I MADE SOME SHIT, Y'ALL First of all, my first sweater is done! Really happy with how it turned out, just a smidge short, but that's okay. Already started another sweater, because I'm crazy. Also, I started painting stuff this weekend. I've never really been good at or liked drawing/painting, but I've been toying with some isometric stuff for the past few weeks, which has been fun. I'm making about 1 room a day, might connect them, might not. First one: (The dog is named Sammy) Not quite as cleanly executed as I'd like, but I like the design of this room. Might make it again sometime. WIP of the current one.
No avantgarde fashion, then. It looks good.
On the contrary: there has been no progress in cuddly for the last couple of centuries. Go ahead, then, and make headlines.
You Canadians and your high quality of life...
<3 Thank you. I'm torn - I feel like I never spend enough time with any of my hobbys to get really good at any one of them (music being the exception, I guess), but I like that I can be sat in just about any room and make SOMETHING I like. I think I very much have "Jack of All Trades, Master of None" syndrome, and I'm at peace with that. (Also, isometric is easy if you've got a ruler! Most of my family are engineers, so I feel like this sort of thing is baked into me on some level).
I've come back to this pubski to check out these isometric (drawings? paintings?) of yours three times now. Can you tell me more about them? Both yours specifically (how would it fit together? it's a house clearly/potentially/theoretically, tell me more about the house) and maybe if you could tell me more about the isometric style/technique/school or throw me some wikipedia links. I am very curious, it looks like something that would be fun to try. I would really appreciate hearing more. Thanks!
In addition to bfv's link, I found this guide pretty informative and straightforward. I think the best thing to do to get used to drawing in isometric is to get some isometric graph paper, or just print some out(PDF warning), and just draw a shit ton of cubes of varying dimensions. I mostly just searched through reddit.com/r/Isometric until I found something really basic looking, and then I just tried to copy it on graph paper. I also tried to model basic furniture around me - mostly tables and stuff. Understanding depth in isometric grids is tough, and I mostly just draw lightly with pencil until it looks right. Because it's modeling a 3D space, I find it's pretty easy to see when something is going the wrong direction (granted, it's sometimes less easy to figure out where things ought to be going...). The only thing you really need to get started is a triangular protractor, which should have a 30 degree angle on one side. If you have a transparent ruler and a better knowledge of geometry than me, then you may already be fine. You just need some way to make 30 degree angles. I'm planning on doing some more paintings this weekend, I'd be happy to take some pictures along the way and write up a quick visual guide for how I do stuff. There's a bunch of tiny little tricks I've picked up along the way, I'll put them in there. Generally speaking, I make a cube, then an isometric grid inside of it, both in pencil. I draw some furniture, erase the gridlines, then border everything with a fine black marker. After that I fill in with acrylic paint and some markers. To tell the truth, I know nothing about painting theory, so I just make most object monocromatic, and don't clean my brushes too well. Sometimes it works out well. I'm not entirely sure yet what these rooms will be - some of them are idealized rooms from my memory, some are rooms I'd like to build some day. I think they're all part of one mansion, big enough that you can sleep in a new room every night. A nice place to visit.
My baby brother is in a critical care unit following an accident on the highway late last night. From what I know he is stable after some surgery to address an internal bleed, looking at a recovery measured in months. I need more coffee. Update* He is stable. Progressing well. Off the ventilator, off most of the stabilizing meds, pain is well controlled without rhino tranquilizer. This brother is the black sheep who left home as a teen after months of fighting and screaming matches to go live with his girlfriend and her family. Before he came off the ventilator he wrote a note to the nurse asking her to call his 'adoptive family' and have them come. Drama has ensued. I think I have felt almost every emotion humans are capable of feeling in the last 48 hours. I got 3 hours of sleep last night before getting to the hospital at 3:58AM today.
Moved to a stepdown unit today. Back brace in place purely as a preventative. Twice daily visits from the respiratory therapist to make sure he is recovering breathing capacity at the expected rate. Low addiction-potential pain pump in place in lieu of rhino tranquilizer. Beginning discussions of how to begin rehab and physical therapy. A visit from the police officer who was first on the scene. Two other cars involved in the crash. He was hit by a Tahoe doing about 65 MPH. Both of the other drivers are fine, their cars are scrap. He was the one at fault via 'too fast for conditions.' I don't know what is next.
What’s next is recovery and accountability. You know what you can and can’t control. You can slap your lil bro around after he gets off the back brace.
Skiing My ski trip to Kirchberg/Kitzbühel was awesome. It was my first ski holiday ever. (You know, telling that fact to people I know instantly lets me know how well-off someone is. Europe is so tiny that anyone wealthy enough to afford a second holiday has fled to a ski resort in the Alps at one point or another.) I had great lessons and went from angstily making 'pizza curves' to whoosing down a hill in the span of an hour or two. At the end of the second day and the beginning of the third day, my unexperienced ski buddy and colleague made the mistake of picking awfully difficult 'blue' routes. It was disheartening and scary, because you start to doubt every ounce of technique you think you have when you stumble down for the twenty-sixth time. But after that we went to the easy blue tracks, I finally 'got' how to make corners (lean forward and outward!) and made real, tangible progress. We ended the day by going to one of the tops and skiing down a route that I would have never thought I'd be able to conquer just days earlier. That third day was beautiful, not just because of the satisfaction that learning a new skill brings, but also because of the drop-dead gorgeous views. And lighting (see above). There was also plenty of time for aprés-ski, I had some great food and got to know a surprisingly large amount of my new colleagues. Which brings me to the second heading... Work I technically haven't worked more days than I've gone skiing. I also don't really know yet what I will do, but I have a bunch of good ideas already and I'm already enjoying this work tremendously. Today I had this realization that I don't feel a student anymore - that I'm starting to feel like a professional. The only issue now is my god-damned commute. It's looonngg. I walk to the bus 07:30, take the bus to a train station, take a stop train to an intercity station, transfer to an intercity train and walk fifteen minutes to my destination. Total time: almost 2 hours to traverse 60 miles. It's an hour by car but if I'd do that, I would be caught in the traffic-jam-vortex of 4 different cities so it would not be a whole lot faster. In a weird way I am proud of the proper timetable planning that's behind my commute: each transfer has around 8 to 10 minutes of transfer time. My bus is meant to arrive just before my stop train, which is synchronised with the IC train. It means I don't have to rush and small delays aren't a big deal. Plus, with my tablet I can read and shoot off some emails on the go. And it's only temporary, or so I hope. We sent the final documents today - well, if they don't pester us again and just write the damn rental contract for us to sign, that is.
Ski holidays are the best holidays IMO. The physical exhilaration, the views, the feeling of zipping down a mountain, the apres ski... it is perfect for me. It also gives one the opportunity to sit in a snow bank and take in the experience of being in a place like your picture. Lessons are the way to go no matter how long you have been skiing or how good you are. I take 2 half day lessons on the first 2 days of every trip and I am a double black diamond skier who has been doing it for 40 years.
Yesterday was hard, I finally have to start confronting something I've been avoiding. I was born with or developed in childhood external tibial torsion in both my legs. This is not even a little conducive to distance running. My only option is to manage it and continue to strengthen basically all my muscles and tendons in my lower body. Even then, I'm more likely to be hurt running long distance than the average runner. To add, my movement efficiency will never be great because a lot of power is lost when pushing off my feet due to this alignment. I might never be the runner I want to be, due to something completely out of my control. That's a hard pull to swallow. I don't like feeling constrained because of something out of my control, and right now, I do.
Cry me a fuckin' river, dude. Over the summer I went in to a second physical therapist over the fact that I was like tearing a hamstring when I ran. She discovered that I've got thirty fucking degrees of torsion... and that I have somehow made it to the ripe old age of 43 without an ass. Yeah. So now I do ass exercises every day. Kegels and shit. Like, ridiculous "you've been in a car accident" crap. 'cuz you know what? I've gotten as far as I have with 30 degrees of rotation and no ass. Any progress from here is like developing super powers. Did you know I'm about 3/4s of an inch taller now? Why? Because goddamn it, I'm having to fucking learn to walk again, with my new ass, which means I don't slouch nearly as much. It's fucking amazing. And you know what? I'll probably never be an ultramarathon runner. Or, if I am, I'll have to work harder than everybody else. But I have to work harder than everybody else anyway. College? College was kids yelling "Run, Forrest!" every time I went outside because if my weird-ass gait. I figured they did it to anybody; no, just me. Now? Now I'm adding like 14 muscles that I've never had before. Try this: "Yesterday was amazing. I've discovered that my efforts have been hampered by weird development as a kid but now that I can work on it, I've expanded my performance horizons in ways I can't even imagine yet."
Good for you, dude. This isn't a competition of who has the more fucked up body.
I think "Cry me a fuckin' river" was not meant to be a statement of contest, so much as suggesting a perspective. That said, both kb's response and your reaction had me cackling.
It's really grating because I'm already going to the gym 2x-3x a week, doing some exercises at home 5x a week, and, you know, have been strength training for over a year now. Because that's my only option. Saying "cry me a fuckin' river" assumes I'm not already or haven't already been trying to work through this shit. I am working hard at this, and already realize I have to work harder than most people to achieve similar results.
Look kleinbl00 was harsh in diction, but nobody here is actually trying to put you down. Anyone can tell from your post that you're working hard and care about your progress.
You would both lose, my body is fucked and I can't even bury my sorrow in gluten filled baked goods. I know that feeling though of being stuck. This is the best descriptions of what I see when I drive or as I more recently found out snowboard at a decent speed. Only difference is it's more grey/white and my eyes are open. http://visualsnowsyndrome.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/120px-Closed-eye-visualization.gif Just click it I don't know how to do this stupid picture shit. I'll figure out a way around it just like I found ice climbing when I couldn't do regular rock climbing. You'll find a way to overcome whatever problem you've got.
I had a long conversion with a good friend about being told as children that we could do anything if we worked hard enough and then being disappointed as adults when things don't pan out. I really like and agree with your optimistic twist. There was never anything I could have done to be an Olympic marathoner. There was no wrong choice in my past, no lack of motivation. I just don't have the physiology. The "you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it" mantra can make physiology feel like a personal failing, but it isn't. Understanding I have limits and knowing it's ok to have those limits really helps.
I had an epiphany maybe three, maybe for years ago. I was running, as always. Up the dune, as always. A mile into my 3-4 mile run, as always, same as it ever was, as I have been doing since 1988. This dude smoked me. Trotted right on by like I was standing still. Made me feel like shit. Then I thought about it and realized that I was old enough to be his dad. I'd been running longer than he'd been alive. I was faster when I was younger. But I'm still going. I'm doing pretty goddamn well, thankyouverymuch, and all the shit that holds me back isn't bad enough to hold me back much. I'm healthier than my parents were at my age; I'm healthier than my grandparents were at my age, I'm healthier than my friends at my age. I'll take it. In the end, we're only competing with ourselves, and we only get to win until we lose. I'll take every win I can get.
Yeah, see, and to WanderingEng too, I never really learned how to maybe healthily compete with myself. It's part of why I like running so much, or going on bigger and longer adventures outdoors, to see what I can do. I don't really accept limitations of my body, and instead try to push through and figure out how to strengthen myself to push the limit further and further from where it's been in the past. But it also becomes a not being okay to have limits mindset. Anyway, I'm running to the gym tonight.
I know. And that's why I refuse to humor you. The difference between being glum about a physiological limitation or not being glum about a physiological limitation is glumness. Worse, the worse your attitude the worse your hormonal and chemical balance. The more you act like a little bitch, the longer you will be a little bitch, the harder it will be to not be a little bitch... physiologically. Toughen the fuck up. Not because I think less of you but because your strongest ally in this is yourself and you sell yourself short at the drop of a hat.
Aaaaaaaaaaand this is why Hubski is the community I choose to stick around...
My morning giggle. Thanks steve. Damn - when are we going to giggle face to face. Speaking of toughening up, I just wrote a workshop called: Against Entropy: Building Resilience for an Uncertain Future. (New Subtitle: Toughen the fuck up for an uncertain future.) I have to go do this workshop NOW, in another city. Just leaving the house will toughen me up. SNOW SNOW SNOW. I have four ways for building resilience (and just added a section subtitle: Toughen the fuck up when times are good so you can get through the crises when times are bad. and mknod I have improv exercises between every section. So the workshop is for women scientists. My topics include embrace ambiguity - I wonder how that will fly. That's where improv comes in, since you never know what's going to happen in improv (if you're doing it right). I wrote this: Embrace Ambiguity: The more attached we are to outcomes, the harder it is to recover from setbacks. I made that up. I'm guessing it's true, but I'd need kleinbl00 to confirm. This workshop will toughen me the fuck up. It's been too easy for me since I recovered from HURRICANE IRMA. Ha ha, there's a hurricane around every corner.
Personal limits can be pushed. They should be pushed. It isn't about accepting limits, it's about understanding where they are and working to push them. That's where kleinbl00's positive spin on your post, the italicized bit in his first reply, fits. You're already doing the right things, and approaching them more positively can be really good. It isn't about dejectedly accepting limits, it's being optimistic at understanding them and knowing you can work on pushing them. It doesn't matter if others don't have to do the same. They have their own limits and work to push them, regardless of how that limit compares to yours. You can push limits.
School Work on the textbook progresses inexorably...I'm just about done with the content, but then I have to edit, index, write a glossary, make a website, convert the book to HTML, polish up examples, and figure out details of publishing it. One step at a time, I suppose. Some friends and I developed a tool called Assigner for managing homework submissions. About 4 or 5 classes now use it! It's nice to realize that I've managed to effect long-discussed change in a department. (Less nice that it's not my department anymore, and frustrating to realize that it's not the faculty doing it.) Got a rejection on a conference paper I submitted. I was expecting a rejection, so it wasn't a surprise, but it's still kind of a bummer. One reviewer was very thorough, though, so I think things will be better for it. Have any of y'all put anything on Arxiv.org? I've got a journal paper that's been stuck in submission since 2015 and I'd really like to be able to drop a preprint somewhere without making IEEE mad at me. Chickens Last week Hank got sick and spent the day sitting on the couch with me. She's back to her normal self now, though! We've trained her to hop up on our arms and eat snacks and she's getting really good at it! Annie's got a cut on her head; she can't see well, so she might have banged it on something or maybe one of the other birds was bullying her. Either way, she's living inside now until it heals up. She seems to be enjoying her stay so far:
You a teacher, lm? Any advice for an aspirer?
Too much to write in one comment, but in general, the best thing you can do is care about the topic and your students. They can tell if you care, and I find that being passionate helps motivate people to learn stuff they might otherwise not enjoy. Anything in particular you want advice/insight on? I'm happy to answer questions!
Thanks! What was it like to first enter the classroom? What was your first impression of your students? Did it change as you got to know them? What was it like to finish the first day of teaching?
First time was pretty nervewracking, and I still get anxious before teaching, although once I get into the swing of things I calm down. My first day I learned an important lesson: performance anxiety is real. I was doing some basic probability analysis that I figured I could do off the top of my head and made an absolute mess of it and had to start over! So now I make sure that regardless of how much time I have to prep I make notes that feature fully-worked examples and exactly-worded definitions. (Much of the time my notes are just that and I can do the motivation and exposition bits off the cuff.) I was only a couple years older than most of my students when I started and I was concerned that they'd doubt my knowledge and argue about stupid stuff, but that turned out to be entirely wrong. I'd given plenty of presentations in classes before, so I was at least a little used to standing in front of a classroom, but teaching felt different because the students were really paying attention to what I was saying for a change. Definitely a sobering moment when you realize you could say just about anything and a room of 50 people would just take your word for it! A lot of my students have been very smart, and I really love the oddball questions they come up with, even if I don't always know how to answer them. Teaching takes a lot out of you--even though I don't feel tired while I'm in the classroom, I pretty much have to schedule a half hour or so after class to sit and drink coffee and do mindless tasks because I need a bit of time to mentally recover.
What is it that you get nervous about before classes? When I think of failing my students, the reason is always being unable to convey the knowledge that I have; that I'd get flustered and wouldn't know how to say it so they'd understand. I know I'm good at using my knowledge. I feel like I can't be sure unless I give it shot whether I'm good at sharing it. And, if you don't mind, I'll reply to your second comment here, as well. I'd like to get into teaching in a uni or a similar higher-education facility because I find it easier to work with more mature people, mentally. I'm not sure if my degree would allow for it, so I aim at high-school level. Any advice on dealing with teenagers? The caveats, the ways to interest them?.. I know I'm getting that from the future courses, but I'd also like some experience from the field itself.
I think it's just general public speaking anxiety but I haven't thought too much about it since I usually am busy prepping right before and so long as I don't just sit there and think about my feelings I can keep calm. Sharing knowledge is absolutely a learned skill. If you can, get involved with tutoring as soon as possible, even if it's just informal hanging-out-in-a-department-lounge-and-talking-to-other-students tutoring. You get one-on-one time with students and most of them are comfortable saying that they have no idea what you mean by what you just said. It'll help you develop the ability to explain the same idea a bunch of different ways. I'm a grad student so I just teach college students, which has a couple of advantages: they're (slightly) more mature than teenagers, and they're in school to some extent because they want to be there. So, I can't speak to dealing with teenagers in particular. I mostly teach math and programming. I like to motivate material by introducing a question students don't have the tool to answer yet or by drawing analogy to something they already know about (e.g. when talking about rational expressions I'll start by talking about how polynomials kind of-sort of behave like integers, point out that we can make fractions from integers, and then get in to how rational expressions work). Another thing that's fun to do is to talk about the history around an idea -- who made it, what were they trying to do, why is it the way that it is, etc. People like stories and having a little narrative to go along with an idea helps them remember it better and might even help them see the bigger picture. Just about anyone can read Wikipedia and get factual knowledge on a topic -- it's your ability to provide context and build relationships with other ideas that is really valuable to students. Jokes and terrible puns are also great!
The new Adirondack 46er numbers are posted, including mine. Each finisher (that registers) gets a roster number. Does the number change anything? No. But does it feel good? Oh yeah. There was a pretty serious rescue last week. Hopefully more details come out, but it looks like they carried the injured hiker all the way out. Call to rescue was 37 hours with 34 rangers and 12 volunteers responding. There are some infamous cliffs there that I've actively avoided. I will continue to avoid them.
EXCUSE ME I NOW HAVE A VALENTINES DATE WITH A GUY WHOM, WHEN I ASKED HIM IF HE MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP ME WITH A FEW FIXIT HOUSE THINGS LAST NIGHT (I offered repayment via making him dinner or cash or whatever, he’s a friend but you gotta say thank you for this sort of stuff) RESPONDED BY ASKING FOR MY ADDRESS AND SHOWING UP TO HELP CLEAN GROATY STUFF LIKE MY SHOWER DRAIN WITHIN A HALF HOUR. I fed him short rib and we asked each other what (in life) we were afraid of. Among other things He let me pick the movie for v-day (because what I really wanted to do was have him take me shooting/teach me how to shoot - what can I say I’m quite romantic but I have a rather warped sense of what’s romance) and we finna see I Tonya which I’ve wanted to see forever and yaayyyyyyyyyy I just figured, I mean, if I didn’t see what he was doing on the 14th I knew I’d be alone. And I don’t do the chocolates and roses thing and I don’t need the fancy dinner or etc, this is after all a second date and I’m aimkng for low pressure. So I put it out there. And I’m so pleased he’s not being weird about it being Valentine’s Day and “super meaningful” or whatever. Like, it’s just Valentine’s Day. And if we didn’t hang out we’d probably both just be alone and feel it. So why not enjoy a good time together and not overthink or buy into the “significance” of the holiday, as if to go out ok Valentine’s Day indicates a level of super serious coupledom when really...we can just have a fun time while also not pointedly spending the holiday alone? Also, fam, attest to the wonder that was me, openly asking another person for help, and not trying to prove I can do everything on my own without you thankyouverymuch. I actually like “let a man be a man”, which is a ridiculous concept but I did it. See. Only 95% of guys can report finding me “emasculating” now, after this. Did anyone hear a crashing sound? I think that was that chip...that used to be in my shoulder... ;) :D
I always look forward to Hubski but I never remember what to talk about when it comes around. I have a promo video for music stuff, which is meant to be a prelude to a full video, but to finish it I need to get a proper license for Premiere Pro. My trial expired :( I also haven't had a proper day off in two weeks, so I'd really like to have a weekend this time around.
I started a 72 hour fast with thenewgreen and ecib last night. My reward is a week in Hawaii. My mom is there, and we are going to visit. In SF atm for Forever Labs. Been struggling through Wuthering Heights. Almost done. It’s a biography of insane people who live too close to each other.
How did the fast go? I’ve been doing a few 24hr fasts lately, but I’ve found I need some comeaderie for the longer ones. My wife did 2 of 3 days with me last time and determined she REALLY didn’t want to do it again. So let me know when you’re starting the next time around.
After some talks with our landlords, it looks like we'll be getting a dog! I grew up with shelties and would love to have another. This'll be the wife's first dog of her dear personal own, and her anticipation is palpable. We couldn't be more excited. I (and I imagine most people are) am a happier person when I have a dog.
Hey thanks! Maybe some future pubski post of mine will include a bit of animal life color :) RE: your job search and finding gratifying employment, I saw this video a while ago and was struck by the simple beauty of "something with my hands, like locksmith, arborist, plumber, etc." for the first time in a while. In this case, your "etc" was my "baker", but I feel you on a fundamental level. Don't give up on fulfillment. Keep us updated on how you're doing.
I decided to regularly start wearing the glasses I was prescribed roughly 2 years ago that I gave up on so when I see another optometrist I can tell them how that went. It's been really tripping me out, I keep getting irritated that I would 100% be able to see something without the glasses but realizing when I take them off that it really is to dark to see. I also realized at work today that I haven't walked into anything, or smashed a glass into something else in my peripheral vision. Then there was filling the water pitchers which is always the worst because they never look as full at eye level as the do when I'm filling them in the sink so I have to put it back like 3 times. Even that didn't happen and I just thought there was some weird explanation for why that happened. They don't fix the whole problem but they do help a little which is exciting. Hopefully I can get set up with an optometrist who can fix a little more of the problem without having to drive 2+ hours. Edit: I finally found a little gif that looks close enough to my major vision problem that I don't have to sound like a crazy person trying to describe something whoaaaa. Happy fucking Wednesday.
A vulture and a flower. Hermit hiding behind a boulder in front of a door. This is that picture I was telling mk about in last week’s Pubski where I was using the Wikimedia image of a mine for reference. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1f/Canis_lupus_dingo_-_cleland_wildlife_park.JPG/1024px-Canis_lupus_dingo_-_cleland_wildlife_park.JPG Gonna try to draw this guy later today, minimal lines, only using one shade each of brown, green, grey, and black. Threw away my first empty Sharpie marker yesterday. The grey one. Fortunately Dala had bought me a 24 pack as a gift a while back so I had a spare in waiting. Feels like I hit a milestone though. I think I’m gonna go back to school for Logistics. I’m gonna call a counselor on Friday and see what I can set up. Skipping work today. I wish I could skip that place forever.
Thanks! I'm experimenting with some minimal line drawings/sketchings/Idon'tfuckingknow and liking how they're turning out and I've always been in love with that picture, so I'm gonna give it a shot. As for work? It's pretty much a continuation of this . . . Except things keep getting worse and worse. The amount of stress there is balls crazy at this point. It's pretty fucked up. Hence, going back to school.
I forget the exact name of the program, but it covers logistics such as tracking inventory/purchasing/shipping etc., freight schedules, all that kind of stuff. I did a lot of looking last night on Indeed and it seems like the requirements and job responsibilities are all over the spectrum, but I've found stuff in everything from warehousing to freight companies to hospitals to construction to non-profits. I figure worse comes to worse and I can't get a job in something that the school actually covers, I'll at least pick up a few new things to help me land something.
KB tagged me, because I work for a company that does some stuff like that. Because I don't want to out my hubski profile and actual name publicly, this is one of our competitors: https://www.telogis.com/ ---- So logistics is a REALLY interesting field to get in to, and it has a lot of different aspects to keep anyone interested: 1. Technology. GPS. GSM. Remote sensors. Cloud data systems. Cellular data transmission and networks. IoT. 2. Software. Especially analytics. Big data analysis. Feeding enormous amounts of sensor data into a smart algorithm, and getting insights into all sorts of operational and actionable data. And again, IoT. 3. Probability, Statistics, and Other Big Math. Selecting the optimum route for a truck, taking into account many variables, including low bridge heights, hazardous materials transport, load size, multiple customer loads in a single truck (optimal load/unload order), meeting complex government regulatory requirements (Hours of Service, ELD, etc.), and then adding fuel cost, drive time, wear and tear on the vehicle, all together to determine optimal route/load efficiency. 4. Customer Service. The most responsive and reliable carrier gets the work. How do you consistently amaze your customers, so you can continue to get their work? 5. Safety. Trucking and shipping can be incredibly dangerous, and ensuring that the equipment is safe and reliable, and the drivers are operating them responsibly, is all a part of making our roads safer. Two 747's worth of people die on American roads every month. Freight logistics/planning, and safety systems are an important part of lowering that number. --- So yeah. Go work for them. Find out what they do. Dig in to it. Talk to the people who are passionate about the job/work/company, and why they are motivated to come into the office every day. I never thought of a job like this for myself. And I am very happy.
Yeah. I'm gonna call a counselor later this week to set an appointment for next week to see about starting classes. One of the really cool things, puttering around Indeed last night, was to see that there are so many levels you can go with these kinds of things in so many industries. If I can do this, and find a way to be versatile, it'll probably reduce the concerns of future job security because I should be able to find something somewhere, automation or economic hiccups or no.
What do you actually want though ? I just got to a point in life where I'm comfortable going bigger with school and honestly I wish I didn't waste my time making compromises on what I really wanted for so long. Edit: I have no fucking idea what I want. I'll at least pick up a few new things to help me land something.
Well, for the past two months or so I've been daydreaming about getting let go from my job so I could have an excuse to go to the local food pantry and help out three or four days out of the week. So there's a big clue right there. I'd love a job where I can do something with my hands, like locksmith, arborist, plumber, etc. but unfortunately I can't do heavy lifting for medical reasons, so as much as I really wish and day dream about it, it's not gonna happen. Honestly? It's not even about the money. I just want a job that's A) satisfying, B) productive to society, and C) at a place where I don't get treated like crap. Better pay would be nice. Some social prestige would be welcome. But those are secondary desires.
You get to tinker with stuff as a dental hygienist (teeth) without heavy lifting and that's a skill you could use to help people who don't have access to dental care if you get set up with the right people. I looked into that at one point and I'm pretty sure it's a community college degree.
Rarely fall asleep in class-- it's standard for kids to get up and stand in the back if they're falling asleep-- but I was out cold in Persian today. I'm getting worried about the fact that caffeine and nicotine dominate as my sources of energy, since sleep is scarce and the nicotine tends to kill my appetite combined with the high amount of time and money required to secure a "good" meal here. Basically I'm being a giant bitch. The main 3 reasons I'm being a giant bitch is the peak of pre-midterm academic workload, some administrative and disciplinary issues due to me being tired (being inattentive about stuff or not being on time to something are both big no-no's), and this relationship I accidentally entered a few weeks ago that I have not quite been able to end despite my best efforts. My main takeaways are to find a new and effective source of energy (Change my workout? Try swimming since the gym's pool is freezing? Meth?) and mitigate the emotional toll I put on myself for being shitty. Also, I would genuinely give up 2 months stipend at this point to magically wake up and kick nicotine. I just don't have the willpower at the moment. Fun fact: Pubski is dope because it encourages you to put your thoughts into words, which helps your thoughts be better!
Actual exchange I had with a coworker: "What's up, galen? You seem off" "Eh I'm fine, just tired." "Ah ok. Want some crank? Wake you right up." "... no thanks, man, I'm good." "Ok!" [disappears into the back room for a few minutes](Change my workout? Try swimming since the gym's pool is freezing? Meth?)
Eggs and bananas get me through the rough times. Also frozen burritos. There are times to eat well and then there are times to just eat. Caffeine and nicotine do not give you energy. This is important to internalize. They let you borrow energy from your near-future self. They are like a credit card for your metabolism, giving you an advance on the consciousness that you're running out of. They do not actually put any money back in the bank.
I don't know where I would be without PB&J with a sliced banana in, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch is my reason for getting up in the morning. I'm a big fan of the little things. Of course you're right about the credit analogy for these substances. It's the ease of access to the short-term solution without planning recovery that compounds the problem.
Big time. Dated a girl whose dad and grandad were both psychoanalysts. Grandad, to get dad through med school, gave him a couple bottles of Dexedrine to keep him up and a couple bottles of Thorazine for when he had too much Dexedrine. Dude was fucked up even like 20 years later. Not sure it was the drugs but the story is better if it was.
I don't even want to think about the bonafide culture of ADHD medication abuse in post-secondary education and even high school. Fuck all that shit, even if it helps you cram for a class. ADHD diagnosis should require a fucking month-long study of your living habits or something, and parental input should be disregarded by default.
Here's what helps my energy level: go to bed an hour earlier. Whatever time you go to bed now, move it up an hour.
You learn about yourself because you have to transmit what's on your mind — an intangible — into tangible. It's the reason planning works: you get to see exactly what you're up against, which dispels fear of uncertainty. Journaling would have the same effect. It also lets you talk to yourself about something you can only keep private.Pubski is dope because it encourages you to put your thoughts into words, which helps your thoughts be better!
Yeah that's something I ought to keep in mind. Extracurricular dialog in any form apart from small talk and gossip (who got caught drinking in the barracks this week?) is stifled at my school. The consequences don't really present themselves in an obvious way.
You're in, uh... pardon my ignorance... military school? I would think the military would encourage camaraderie.
Yeah, teamwork matters when you have a mission to accomplish. When it's time to "Army" everyone is there for each other. But when it's time to "University," not so much. Our class rank determines a big part of our career, including the branch of the Army we are assigned, and our first post upon graduating, from Italy and hawaii all the way down to Alaska. Before graduation, our "order of merit" dictates who gets to seize opportunities like internships, study abroad programs, military specialty schools like Ranger, Sapper, and Airborne, and the positions of leadership within the Academy that go all the way to First Captain at the top of a 4,300-strong Corps. So, given the pressure, there is not a lot of incentive to sit down in the library and discuss existentialism over coffee. It makes the friends you choose that much more important. The other most contributing factor on the lack of dialog is the professionalism side of things, where discussing religious, political, and sexual matters in uniform or with other cadets may not fare well for unit cohesion in the short-term.
I hear you. Performance is important, and so is team spirit. Still. Soul is important. Maybe the higher-ups want a husk with skills in firearms, but I imagine that you want to be alive, not just living.
Hah, you're telling me. I spend a lot of my time on the internet browsing art, music and fashion because it's the opposite of my actual life :D Although my appreciation for precision and turning chaos into black-and-white formula has grown a lot.I imagine that you want to be alive, not just living.
I'm guessing "opposite" here does not mean "being opposed to".
Sorry to hear that your favorite exercise regimen got the axe. I hope you can get up on that stationary bike without much trouble. Seriously, stationary biking was made for video gaming. What else are you going to do with your hands? It's interesting they chose to put you on piracetam, that's the first I've ever heard of noots being used for cardio purposes. Keep kicking ass, Ping-UIN or otherwise.
My countdown timer says I get to go home in 19 days. I am looking forward to this because I am not a fan of Los Angeles, a fan of living away from my family, or a fan of fucking 80 degrees in February. On the plus side, it turns out the burning, dismembered dead corpse left in my neighborhood wasn't made here, it was hauled here on the subway in a suitcase. So. Not so much a place where someone chops you up and sets you on fire, but a place where people feel comfortable dumping their dead bodies and setting them on fire. Better the latter way. When they described who the homeless thought the body was, I knew who they were talking about. Yesterday I signed up for two more classes in guilloche. That's a $1300 investment in a technique that's really only useful for very, very, very specialized jewelry making. A Rose Engine for my own will cost me $10k minimum. Starting to feel real.
I've made progress in some ways by more consciously acknowledging that my brain is wonky. I've stopped saying "I feel bad because [this thing happened in my life or this this missing]," and just acknowledged that "I feel bad because I'm currently wired to do so." It helps avoid tying myself into knots. I'm finding antidepressants kind of annoying for this first week, which I think is to be expected. I've definitely felt less weight on my mood, but I've also felt devoid of much else. Very flat, but there's still stuff floating around in there if I look hard enough. My career remains a dead end. I didn't score high enough on the situational judgment + work history testing nonsense that would've led to possibly getting something much better, and at this point I have 0 prospects. For that matter, I'm not even really sure what I'd be qualified for. I coasted for so much of my life that I don't feel like I ever really developed anything that would allow me to stand out. Plus I hate marketing myself with a passion. On a related note, I'd like to do more to get more students, but haven't really found anything that makes sense. I dislike the things that one basically has to do in order to be successful in the business world, and certainly don't have the budget to hire someone else. So I remain pretty stuck.
Not surprisingly, It is pretty hard to track down information about some former members of Saddam Hussein's Iraqi regime. But I tried this week. Since the Gulf War I have occasionally thought about a girl I went to university with. We sat next to each other in a few classes and started talking one day after I saw her being dropped off in a stretch limo. She wore a headscarf but was completely Western. Her father was a diplomat and she had gone to primary school in London when he was posted there, then high school in D.C. and Ottawa for university where he was the Ambassador. We became fairly close even though we never saw each other off campus. We spent time together a few days a week for a couple of years. Obviously her father must have been a trusted member of Saddam's inner circle. But I believe he defected with his family in London after the Gulf War. I have found absolutely no information about the family after this. Were they granted political asylum in London? Or elsewhere? Did he have millions stashed somewhere? What happened to my friend? I will never know.
I brought my laptop and stuff home from work yesterday because there was a chance of freezing rain, so if it stuck to the roads I could work from home while it melted and come in at lunch. Normal procedure at this job. So this morning I got ready like normal and didn't realize I left the laptop and badge at home until I got there and had to go back for them. So this morning sucked. At least there wasn't much important happening this morning. The only coworker it might have mattered to laughed his ass off, so I guess I'm lucky.
Binging on Designated Survivor for the last two days did my sleep no good. Noon is very much too late to wake up at. It's an exciting series with good characters, though. Haven't moved out yet. Haven't looked for an apartment since last Wednesday, either: taking care of the post-repair garbage and throwing old furniture away is a slow and tender process for me. I'm guided by the sense of obligation rather than interest in my well-being, even though I can barely find it in me to care about the apartment anymore. Frankly, I like how it turned out after the clean-up. Almost makes me want to consider not leaving. Took apart a rack and made myself a poor man's Kendo sword. It's probably fragile. I'll see if I get to test that soon. Need some sort of a decorative tape to distinguish the handle. Started Hubski comment redesign, following a point mentioned by Devac: comments on Hubski can get big and clumsy. I have an idea on how to solve it. Expect noticable changes. Have to say, though: Hubski's HTML markup — the code that makes the page structure — sucks. No clue why it even compiles. Wading through the miserable field took a couple hours just to make it workable. If there's to be a upgrade, it would have to start from HTML. ROSA and writing Found out that the two worlds I was going to merge are incompatible. One's pure fantasy, another's down-to-earth story. That said, the fantasy aspect of it — and my recent romance with Tyranny — gave me an idea on what to make of the first, not-Rosa fantasy story. My problem is — I have decent characters and cool settings in my head but can rarely make the plot work. I figure out cool persons and then try to figure out how to fit them in. It's why plots take so damn long. I think it's because I can rarely relate to most characters. There's one character I understand, and he's just about me in different circumstances. That said, I've figured out the premise for Rosa. It's dope. Figuring out Rosa, herself. She's cool. MUSIC Four Favorite Songs, 2018: - Nightingale / December Song, Sunset Rubdown - You Let Yourself Down, Rollins Band - Get Some Go Again, Rollins Band - How Deep is the Ocean, Eric Clapton One day, I hope to partake in something like this: Also:
i went to the doctor earlier today and it turns out i partially tore a tendon in my elbow - happened monday alright