On icanhazchat (big chatrooms with video) we had rules to ensure it was a nice community and no insults, hate, homophobia, etc. Those rules were pretty widely followed without issue except for a couple trolls. For a while they weren't even explicitly stated, it was just assumed that you would be nice.

But after a bit we had to start actively enforcing a "no comparisons" rule throughout the rooms. It was one of those things that was so hurtful to the community, even though there was no insulting or hateful stuff being said. It was the one thing that would get girls to hate each other, get guys to hate each other, make people generally feel like shit, and foster a community where everyone was competing rather than everyone just hanging out and having a good time.

People wouldn't even realize that what they were saying was hurtful or demeaning. So many people just flat out didn't get it. "I'm complimenting him though, so now I can't compliment him???" Yes but you're simultaneously insulting someone else.

Comparisons do a lot of damage to both genders. While I think it is healthy to compare yourself to people around you in order to motivate yourself to do better and be better, you should be doing it for you, not for the approval of people around you. I do this in terms of work, goals, personality, etc. I often wonder how thenewgreen consistently makes everyone around him feel special and am trying to work on that because everyone, including me, likes to feel special.

I try to not compare myself to people based on looks but I fail pretty consistently at that. Comparisons and wanting what other people have is a problem since the beginning of time. I don't think it's specifically a problem in modern society, but it has become much more widespread with the deluge of media and advertisements we are hit with every day. All we can do is notice when we are comparing ourselves to others and be aware that our feelings of jealously or envy and self-esteem are affected by that. Just taking time to actively note this helps make you stronger and more aware, which can help curb those feelings, even if its just a little bit.

The second is the same photo of Marilyn, this time alone in the Motivational Poster style. The text reads: “PROOF: That you can be adored by thousands of men, even when your thighs touch.” From the start this would seem like a better message. No comparison photo, no pitting women against each other. For some reason, though, this photo troubles and angers me more than the first one does. Because here’s the thing: you are worth more than what men think of you. Marilyn Monroe was, to put it mildly, very sad, very often. She was a sex symbol, and thus, stopped existing as human being, a regular girl. Almost everything that fucked up Marilyn’s later life had to do with being “adored” by men.

I think it's worth noting that this exists for men as well. Granted not nearly as much as it does for women, but the male need to be successful in the eyes of women and society is very real. This "success" certainly comes with physical expectations. It's one of the themes in the movie Fight Club as I recall.

It's an interesting topic because, man, this issue is loaded.

When I first looked at the initial image, my instinctive thought was (rather unexpectedly) that both theses individuals are a bit off-center from perfectly healthy. Honestly I don't think I've seen a photo of Monroe where she looked this size before. But above all, it seems very shallow to make "sexiness" the one-and-only issue here when each side has its own vices. In that sense I totally agree with the author. Self comparison with others is probably as bad an influence as societal pressures. But that's one of multiple issues here which aren't even mentioned.

The part I take issue with most is the author's simplistic approach to Monroe's depression. Admittedly, I don't know much about Monroe's case, but depression is a disease. To pin it all on insecurities about herself seems naive. It tries to hard to make the world a one-dimensional scale of body image.