I'm not disagreeing that trust will make the relationship healthy and incomparably better than without, my problem is how easily it is said that trust is key, but how in reality gaining and keeping it in the relationship feels ridiculously hard, almost impossible. Shouldn't it be natural?
I believe that some relationships are more fertile ground for trust than others. At least that has been my experience. To a large extent that had to do with where I was at when I was entering the relationship. IMHO if you are not in a good place without a relationship, then you won't be in a better place within one.
I'm interested in what you're saying but I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you explain? I figure, if I'm alone and lonely, not being alone would solve the problem granted my relationship is healthy.IMHO if you are not in a good place without a relationship, then you won't be in a better place within one.
I suppose if loneliness was the extent of your problems, then a relationship might be the fix. But, speaking for myself (with the advantage of hindsight), the healthiest relationship that I ever had (the one I have now) came at a time in my life when I was without a doubt content not to be in one. The short version is that at one low point, I resolved to work upon myself and to become the type of person that I might admire. It wasn't a straight path, and there were detours and setbacks, however after a few years, I had moved to a place that I think might have surprised my younger self. Once there, I found that what interested me about a relationship changed, and that it had less to do with fulfillment. My real interest was sharing life and what I was doing and I wasn't worried that the opportunity wouldn't arise. The The has a great pertinent lyric in their song Giant: I think you can swap 'know' for any number of words.How could anyone know me
When I don't even know myself?
I think you said it best This makes a lot of sense, thanks for the perspective. Also that song is so crazy, once I braced myself for like 10 seconds I was hooked for the whole ride.But, speaking for myself (with the advantage of hindsight), the healthiest relationship that I ever had (the one I have now) came at a time in my life when I was without a doubt content not to be in one
Pab, e.coli and syphilis are natural. Natural doesn't always mean good or worth it. Agriculture isn't natural, let alone our current standards of housing or clothing. We just don't have to put in as much work on those things, personally, because of industry...and that's not natural either. Couldn't you argue that the human being/human life in nature (or in our "natural" i.e., uncivilized environment) is probably innately, as Hobbes had it, "nasty, brutish and short"? You've read Lord of the Flies, no?
well that would mean that human relationships are unnatural as well! Unless we're so tainted by social construct that the original ingredients to a healthy relationship has been irreparably destroyed, so that we'd need unnatural things like trust to keep it all glued together.