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comment by onehunna
onehunna  ·  4133 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What Are/Were You Looking For (in a relationship)? Did You Find It?

I'm newly single, and if there's anything a break-up does, it's allow you to re-prioritize what you want in a partner. I don't like the idea of making a laundry list of specifications and requirements I want a chick to have, because there are so many different personality types out there and who wants to limit their options? But my main thing is: I want a girl who can act completely independent of me. Like, have her own thoughts. Make her own decisions. Do things on her own. Pursue her own passions. Without me.

Dependance in a relationship isn't even a real relationship, I call that parasitism. That's an ugly thing and I'll bounce if I catch wind of that shit.





cgod  ·  4133 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm not trying to burn you or wave a feminist flag or anything here, this is just what I consider good advice. Stop looking for a "girl" or a "chick" and start looking for a woman. If you are looking for "girls" and "chicks" your chances of finding an independent, thoughtful person who has money of her own so she doesn't have to spend yours goes up significantly.

The moment I stumbled into a woman and left behind the gaggle of crazy girls I had always been with was the moment I met my wife.

humanodon  ·  4132 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That can be hard to do, when you're a boy. When you're a man, sure. But, I think sometimes, it takes several realizations to understand the difference.

onehunna  ·  4133 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Haha, chicks, girls, women. They were just some terms I was using. But I get what you're saying.

cgod  ·  4133 days ago  ·  link  ·  

They can really mean different things to different people and language has a powerful effect on how we view and interact with our world.

user-inactivated  ·  4133 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I like this post a lot. a) the laundry list bit, and b) your choice of traits. I've deleted and rewritten this next bit several times without understanding myself at all so I'll leave it at that -- good post, I agree.