I'll go first:
"Running on a treadmill is like having sex while wearing a condom. You know...they're hard to get on and they completely ruin the mood. But then you start going and it's really not that bad. You still sweat like crazy and get a good workout while the person next to you tries not to make eye contact."
-Louis C.K.
Your turn:
"I'm voting for Donald Trump." - thenewgreen
Is that Trump fellow really such a douchebag? I've seen the Nerdwriter dissect his answering the questions, and he seems to me a very dangerous individual to have as the President in the US. He's what Russia's Vladimir Zhirinovsky would be had he started to promote his jingoistic views seriously: the thought of such a president in Russia terrifies me; I'd pack what little shit I have and leave immediately.
TNG taught me that. It's a good word. It expresses the idea perfectly. Jesus. I feel sorry for the American electorate if some of those people really believe his words: they're getting brainwashed by a simple solution when a more effective one is simultaniously harder to accept. "We have a problem. You see, we have a problem. Yeah, we have a problem", referring to the US Muslim immigrants after what happened in Paris. Yeah, you do, people: the hatemongers and the hatred and the fear they propagate.good use of the word "jingoistic,"
Yes, he's really such a douchebag
"Sometimes, I'll sit at night and stare into the woods, watching for the drifters, hobos, poachers, wanderers, restless, fed-up, tired, disgraced, and lonely. I watch but I never see them, because you only notice them looking down from society. The lonely can never see the lonely." --Jack Kerouac Also, any idea why this isn't showing up on my global? Chatter yeah, but global no.
Authors. Good idea: "The spoon is the angriest utensil. If it had nostrils, they'd be flaring. If it had eyebrows, they'd point sharper than two twin-tacks. Yep, the spoon is an asshole of a tool. You would naturally assume that the fork or the knife would carry this distinction, but no.. it's the spoon." --Tom Robbins
Not sure. mk. I don't have you blocked, muted, hushed or shunned. In fact, I follow you.
No worries, I've actually changed the tag now. It wasn't appropriate anyways and you're probably wise to filter #funny. I will un-shunn you. :)
"I found him to be very intelligent and a fair, capable leader. I foresee a long and prosperous relationship between our two countries." -Donald Rumsfeld on Saddam Hussein, January 1984
"In the future, we will carry in our pockets devices that contain all the world's knowledge, can take and transmit a picture around the world and contact anyone on the planet in an instant." -Nikola Tesla, 1903
If you had said Ray Kurzweil, I could have believed it.
Hell, I almost believed Nikola Tesla. -The guy was pretty phenomenal, you know... aside from falling in love with a bird.
"You see, all along it was a game, a trick of society. A little act we all forgot we were playing along with. And it is only when you realise that you are not a separate ego in a bag of skin but a vital part of a whole that this becomes startlingly clear. The wind does not blow without your breath. The sun does not rise without your awakening. The birds do not sing without you as the conductor. We see that the belief that one must find their place was wrong. The place always find us." - Alan Watts
This was relayed to me through my KittyInterp2® when I got up to pee in the night."You know what I think about the fucking water dish? It's pathetic. Insulting, really. We used to have a fountain that had a flow goin', for god's sake, and now, this? No, yeah, you know what I'm gonna do. You did this to me. Every time I look into the water dish and I see that ther-OH MY GOD, THERE IS. There is FRESH water IN the water dish RIIIIGHT now. ...I'll bet I can push it all the way to that piece of shit bathtub with my head..."
"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams, but it can weaken the structural integrity of them to the point that they are no longer able to bear the immense weight of a building, and thus collapse." - Abraham Lincoln.
"To correctly achieve a hole-in-one, one must urinate directly into the washtub drain. To do so incorrectly will result in a terrible lingering stench." - Graham Chapman
"All these dead cities host us like radio broadcasts. Signals, bouncing around in the concrete souks, trading with each other, with a fading junkie's desperation, for a moment of belonging, before fading into the background hiss of the universe again. We built the wheels and levers of these machines but now they hang free. There's no-one left at the controls." - William S Burroughs.
"There is no more savage, slathering wolf-faced parasite than the politician that has burrowed his way into the corpulent body of the entertainment media. Back in the day at least they had the decency to stand stiffly, aware they were missing the joke, or the butt of it . Now they host god-damned press dinners and perform a stand-up routine, slip into character on nationwide comedy shows, good old boys laughing at themselves and warming the hearts of the kids as their talons remain backstage, slicing through nameless women and children in sandy deserts half a world away." - Hunter S Thompson.
"You can't just make these things go away. You know, we live in a continuous cycle of bullshit after bullshit after bullshit, and you can't just say 'I'm done. No, that's enough, I'm not having any more of that'. You're breathing it by now! You can't wish it away! You gotta live through it, day after day after shitty day, smeering of it every single time as you go to bed, because this will never stop!" — George Carlin, 2014