Yes. Does the whole book change your life? No, probably never, unless you're extremely naive. But I've read plenty of self help books, and they do help. In almost every one I've read, there's always at least a couple of takeaways, or statements that make me think long and hard about my own life, and pinpoint what I'm doing wrong or right. I wasn't into them at first, but there was a period in my life where I was like "can't make things WORSE by reading some self help books", and I ended up being pleasantly surprised. To name a few on my shelf that are well known: -Think and Grow Rich. (Classic) -How to Win Friends and Influence People. (Classic) -The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. To name a few on my book shelf that are NOT well known: -The Power of Focus. -Optimal Thinking. -The Rules of Life. -The Power of Now. (I noticed TNG also mentioned this one) -The Wisdom of Insecurity (Alan Watts, Zen writer, and Zen approach to helping yourself, awesome.) -The Book (Alan Watts again, more Zen focused, awesome.) -The Way of Zen (Alan Watts again...) And plenty more that I don't have on my shelf that I read from the library. So, are any of these a silver bullet? No, not really, but they all had certain things that I took away from them, even if it was a single powerful quote that really struck home with me, it was worth it. I also find reading in general to be "self help". I've learned plenty about myself just from reading Vonnegut or F. Scott Fitzgerald books. But if I had to pick a few that had the biggest influence on me, I'd pick the Alan Watts books I mentioned. They are mostly books about Zen Buddhism, but at the same time I'd consider them self help books, because at the end of the day, they are about a "better" way to approach life and keep your thoughts focused. He really opened my eyes up to such a novel way of viewing and approaching life, that it has indeed changed my life and the way I live it.
What is it about Alan Watts' writing that interests you? I ask because a friend has been having . . . I think he's too young for a "mid-life crisis" but he's going through something. He's going bananas with yoga and all kinds of writings related to zen, particularly Alan Watts and who-knows-what-else, but it's gotten to the point where I've been thinking about my own experiences with Buddhism. I am hesitant to read the books he recommends though, because honestly, from the outside it looks like he's losing his mind.
Hah. Been there done that. People said the same thing about me around the time I started reading Watts, but it wasn't just Watts. I was lost and looking for some answers, somewhere in my early to mid twenties. I called it a "quarter life crisis". Turns out Watts didn't have any answers, but he told me there probably never will be any, and that I should just enjoy what's what, and that the answers aren't really important anyway... but in a much more eloquent and lengthy way. I started shaving my head around that time, meditating, and I even have a tiny shrine with a Buddha and a water dish and all that jazz. I had some friends who probably though I was losing it, but honestly I was "finding it". I'm not religious at all and consider myself agnostic, but Buddhism gives me something to kind of focus on, and help hone my thoughts and keep myself on the path that I want to be on.because honestly, from the outside it looks like he's losing his mind.
Hmm. I think I can understand that. My friend is 39 though, so maybe a "quarter life crisis." He seems really attached to the idea of no attachments, even though he just bought a house and is doing renovations himself. I don't know what it is about engineers, but the ones I know seem to think they can fix anything. If I've learned anything from him, it's not true. Anyway, his idea of no attachments results in him pissing a bunch of people off when he tells them not to care about what are to them, very real problems. This in turn, makes him feel alienated, or so he's said to me. In the interest of helping my buddy out, any ideas on any self-help type books that might help him appreciate the human tendency toward giving a shit about things?
Sounds like he might have taken Buddhism and Watts horribly wrong, lol. It has little to do with not caring. The only things you are not supposed to care about and really avoid are things that lead to pain and suffering, and those are entirely personal things that people need to assess for themselves. Watts is far from telling people off, or "not giving a fuck". It's more like "Give a fuck, but don't give a fuck about the future, give a fuck about the now, and the future will unfold good as a result". If anything it promotes kindness to all; friends, family, those in your community, and even strangers. If he's pissing people off, and read Watts, I'd say he misinterpreted it entirely and missed the points of his teachings, and those of Zen Buddhism. No attachments also isn't very Buddhist, sure, again, attachments that lead to pain and suffering need to be eliminated, but good attachments should be nurtured. Hobbies, your routines, your home, your family, your friends, etc. Things in your immediate present than are meaningful and bring rewards to your own life. I have no recommendations, because I think he would probably just interpret anything else helpful to suit his already odd attitude towards life and others. Nobody likes the "I don't give a fuck about anything" guy. More than likely he's that guy just pretending he doesn't care because he thinks not giving a fuck is cool... but it's not.Anyway, his idea of no attachments results in him pissing a bunch of people off when he tells them not to care about what are to them, very real problems.
In the interest of helping my buddy out, any ideas on any self-help type books that might help him appreciate the human tendency toward giving a shit about things?
Thanks for the list. I have a book called Focussing (in another city). I wonder if its the same book as The Power of Focus. I have a friend who was very much helped by the Seven Habits.
Dale Carnegie was right in 1936 and he's still right. Amazing book.
Tolle is very good for reducing anxiety (about the future) and despair (about the past). I'll have to dig out my Alan Watts... it's been a while since I read that -- but I remember agreeing with his perspective.