I enjoyed reading this. I come from a long line of men that take great pleasure in talking at length to telephone solicitors, only to reveal at the end that they have zero interest. My father will feign enthusiasm for up to 10 minutes, "Surely you jest, there's no way I could save that much money on my electric bill...". And then end the call saying "We're actually quakers and we don't use electricity". Or something equally as ridiculous. Recently I've been getting the phone call saying that they have "important information on one of my credit cards". Then they go on to tell me that "You qualify to have your interest rate reduced by blah, blah, blah". They want to get you in to a new credit card program. It's shameful. If you ever get this call just say "I only carry American Express". They'll hang up.
I like to string em along for a bit until it's seal the deal time. I then tell them that I only do business with Christians and try to get them to swear by the Lord God Our Father to increasingly ridiculous and vaguely offensive things (you would be suprised how far they will go for a sale). Or sometimes I just ask em what they are wearing and see if I can get it a little steamy (this never goes anywhere).
Did you not read the recent Hubski post on "I had phone sex with a chick for a year and then met her". I won't spoil it but you could totally pull it off.
"Or sometimes I just ask em what they are wearing and see if I can get it a little steamy (this never goes anywhere)". How far would you be willing to take that though? It would be funny if the guy on the phone turned it around on you and you were the uncomfortable one. These examples of fucking with the telemarketers are all funny and most of us have done it but lets not forget that its a really shitty job and doesn't pay dick. Also, what are you wearing?
I'm wearing a three piece suit, the jacket is made of silk, touch it, it's soft isn't it? You're right, it is getting a little hot in here, lets take it off. You're right, this shirt doesn't fit me that well any more, I've been working out, putting on some muscle. Will you help me with this top button it hard to undo now that I'm so big. Thank you yes they are big and hard, I'm so glad you noticed, I've been working on my shoulders, but how about your shoulders? They seem tense, let me help work that out for you. You smell nice, what are your wearing? Oh very classy, most people don't even bother, don't even think about the sensualness of a man/womans smell, but I could tell right away that you did....