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comment by lil
lil  ·  4147 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What is a true story you've been waiting for a chance to tell?

That was actually a goodlongread! thx





cgod  ·  4147 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My wife woke from her slumbers at about three A.M, came down stairs and sat beside me while I was finishing this. She had heard the story the day before. We chatted a bit and I asked her if she wanted to hear what I just wrote. By the time I was about halfway through she was laughing at me and shaking her head, "Another digression? The punchline is one sentence long, why didn't you just write the thing in two paragraphs?"

lil  ·  4147 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Why not two paragraphs?

Because the story is not about the quiz, it's not about the wonderful punchline. The story hangs on the punchline, but that's not what it's about.

So what is it about: 1) bartending in the an urban neighbourhood 2) personalities 3) male competition 4) and ultimately rites of passage, proving one's self.

It's a wild west story about two gunslingers. No one gets shot (down).