Of course, over all evolutionary time our life expectancy was between 20-30 so we didn’t evolve to pairbond for much longer than 7-10 years (hint: this is the ultimate cause of the “7-year itch”).
Interesting. Is this a funny anecdote or is this sincerely why people in monogamous relationships tend to to get the "itch" around the 7 year mark? Your thought or established behavioral science?
It is a theory proposed by evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller in The Mating Mind. He cites that there seems to be a universal pattern to male/female short-term courtship; as well as long-term commitment. He proposes that humans employ the "scheherazade strategy" for long-term commitment, which typically extends for 7-10 years before running its course. The scheherazade strategy is the idea that females have evolved a more verbal proclivity to men because they need to keep a man engaged and interested in more long-term sexual scenarios. This is in line with a lot of psychological research that demonstrates that females start and carry most conversations in long-term relationships; whereas men shoulder this burden during courtship. Furthermore, I also think this theory is logically consistent. It would make sense that there is an evolved strategy that lasts 7-10 years. Evolution is never wasteful and 7-10 years is probably the minimum amount of time necessary to raise a human child at rates successful enough to effect natural selection (and hence favour the selection of pairbonds that can remain stable for 7-10 years). After that, what does evolution care about your pairbond? Energy won't be put towards the stabilization of the bond when it is non-functional. That is why I think the only actually happy long-term exclusive pairbonds are between people who would be really good friends regardless of sex.
I,like thenewgreen, share the same skepticism about that kind of analyses ( I dont know if it has a name, I'd call it "psychological analyses by evolution " or "evolution behaviorism")
Dont get me wrong it's very fun, and entertaining to read. And I'm grateful for your post. But there's no actual fact behind such analyses. It look like some coherent (that's why I like them so much) fiction. Let's take a common human phenomenon,ie : men liking to drive faster, while women dont care that much about speed (I make this up,I have no idea it it's a real phenomenon). I think we can find an evolutionary explanation for that. Like , depending so much on speed for hunting, men get more incentive to go fast as hunter, while women as gatherer dont care that much.
It's a plausible explanation. But masquerading it as science, is a bit far fetched in my book. Evolution may be a good explanation for some human behavior, but like Freudian psychoanalyze can be. It hold together very well, it just lack any proof.
And even if one or the other is true, it's probably not a significant explanation. Economical, traditional weight, aging and changing, and other parameter may have far more role in some behavior (like the 7 year itch) than evolution. (sorry for my poor english)
Throughout my entire post I provide a lot of behavioural evidence to support my assertions. You would have to bring up a specific point I make in the post, so that I can respond to this criticism that I believe is unwarranted. I am not just telling an adaptive story. THIS is ridiculous. There is no evidence for it, and so I have never said it; and would never say it. Now you're going too far. Biology is the base of our behaviour. Evolution is the process by which our biology exists in the way that it does. Culture emerged (and evolved with) our biology. Evolutionary theory is the best way to get at our fundamental behaviour, and there is a ton of evidence to support it.But there's no actual fact behind such analyses. It look like some coherent (that's why I like them so much) fiction.
I think we can find an evolutionary explanation for that. Like , depending so much on speed for hunting, men get more incentive to go fast as hunter, while women as gatherer dont care that much. It's a plausible explanation. But masquerading it as science, is a bit far fetched in my book.
Evolution may be a good explanation for some human behavior, but like Freudian psychoanalyze can be. It hold together very well, it just lack any proof.
In Helen Fisher, PhD's book, "The Anatomy of Love," she actually says that the median length of monogamous pair bonds is much more like 4 years, though the reasoning behind it is similar. Once kids hit around 3-4 years old, they can walk and listen to their mother, and the need for the mother/father pair has been reduced. Here's a relatively short article discussing it - http://www.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/cppp/magazine/article0.htm...
It's an interesting theory. It's so easy to forget that we humans are animals and have desires and drives that have thousands of years of momentum behind them. From that link you provided, I was shocked that the leading cause given for divorce was adultery by the wife. Why is that? Is it because when a man commits adultery the wife doesn't leave as frequently as the man does? Or do women have more affairs? I would find that hard to believe.
If we're talking about evolutionary theory, I'd guess that a man could cheat on a wife but still stick around to help raise his child. But if a woman cheats (and it leads to pregnancy) then the man may refuse to raise another man's child, and he decides to leave. (Lions are a little harsher, and a new dominant male will actually kill cubs from the previous den leader!)
The part discussing that it's unnatural to love for several decades is interesting too, and reminds me of a discussion I recently had with someone about serial monogamy, a term of which he'd never heard.In this game of Texas Hold Em’ heterosexual males are at a disadvantage because we are expendable. Sperm is infinite (and therefore free). In order to make themselves valuable, men have to do more work during the stage of limerance (courtship) to find a valuable mate. Women have to make themselves appear valuable to men as well, but not to the same degree that men do because eggs are the scarce (and therefore valuable) resource. As a result of this biological difference men usually feel limerance much faster than women do (to make them pursue and “put in the effort”). But when in a state of limerance, there is no male/female difference. This is because, although sperm is infinite, a sexually committed male is not.
This is an interesting piece of evolutionary explanation. It certainly explains why so many guys I know seem to, as I have otherwise put it, invest a lot of emotion in girls they really have weak (or non-existent) emotional bonds with.
Everyone can deny it if they want, but males have sex mainly based on opportunity.It certainly explains why so many guys I know seem to, as I have otherwise put it, invest a lot of emotion in girls they really have weak (or non-existent) emotional bonds with.
Especially interesting is the contrast with the video asking women for sex. The men seem to be kept from agreeing only by their suspicion, if at all, whereas the woman react with outright mockery or disgust.
Yes, it was a perfect and simply social experiment to show the fundamental difference in the sexes approach to sex. It comes down to gametes. Sperm is free and not valuable. So when men are in a situation where a woman just really wants their sperm and nothing else they jump at the chance. Of course this situation never actually happens because women behave by their own evolutionary logic. In contrast, eggs are certainly not free so a woman will not just give them to a man "for nothing" - hence the mockery/disgust.The men seem to be kept from agreeing only by their suspicion, if at all, whereas the woman react with outright mockery or disgust.