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comment by thenewgreen
thenewgreen  ·  4054 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What It's Like To Fail: From TV Writer to Homeless Man

    My wife, Marina, was cooking dinner for me and our eight children, and it was as happy a Christmas afternoon as I would ever have.

I have no sympathy for someone with 8 kids complaining about not being able to provide for his EIGHT kids. Sorry.

You made certain choices and now have to deal with them. steve am I being too harsh? :)





steve  ·  4054 days ago  ·  link  ·  

This dude's article is so full of straw men and blame that I don't have time at the moment to dissect it. I'm at work (at a job I don't like which stresses me out - to pay for the kids I chose to have) and will respond later.

but no… you're not being too harsh. This dude is wack-a-doo in the head.

kuracisto  ·  4054 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't think he's whackadoo at all. A fuckload of us skirted the black hole of the recession. Some went in. Some came out, a lot didn't. At least not whole.

I think just a bit of big-heartedness is due here.

steve  ·  4054 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm not speaking from a small-hearted vantage point. I work with homeless people on a daily basis. He wasn't homeless because of choices beyond his control. He was homeless because of the consequences of the choices he had already made. His long story, short is this: Chose to get married. Chose to have lots of kids. Chose to work in jobs he didn't like. Got unbelievable opportunity to do the job of his dreams. Got paid super well. Had more kids. Saved some money. Neglected his wife. Neglected his family. QUIT WORKING to try to save family. Didn't save enough. Didn't control financial decisions well enough. Tried desperately to hang on to a lifestyle only affordable by those who work and get paid a lot of money. Lost it all. These are all choices he made or consequences of those choices. Now - does it suck that his career field took a drastic turn for the worse and didn't need him back when he needed it? Yah. Ask a traditional draftsman how they feel about CAD. Some learned the new tools and stayed abreast of technology. Some worked with their heads buried in the sand only to find themselves without a job at 50 and they don't have a pension "When I finally hit 65, my WGA pension combined with Social Security means I should have a comfortable retirement." I've got a few friends in this boat. I feel miserable for them. I help them out. I work to get them job training to change careers at 50. IT SUCKS. But in the end - they own the mistake of not keeping their eye on their career.

I feel like the author is blaming too many things other than himself for his plight, when in fact, he is largely responsible for what happened to him and his family.

    we latched on to each other with a ferocious and unstoppable kind of love.

Actually, it was stoppable. When you decided to make your work your life, and neglected your marriage, you put your marriage on course for rough waters.

    Suddenly reality came crashing. I was married and needed a real job. I decided to launch a magazine in Minneapolis

It's called foresight. He never thought beyond the galavanting in Europe long enough to realize that he might some day need a career and a way to support a wife whom he unstoppably loved? And let me get this straight - you chose to start a magazine in Minneapolis? No offense to Minneapolis folks - I love the place - but it doesn't exactly scream out "publishing capitol of the midwest" (it's listed as the 7th component of the economy)

-He chose this career. It is high risk, high stress, hard on families, and happens to take place in one of the most expensive places around.

-He took two years off to be with his family (which I think is kinda cool and noble) but he chose to do that in the same place (expensive, etc)

-While I commend him for having a large nest egg and living below his means, he didn't do his math right.

In the end - I have a lot of compassion for the guy. I would help him out if he came knocking on my door. But you can bet the farm that all of this could have been avoided with an ounce of forethought and wisdom.

istara  ·  4048 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Exactly. And I'm really disturbed by this:

>By 2008, with the older children off at college or working and my job prospects bleak, Marina and I decided to separate. She moved to San Francisco with our two youngest daughters and settled in temporarily with two of our oldest daughters who worked there. I could no longer even afford to house myself. I found friends to take in my two remaining high schoolers.

He ditched two of his kids on friends?

Both him and his wife sound like selfish idiots. You know what, if you have eight kids and money woes, you MAKE IT WORK. Even if that's living separate lives under the same roof for a while.