I collect CDs. My digital collection is at about 13,000 songs and my physical CDs account for about a quarter of that. With that, comes a tremendous amount of CDs that I have which are garbage.
They've become a special treasure for me because not only do fewer copies exist since the album never sold, but also because I get to listen to them once and it's cool that I'm the only one in a room that has any idea who Vibrolush is. Don't look into Vibrolush. It's not good.
But by far, the worst CD I own, is Josie: Unkunvenshunul Girl. It is a special brand of bad, because it is so in the time of its release that someone might have walked into a room and said, "Ok, this can sell now and only now. Get it out the door."
But don't take my word for it, head down to your local library and check it out.
So what's the worst CD you own?
EDIT: I totally forgot what made me think of all this. I was reading old music reviews and stumbled across a glowingly positive review of my worst CD. This review is from September 5, 2001. Six days later terrorists attacked the twin towers. Coincidence?
The Twisted Sister Christmas album, "A Twisted Christmas", is probably the top of my list. The thing is, it's so bad it wraps around and becomes amazing again.
It's the only xmas album i will willingly listen to, only because I know everyone else is as uncomfortable as I am.
I basically don't have any bad music because I stream everything before I download it, BUT I've recently moved near a music exchange which sells old CDs for a dollar -- or for fifty cents if you buy 5+. And the selection is terrible. So it is perfectly feasible to close your eyes and grab a fifth album at random to save yourself a couple bucks. The other day I was in there and I saw the name Paul Simon on an unfamiliar record. I thought, wow, I've never heard of this, what a score. ...Paul had a Christian phase.
S.W.A.T. - Deep Inside a Cop's Mind It is an album of country covers of various songs rewritten from the perspective of a police officer by Jim Goad, Boyd Rice, most of Poison Idea, Adam Parfrey, and Anton LaVey. I bought it on that description, because how could such a thing fail to be the funniest thing ever? But it isn't. It's just... listen to this. None of those guys are known for good tastes and almost all of them were trolls before there was an Internet to troll, but this was just lazy.
I will live script my reaction. Oh god. It's In the Ghetto. From a cop's perspective. This is going to go well. Nice intro, sweet guitar. Bullets. Whoa. You went there immediately. Hookers? The Hooker got gang-raped. I don't want to go to the ghetto. They kept the high pitched choir. This guy can't sing. And he's racist as shit. He just said 'their kind.' 9 year old smoking angel dust. Has a glock. 11 year old Jamika is pregnant. The suburbanites came to buy weed and got killed. My God. That was fucking terrible.
I really like Matt Ward's music, I think it's great. I like Zooey Deschanel's voice too. However, the worst album I own, and this is saying something, is She and Him's Christmas album. It makes me roll my eyes, from the artwork to the arrangements. My wife bought it for me last Christmas and it sort of epitomizes "hipster" to me.
That's a great one. Here's a cutting review of it from a blog that went nowhere. I think the review is pretty good, but I hate most professional music reviews. But yeah, She and Him is pretty good. Stars Fell on Alabama is excellent.
Okay, so I have a confession... A couple years ago, I went on a big ski trip. For those of you in warmer/flatter parts of the world, skiers and snowboarders party hard. Of course I had to join in. So there was this party bus that would ferry people around for free to different clubs. If you asked nicely/were drunk enough, he'd give you his mixtape for free: "Visions of Freedom: Pathway to Infinity." I knew him only as The Wizzard. I woke up the next morning and found the mixtape in my overnight bag. You can imagine how much I remembered of the previous night. Anyways, here is his Facebook. You can find his music on iTunes! Imagine that. Evidently, he owns a sports ranch. I've never actually broken the seal to give it a listen. I feel like I'd need an appropriately profound time in my life (or just a shit ton of pot) to do it justice. If anyone happens to give it a go, let me know how it is!
Hmm... hard to pick just one. There are a few that come to my mind: Black Sabbath - Technical Ecstasy Didn't sound like Sabbath to me. I was going to put Forbidden here, but it's just "Illusion Of Power" that went sour. Accept - Eat The Heat They were trying to go to a hard-rock route with a new singer and all... it didn't feel like Accept here.I liked "Generation Clash", and liked it even more when they re-recorded it with Udo in Death Row. The first 3 albums were more rock-oriented and didn't stand out to me. They got their trademark sound starting from Restless and Wild. ATB - Dedicated Sounded cheesy to me, listening to this in 2014. Gotthard - Homerun Another dated album. Too many ballads for me. I liked when they go for that lush 90s sound that a lot of bands did at the previous decade, taking it to a more U2 territory, like in "End Of Time". Fancy - Get Your Kicks The title track is the only thing you can salvage from here. Cheesier than cheesy. Kraftwerk - Radio-Activity Pop, conceptual Kraftwerk singing about radioactivity didn't tickle me fancy. Computer Love was a conceptual album too, but the arrangements were better made IMO. Moby - Destroyed and Innocents I didn't like this "new ambient" phase. This comes from someone who loved Ambient. Here, things sound too stale for me. Diamond Head - What's In Your Head All Will Be Revealed was a good album, the new singer did a good job, Death & Progress was awesome (Sean Harris FTW), but this one... was just bland. Basically, the quality has dropped here. Loser - Just Like You This album hasn't been released officially, and thank goodness for that. John 5 is awesome, his work here is great. The problem is the singer he teamed up with at the time, who makes the whole thing sound like a heavier Nickelback clone. Now, an album that wasn't bad, just very unusual: Chris Cornell - Scream I liked that he teamed up with Timbaland, but this album's production was very weird. The songs were cut right in the middle, and some drum tones, like in "Part Of Me", are just off. If I had to pick the worst of all, Get Your Kicks, hands down.
My live reaction to the first song on Fancy's Get Your Kicks: Colder than Ice having never heard it before. Snyth everything. AshleyR is a god damned idiot. This is fantastic. Like Dead or Alive but slower. Oh, his voice. Now I get it. It's like Copa Cabana for 80s kids. It's coming back around for me. They lost me when they hit the chorus. It's like a talent show at a high school. Just gently speaking into the mic. Repeating dumb little lyrics about some blonde girl who is not nice. In fact, she is so not nice, that she is colder than ice. It's an 80s pop ballad with a lame chorus. Absolutely forgettable. I'm waiting for it to be over already and I've literally only had these two minutes of my life in which to experience it. In case you forgot, she is colder than ice. Why does he even like her? Because entice rhymes with ice, that's why. --I had to pause this to break up with a girl that just called me. Just wasn't working for either of us.-- Fuckin' more chorus? This is something that the 2000s taught us. Verse, Chorus, Verse, Refrain Chorus, Out. Not 80s pop, which is verse, chorus, verse, chorus, chorus, chorus, fade out. Back to just the synth. Strong finish. Also, I'm drunker than when I started so there's more dancing. Not much, but more.
Hahahahaha! That's how I felt when I first listened to this album, except for this: Here's some yummy synths for you:Fuckin' more chorus? This is something that the 2000s taught us. Verse, Chorus, Verse, Refrain Chorus, Out. Not 80s pop, which is verse, chorus, verse, chorus, chorus, chorus, fade out.
The first one immediately reminded me of this one. Thank you for that! I remember listening to that song on my Grandma's record player. Because fuck it, I'm old. Also, one of my favorite new pop songs/videos. Even though by now it's a few years old and you probably know it. Despite this, their new album sucks balls. Make the Girl Dance - Kill Me