At first I had this whole post marked up talking about someone whom I thought was my first love. But then I wiped it out. Because I realized that I wasn't in love - rather, I was infatuated by the fact that a girl was actually nice to me. In reality, we were totally incompatible. We had nothing in common. Where I had drive, she was too content to do...nothing. We only broke off talking to each other a few weeks ago. It was then that I realized that being in one another's company severely damaged me as a person. I'm still recovering from it. And I went from having that one person I could talk to about anything, who I never fought with, whom, right under my family, held a special place in terms of people I care about (which is not an easy spot to earn), to not having that person at all. My phone is useless now. I leave it across the room because the one person I actually used the phone to talk to is gone. Since then I've done a lot of self-reflection. And I've felt strange. I had a conversation with my roommate about "having a girlfriend," and we both sort of realized that we were content with not having one. I mean, when I think about it - actually having a girlfriend, whom I've fallen for - I don't know what the hell we'd even do. That's the part that's made me feel strange this whole time. The previous girl and I talked, but, that was pretty much it. The occasional movie, maybe. We once went to an Art Museum. And while at the time I can say I enjoyed myself, I'm not sure what "the point" was. I'm both afraid and perfectly fine with the fact that I've become complacent with being alone. I feel as if I'm too boring/different to even engage in a relationship again, because if I were placed in one, I'm not sure what I would do. A difficult pill to swallow, but I seem to be handling it well. I think I've gotten off topic from the point. But I guess that's the story of my "first love" - realizing she wasn't, and then realizing that I don't know if I even need to meet her.
Frankly? Sex. Lots and lots of sex. Don't know how old you are but frankly, the younger you are, the more of it you'd probably have. In between the sex and before the sex for a number of dates there is some amount of talking and working one's way to sex. And you figure it out as you go, too. If you're not of drinking age of course you wouldn't go out to bars and drink. But that's one thing that's big with dating, and with that comes conversation, which generally flows a bit smoother after everyone's got some wine or liquor in 'em. Last night I went sledding down a giant hill with a boy. We walked to a reservoir in the snow. The reservoir sits in a huge hill. We didn't bring sleds, but because of the angle and the unprecidented precipitation this area has experienced so far this year (we've gotten near a foot of snow in 3-4 days) there were both sled tracks and discarded snow-riding equipment scattered all around. We saw people sledding on makeshift pieces of cardboard. I found a plastic container lid and he found a snowboard. We took turns pushing each other down the hill and trying not to end up in the ditch of rocks at the bottom. (We succeeded.) Then we went back to his place, where his roommates had made dinner and had friends coming over, and we watched The Human Centipede. (I would not necessarily advise you to watch The Human Centipede while on a date.) A lot of my dates have ended up being: eat/drink, walk around, talk. Sometimes you go someplace a little out of the ordinary in order to walk around, like you drive to a state park or a flea/farmer's market. Maybe you cook together (although I don't; I don't cook well with others). Maybe you make dinner for each other. You go to concerts together! (There isn't usually much talking then.) I have a bar with arcade games and sometimes I go there for dates. In the summer there are beaches. You just do things. Whatever you'd do with your friends except one-on-one. And hopefully you enjoy them.I don't know what the hell we'd even do.
I feel as if I'm too boring/different to even engage in a relationship again, because if I were placed in one, I'm not sure what I would do.
I think this is a myth. Or maybe I'm just an adolescent stuck in a grown man's body. I keep waiting for the day when my sex drive subsides, and I can get some focus in my life. But so far, two decades after hitting puberty, it hasn't really started to wane yet. It's a curse and a gift, I suppose.Sex. Lots and lots of sex. Don't know how old you are but frankly, the younger you are, the more of it you'd probably have.
What I have found is that the time spent having sex does not necessarily change, nor necessarily the drive... but the number of times you go in a day decreases. I have a couple of male friends in their early 30s who say they still have the same drive. Basically I think I am saying quality goes up but quantity may go down a bit. I'm just sayin', like, I ain't havin' sex five times in one afternoon anymore. And yeah, I'm sure miles vary.
Obviously, people have different sex drives but, it seems like it can be tied to a person's level of physical fitness. If I'm in really good shape, I have a really high sex drive. If I haven't been working out for a while, then it diminishes a bit. Someone must be studying this, somewhere.