I'm just trying to sort through a now confusing future and maybe win some sympathy points to take a bit of the shock away, so read if you want.
I mentioned in Pubski a month or so back that I'd be chosen as a finalist for a full ride scholarship at one of the colleges I applied to. The interview round was earlier this week, and results came out today.
If you can't tell from the title, I didn't get the full ride, though I did get about 1/2 off tuition as a sort of compensation/next-highest-tier deal. Which I strongly appreciate. I also strongly appreciate just the opportunity to be considered, and the fact that they offer 12-17 full rides a year. I also really enjoyed the opportunity to go out to the college (at their expense) and meet the other finalists, as well faculty, staff and current students at the school. The experience definetly made me reconsider ruling the school out if I didn't get the full scholarship. And the people who did receive it could not be a more deserving group, and I'm glad to have met and become friends with some of them.
I think though that even more than hoping for the full ride, I was hoping for the sense of security about my future. I'm not one of the people who would turn down a full ride at a school I find halfway decent. Now though, the decision is on my shoulders again.
I have a fantastic financial aid package from another school that would also give me some great career opportunities (a little bragski there I guess). But, I like the atmosphere less. And I know no one there. And while I'm sure I'll find friends easily enough, especially if I have hubski for my bitching to, I really like the people I met during the trip. And then the career opportunities might matter less, since I'm thinking about joining the Peace Corps out of college, and would therefore lose some of the connections and momentum I made in those opportunities. Yet, experience is experience, debt is debt, and the second school is the best for that.
But everyone, from my parents, to my friends here in Madison, to the friends who got the full ride, are telling me to go with my heart. I'm not sure where it points yet. It doesn't help that I'm still waiting to hear back from my top school, though at this point, major aid seems really unlikely and it's the most expensive school I applied to.
So yeah Hubski, that's where I'm at. It's rambling, it's petty, it's unimportant, but it's a life. Any specific or general advice would be much appreciated. Or you can chew my ass out for whatever you'd like. Or ignore this; I've had much worse happen to me.
Management edit: a quick little #bugski, mk, rob05c: the submission tips says a personal tag can be made by putting an "@" before the tag, but it only worked for me if I put it after the tag.
1) wait for the news from Top Choice. 2) sit down with friends you trust and make your decision. Write it down. 3) GET HAMMERED. 4) Make the decision again. Write it down. 5) Sleep it off. 6) The next morning, see which decision rings truest. 7) Do that. You face a series of doors. You only know what's on this side. You can guess at what's on the other. You can only go through one at a time. Give your head a chance to mull it over, then get your head drunk and give your heart a chance. In the morning, whichever made the best argument will win.
If only they gave scholarships for that. I had a bit of a bender this weekend, between getting back from the interviews and getting the results, which gave me a little time to start sorting stuff out before knowing the results. I've got stuff this weekend, but next weekend, I think I'll be following your prescription Dr. Kleinbl00. Thanks for the solid advice as always dude.3) GET HAMMERED
I went to a trade school after I was in my 40's, so I never did the "going away to college" thing, but I do know one thing: If you do not follow your heart, you with ALWAYS wonder about the option you didn't take... the one your heart told you to go with... and every little thing that goes "wrong" on your new path will always have the question mark of, "Geeze... if I had followed my heart and done the other thing, then would I have avoided this trauma/situation/stress?" Whereas, if you follow your heart and it doesn't work out, then you have learned a valuable lesson about yourself. You thought one thing would be amazing, and it wasn't. Why? Introspection. Self-discovery. Confidence. Lessons learned. Etc. There was one time where I clearly did the "logical, right, and correct thing", and didn't follow my heart. And I still think about her several times a week...
I have been very open about how much the situation I'm in with my best friend (i.e. unreciprocated attraction) sucks. But if I know one thing, it's that if I hadn't told her how I feel, I would be in an even shittier place right now.There was one time where I clearly did the "logical, right, and correct thing", and didn't follow my heart. And I still think about her several times a week...
For me it was moving back to the USA, and leaving a relationship with a lovely woman behind. We had been dating for a while, it was good, but it wasn't let's-move-in-together-and-have-babies serious... and I needed to either leave the country, or commit to becoming a full citizen of the EU instead of just a long-term tourist. Job prospects had dried up. I had just come out of a bad relationship, and wasn't sure I should jump into another one.... and so logic told me to go "home", be near my parents again, and rebuild my life in the US. So I did. My heart wanted to stay, and it still twinges when I think about it.
fuck effortlessness. fuck that. try really hard and let everyone see. yeah whatever I just quoted mitski on twitter to you deal with it I'm on IRC with Q and / join usmitski @mitskileaks 19 Aug 2015
Shit, sorry bro. I know how hard it is when everyone says "Go with your heart!" and you have no idea where the fuck your heart wants to go. What I will tell you: I went to a school that I thought would be perfect for me. If I made the decision again with all the information I have about this school (but not my life here, if that makes sense) I wouldn't come here. But I've met some of my favorite people in the world here, and I found loads of stuff to do, and for the most part I'm happy. (When I'm not lonely, which if we're honest would've happened anywhere I went.) I guess that's just to say, don't stress so much about it. Or do, I don't own your life.
Oh Madison yeah? Nicest day of the year so far, I think, although I've spent it looking through a glass brightly from my office. Anyway, shit, if you've got full ride options are you a national merit scholar? Just go to one of those schools for free.
Yeah, it's a pretty nice day. Friday wasn't too bad, and we've been on break, which has been sweet. I'm not a national merit scholar. I was a finalist for a full ride at both schools I mentioned above, but didn't get them (obviously). Otherwise my choice would be easy, but now it's like a difference to $10,000 a year for better academics and atmosphere, but worse career opportunities. I'm thinking maybe I'll just go for the more expensive school and make my own career opportunities.
Is it possible for you to visit the school with the fantastic financial aid package and the great career opportunities? What is is about the atmosphere of this school that you like less? If you are decided on your major or career direction, which school has better stats on job placement after college in that area?
I visited it this fall, but not for nearly as long as this week's visit to the other school. It feels a lot like my high school, which isn't a terrible thing, but can also have it's annoyances. Both can be very...alternative places, which isn't necessarily where I fit in best. I'm having trouble finding career placement stats for the specific programs, but overall the schools have similar stats for all graduates.
Congrats on getting the 1/2 tuition deal. Good luck with the results from your Top Choice school. Waiting is hard. It's also hard to make a decision when you don't have all the pieces because you have to guess about the pieces you don't have yet and that can get confusing. I hope you can find some peace in the middle of all of this.
If it only takes you one trip to meet people you really like you probably won't have an issue doing that again at whatever school you pick. So I wouldn't let sway your decision too much. I have no other advice really. I'm more of an apply for one school and hope for the best gal myself so I've never had this issue.