I'm a redhead and pale as can be and for various reasons a bit "off". I'm also "off" in a way that many seem to think is very sexual, which is very disturbing to me. The fact that I am a redhead does not help matters. So I'M comfortable with myself, but people constantly assume that I am not or/and that I should not be. On the flip-side, I'm white, short look as girly as can be and have during my time in school so far gotten away with things i shouldn't have gotten away with. Because people kind of assume I'm weaker than I am and could not have possibly done this or that.
How does your 'off'ness present itself to other people?
See the brunette woman in this clip; That's how I act when I'm uncomfortable.
Huh. To be honest the weird camerawork in the interview disturbed me more than her reactions. She just seemed a little intense and focused to me - not off or odd. I guess we can never account for people's interpretation of our exteriors.
Okay, I will get REALLY personal now - She was bullied a lot in school and has made a movie about how she would react if she had been invited to the class reunion, which she wasn't. In that interview what she is saying is basically "I have no self esteem what so ever". She is talking about REALLY disturbing things. She pretended to have/re-enacted her own psychosis to prove how fucked up the mental health system can be and was taken to court. (She lost, but she got a symbolic punishment that she has said wont affect her)
What is disturbing is not how she acts - it is the combination of act and speech. It is a bit, well off. I identify a bit more with her than what is healthy.
Aha, I missed a huge amount due to the language barrier, then.
That is the point, I wanted you to. She is talking about what may be and probably is the worst moments/time of her life. And she just looks focused. The thing is that she is saying/has said that she has moved on, and that if she hadn't she wouldn't have been able to make the movie she made. And I really get that, the whole "well I got through it, but why the fuck did I have to?" The whole getting angry and not sad. Sometimes I do this thing where I'll tell a joke and people start to worry instead of laugh E.g I've had it happen that I say "funny story" say something I honestly thought/think is funny and people react with basically silence and concern. It is a very sweet reaction and I don't mind it - but it is a reminder that people to think I'm slightly crazy.