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comment by coffeesp00ns
coffeesp00ns  ·  4061 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Today's Writing Prompt: Water

I think "Into" would be better. agreed?





humanodon  ·  4061 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I do like that better. I think this is worth playing with and I certainly hope you will. It's very striking visually and I think there's a lot of room for play.

coffeesp00ns  ·  4061 days ago  ·  link  ·  

we are two ripples in one pond---------------------------------------------------------in one pond we are two ripples

energy commencing from separate points-----------------------------------separate energies converging on a point

forcibly, and inevitably moving towards each other-------------each other moving together forcibly and inevitably

------------------------------------------------------------we collide--------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------- then move apart again----------move apart, then again-------------------------------

--------------- encountering other ripples------------------------------- other ripples we encounter-------------------

fading into entropy---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------fade into entropy

a few minor changes

lil  ·  4061 days ago  ·  link  ·  

thanks coffeespns - I love the idea of the ripples colliding...it's sad when they move apart... water is the metaphor for the constant motion of our human encounters.

I've been playing with a lot of water concepts: water down to a thin soup, cosmic sea, liquid lunch, strange brew, rain, raining cats and dogs, tip of the iceberg, condensation, melting, freezing....all of these swimming about in my mind (and fading to entropy)... cloudy rainy day.... heading out to an event...but will see what bubbles to the surface.

ut nothing has come together yet

humanodon  ·  4061 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Nice. I still think that this can be developed, if you're of a mind to. I don't know if that little break in the dashes is intentional, but it does give the sense that entropy has entered the system of the poem.

coffeesp00ns  ·  4061 days ago  ·  link  ·  

frankly, the dashes are because I am bad at figuring out formatting and needed a way to make the mirror effect! I'm going to keep working on it.

humanodon  ·  4061 days ago  ·  link  ·  

They're really working for me and honestly, I think that the reason that they do is that I wouldn't have thought to use them in that way, evocative as they are of a picture of water. Glad to hear you'll work on it some more.

coffeesp00ns  ·  4061 days ago  ·  link  ·  

creativity inspired by necessity.

coffeesp00ns  ·  4061 days ago  ·  link  ·  

thanks! poetry is a hobby of mine to take my mind off of classical music.

humanodon  ·  4061 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Aha! Now the organization makes much more sense. Very cool. Have you seen articles like this, which detail the neurological link between music and poetry? It's something that has been obvious for a long time but only recently looked at through the lens of neurology.

If you don't mind me asking, what's your involvement with classical music?

coffeesp00ns  ·  4061 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm a masters student studying classical Double bass. I've never seen an article like that, but I also, am far from surprised.