Title basically says it all. Although, it's a couple of more years before I plan to get some children, my fiancée is American and I'm European and we plan to raise our kids with two languages (each one is one's mother tongue).
Anyone of you experiences the same (has been raised with two languages), plans to do the same or even already has a child or some experience somewhere else with it? I'm interested in what you think about it!
You should each speak your own language to your children. You'll have the best success if you're very strict with yourselves about this--you have to speak 100% in your native language to your child for their entire childhood. Make sure your children respond to you in the appropriate language as well (although it's normal for them to mix languages for a bit when they're only a few years old, and that isn't necessarily a sign of deficiency in either language). Since your kids are only learning two languages, I'm assuming either you or your fiancee are living in your native country. Your children will learn the language of the country they're raised in with zero problems. Even if nobody spoke that language to them at home, it would still happen naturally as they started going to school and making friends. That language is also inevitably going to be the kids' dominant language. So the parent that speaks the foreign language is the one that needs to work hard in this case. Kids need a lot of exposure to it: the parent, relatives (if possible), visits to the foreign country (if possible), books and TV, schooling (if possible), etc. It also needs to be maintained for the kids' entire life--if you give up when the kid is, say, 5 years old and the parent starts gradually speaking to the kid in the other language... The child could lose their ability to speak the foreign language, even though they were able to speak it at 5 years old. Language is something that needs to be maintained all the way through adulthood. If the partner speaks the foreign language (even though it's non-natively), then you might even consider both of you speaking only the foreign language at home. The child is already guaranteed to learn the home country language, as I already said. Whatever you do, just make sure you get your kids as much exposure as possible to the foreign language. It can take some effort, but native bilingualism is something your kids will probably be thankful for when they're adults.
>If the partner speaks the foreign language (even though it's non-natively), then you might even consider both of you speaking only the foreign language at home. The child is already guaranteed to learn the home country language Totally agree with this. Focus all your efforts on the foreign language, but don't sweat it, and don't make it an issue of stress if the kid refuses to respond in it. So long as it understands, and it will, you're on track for bilingualism.
First, thanks for your reply! Since you seem to have a lot of insight into the topic, I have a specific question. I heard that there are multiple ways to handle the second language, but you have to be strict about it (basically what you said). You proposed, that the native language parent strictly on talks to the child in his language. Now, another approach I read about would be, one language at home, one language outside of home. I wouldn't have any problem only talking English at home. What do you think of this approach? Of course, both have their advantages and disadvantages, but I mean rather generally speaking.
Yes, both are good ways to achieve bilingualism. There isn't one universal best way, since things vary a lot from one family to the next. The following assumes you're raising your kids in Germany, since that's what you implied. Scenario 1: Your fiancee speaks English to the child, you speak German. Pros: > The child will start learning both languages from birth. > You will be more comfortable since you're speaking your native language. Cons: > It will be more work to get the child sufficient English input. If you have English-speaking preschools where you live, that would be a very good idea. > If the mother understands German and doesn't stick to strict English-only communication (e.g. child speaks German, mother replies in English), the child may grow up to understand English but be unable to speak it (passive speaker). Scenario 2: Both you and your fiancee speak only English at home. Pros: > Your child will get much more English input (it would still be a good idea to seek out other sources of it though). > Your child will still attain native(-like) competence in German, although it will happen later. German will ultimately be the child's dominant language both in scenario 1 and scenario 2. > Your child has a better chance of attaining a higher level of competence in English, and a better chance of maintaining it. Cons: > You will have to speak your non-native language at home, which for some people may make them feel like it affects their relationship with their child. > Your child's knowledge of German will be behind that of their peers until they catch up. In this scenario, I would recommend getting the child out into the community starting from a younger age than you might otherwise. I would recommend sending them to a German-speaking preschool so they have more exposure to German and more practice speaking German prior to entering elementary school. > During the first few years of life, the child might not know enough German to communicate with German-speaking relatives. This will change fairly quickly once the child starts preschool/school. Conclusion Both scenarios have their pros and cons, and there may be more pros/cons that I've not thought of. One way isn't necessarily better than the other, it's just up to you and your fiancee to decide which way you like best. The most important thing is that you're consistent, and you choose a plan that you know you both can stick to. It's good that you have a lot of time to think about it and decide. I'm sure there are some "language acquisition for parents" type of books that go more in-depth, so I'd encourage you to take your time and do some more reading. I'd recommend you a book but unfortunately I haven't personally read any (I'm not a parent, I've just studied linguistics).
Here's some first-hand experience of being raised bilingual, for what it's worth: I grew up in an English-speaking country, with my mother speaking Russian to me, and my father speaking English. When all three of us were together, we all spoke English, as my father's Russian isn't very strong. The result is that I can speak and understand Russian fluently, and read and write it at a push (but this takes a huge amount of effort on my part.) I wonder if my written Russian would have been better had we only used that language at home. Positive side-effect: I became fascinated by language, ended up with a degree in an area of linguistics, and now have a job where I get to make creative use of language. Negative side-effect: I found learning a third language at school tougher than I should have, because my brain would often switch into my 'default other language', Russian. This resulted in some awkward moments during spoken exams, where I would respond in Russian when questioned in French.
Hah, that's happened to me even though I was raised monolingual. :) I think it's a common experience for anyone who's studied 2+ foreign languages.I found learning a third language at school tougher than I should have, because my brain would often switch into my 'default other language', Russian. This resulted in some awkward moments during spoken exams, where I would respond in Russian when questioned in French.
Yeah, when I got back from a trip to Japan it was nearly impossible to think of anything in Spanish or French because the Japanese would immediately come to mind. My Latin was still solid though; maybe it acts as a different category since it's all written.
Above all—make sure they feel comfortable with bringing the language they speak in school and with friends into your home. My parents spoke Dutch to me, exclusively, while my entire life outside of my home was in English. I could not express myself to my parents and it was excruciatingly difficult. There has still not been a resolve to that issue and I am quite distant from them today.
Yea, that's surely something to consider. I asked a question regarding the rule on how to do the two language thing in another comment. Yours is surely an argument in favor or doing it on a parent basis instead of home and not-home. Thanks for comment, I'll keep it in mind for sure!
I knew a couple in Chicago that was teaching their child French as well as English. Everything in the house had a little post it note on it with the word of what it was written in French. Even the toothpaste had a label on it. I think visual access to the language is just as important as having a parent speak it.
I agree with what everyone has been saying here but i would like to add one thing: get them interested in the foreign language's culture. When they will become a teenager and you will communicate less and less, the foreign language will get worse. Then, they will move out and only use the foreign language when visiting you, which depending on they relationship you'll have will probably not be daily. Slowly, they will begin to forget the language and will speak with an accent, i've seen it happen with my friends and relatives. If you get them interested in the culture by watching tv shows, movies, music, books they will be drawn to make friends from the foreign culture to discuss those things. They will discover tv shows or music that they will listen to without you, and maintain the interest when they move out. Basically, you won't be the only contact they have with the language, which means they will use it more and forget it way less. Anyways, that's just my two cents on this, don't assume that if they speak the language at 10 they still will at 20. I know for a fact my russian is way better than my sister's because i've always been closer to my parents and stuck around when we were watching movies. I grew to appreciate the culture and now a lot of my friends are russian.
Nice to have another perspective on this, thank you! But since my the planned second language is English and nothing too extraordinary, and it's mandatory in school for a bunch of years, I'm not that worried about that. Also, they will know fast that watching undubbed series half a year before they air over here in Germany is much better, I hope :D
From my experience, the child will speak what its peers (schoolfriends) speak, but it will still understand you, and receptive language is the most important thing. So if you are living in the US but you speak to it in French, for example, it will likely reply in English. Don't stress about it. Just keep up the French as much as you can. There's also no point making a concerted effort to teach it the language of the country you are living in. There is no way the child won't quickly sponge that up once it starts school. You may as well focus your efforts on whichever the "foreign" language is.
I have to agree with others here. Being bilingual doesn't have drawbacks as far as I see. Also, you mention being European, but that still means there are still many different languages you might speak natively (2 or 3 if you are from Belgium). If you plan on living in Europe, I think that having English as a second native language is nothing short of a blessing. Being able to speak english without an accent will be a huge plus later. Mind if I ask which language you speak?
I think it's a good thing. Learning more than one language allows people to see the world in ways that the monolinguistic might not. Language informs our experience in many ways and in a world where people not only travel more, but for longer distances for many reasons, it's a good way to open ways for kids to understand how vast the world is and how to relate to a greater variety of people with ease.
mk, you should have some advice on this. zonk, you might benefit a bit from reading this post by BorgoPo on Third Culture Kids, it could help prepare you. My advice is to speak both languages to your child and get them fluent within each. I have friends that speak both french and english in their household. Their son is 2.5 years old and he speaks in both right now. At times it seems like he is behind the curve from a language development standpoint but I think that in the end it will benefit his cognitive development and being bilingual will certainly be an advantage for him in life.
That's a good point, I forgot to mention that in my comment. Children learning multiple languages do take longer to reach milestones, and they look for a while like they're behind in their development compared to monolingual kids. That's completely normal and nothing for parents to worry about. Bilingual children will catch up and won't be linguistically impaired or anything like that.At times it seems like he is behind the curve from a language development standpoint