a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by AlderaanDuran
AlderaanDuran  ·  4349 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: What are you doing with your life, why, and how do you feel about it?

My life is great, but not some things are different than I expected. I'm 31 now, but in my mid twenties never could have imagined I'd have the life I do now. Wasn't planning on kids or marriage anytime soon, wasn't really interested in home ownership, loved living in the city, and was happy with my good IT job that I had with no interest in management, ever.

Now, I am a low level technical manager in the IT world, make more money than I thought i would, own a large house, am getting married in October, and planning on having a child sometime after that. I also don't live in the city anymore, and live in the burbs now... but I totally love it. I used to love being near the bars, and allmy friends, and at the heart of the action here in the Twin Cities... but now I couldn't really care less. I like my quiet neighborhood, I like my nice and friendly neighbors, I love my house, I like mowing my lawn and taking care of my house, and I like the idea of finally settling down and getting married. It's all incredibly comforting and relaxing in a way I never thought possible.

But when I was younger I never really saw myself being this successful suburbanite, but it happened and I love it. It's not about the money either, it's about the pride in what I've done to achieve my success, and my home, and my land, and the work that goes into maintaining my property and career is what's made me happier than anything. It beats playing video games, or sitting around being lazy, and the rewards and confidence I get from it are far more fufilling. In my free time I juggle, I play guitar, I read books, cook with my fiancee, go out for cocktails, play a lot of darts, and sometimes when there's nothing else going on I'll still maybe do a little video gaming or watch some TV shows on Netflix. All of those things make me happy in different ways, and that's all that really matters.

A lot of these other comments in here, about "figuring it out", and "looking for answers" would have been what I said 5 or 10 years ago. But at this point in time, I realize that stuff is mostly pointless. Being comfortable with never knowing everything, and being comfortable with never "figuring out my life" completely are things I've just become comfortable with and accepted... and it's made me a much more relaxed, happy, and productive person in life. I'll never have it all figured out, or know what I'll feel 5 years from now. All that matters is "today" is a good day, because that's all there ever will be.





user-inactivated  ·  4348 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
AlderaanDuran  ·  4348 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I am, kind of. I have plenty tied up in 401k/Roths. But bought a house last year, getting married this year... so not a lot of "folding money" to be had lately. All money well spent though, in my own personal opinion. There's more money to be made out there everyday. ;)

thenewgreen  ·  4348 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Often, the wedding can lead to some money of the "folding" variety. We took all of our wedding money and put it in various mutual funds and then forgot about it. 7 years later we had turned it in to a substantially larger amount. I think many people (I'm not suggesting you) forget that the reason people give money to you at weddings is so that you can use it as a "nest egg", not so that you can spend it frivolously. It sounds like you are off to a good start. My advice is to max out all of the obvious long term investments: Roth, 401k, perhaps a flexible College fund for those kids you're likely to have. Congrats on the house and a BIG congrats on the upcoming nuptials. Good luck with everything, it sounds like you have a lot to look forward to.

AlderaanDuran  ·  4348 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My fiancee and I don't spend money frivolously. I make great money, but I drive a Subaru, buy my clothes at Kohls, don't eat out a lot, etc. We're really not into designer anythings, or spend a lot of money on stuff we don't need. I know people who make half what I make and have houses twice as big and drive 5 series BMWs. We're pretty good about money, for me, I work hard now so that I don't have to later (IE; I want to retire sooner than later). We're actually having a pretty low budget wedding, but I blew most of my liquid cash on the down payment for my house a few months ago. I put plenty away right out of my paycheck into 401k/Roth, so my take home, even if I DID spend it all, still wouldn't be dipping into retirement, college funds, or emergency funds. I am fully vested at the company I work with and put it almost 20% of my paycheck between my 401k and Roth, and my company matches 7% up to 10k a year which I'm contributing well over. Our wedding is going to be under $10k, which is relatively cheap for most people (where I'm from anyway).

The good news is, my house is already valued at 50k more than I bought it for, as we bought at the bottom of the market in our area. I waited and waited and waited to buy a house until the right time, and feel like we got a steal for the neighborhood we bought into.

My father was founder and CEO of a truckline out of Minnesota for his whole life, and despite that, he still doesn't spend more than $10 on a shirt or pair of jeans. He raised me well, and taught me how to make a lot of money, but not spend any of it.

Any cash we get from the wedding will go into savings, or maybe towards a honey moon. We don't even have a honey moon planned because we are both stingy and don't want to spend the money on it right away. :)

Saving come first! I don't want to work my whole life. But I totally get what you are saying. Many people spend too frivolously this day in age and it's kind of sickening. I'm a manager, and people who work FOR me have nicer cars, houses, and things than I do... but I could care less. That's not what I'm working for.

thenewgreen  ·  4348 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.