property rights, inheritance rights, etc.) and have been fixed over the last 100 years, but many still remain, like the problems mentioned by thenewgreen. Much more important than whether to legally marry or not is the deal with your partner. Are you honest about your money deal, your sex deal, your monogamy or nonmonogamy deal, your childcare deal, your career deal, your housework deal? Those are the things that determine the happiness of your relationship.