I don't really understand why polygamy is such a big deal. Many married people already have children by people other than their spouse, so that can't really be an issue. Historically, there are many cultures that practiced polygamy. If I could get over my own issues with jealousy, I think it'd make sense to be married to several people, though I'm not interested in men sexually. I think it might be a good way to build community and foster an atmosphere where people's sexual, emotional and economic needs might better be met. That said, I'm, as a friend said, "rubbish at relationships."
It's a big deal because traditionally it has occurred in cult-like religious fringes. I dated a girl who, when she had had too much to drink would weep uncontrollably. It was really disturbing and she would never tell me why. Finally, one day she let me know that her step-father that she was terrified of was also her uncle. Her mom and her moms sister were married to the same man. He was not her biological father and it was expected that she too would marry him eventually. She was being raised for him. I know that she was raped by him, though she would never let on as much. She had scars, both physically and mentally from her struggles. She was/is a fantastic girl that escaped a world that is difficult for young women to escape. This is why polygamy is a big deal. In the US it is propagated by men, men that think women are property to be owned and used as they see fit. Is this how it has to be? No, I imagine there are some cases of polygamy where the parties are involved in purely consensual relationships. Unfortunately, my guess is that this is the exception and not the rule. Uncle Rulon's legacy lives on. Scary stuff, especially if your a young girl raised in that culture that doesn't know any better. Check out the book Under the Banner of Heaven by John Krakauer.
I'm aware of the perception of polygamy and its negative associations in the U.S. but I also think that it may be a case of bad apples, by which I mean that because a sect of people chose to define and practice polygamy in a dehumanizing way, it prevents all people from the option of practicing the concept constructively because they are prohibited to do so by law and social pressure. Also, there are many conventional marriages that are also abusive and yet no one seeks to ban marriage on account of those many cataloged instances of abuse. I don't know much about FLDS, but yeah, it seems like a festering nest of some crazy.
I always find it funny that the usual opposition to polygamy comes from a standpoint of the 'defense' of traditional (i.e. biblical) marriage when traditionally and biblically polygamy has been acceptable for many centuries.
Absolutely. Not to mention that "traditional" marriages still exist that is, traditional to other cultures, in the form of arranged marriages and marriages for economic purposes and Western cultures tend to look down on those practices. Not to mention that biblical marriage also includes taking a man's brother's wife as his own in the event of his brother's death and "providing her with a son" if said brother died without having one. But of course, only if the brothers "dwell on the same property."