Let's start a riot!
There are things that get under the skin of some people more than most, and there are things that might not be a big deal to some people, but really gets others pissed. For the record, I will be following this up with an interesting question on a very positive note :)
So, Hubski, what gets you mad? What cant you stand? To further the question, what will you take a stand for? Even against friends and family? This can be anywhere from pencil tapping to wire tapping.
Shameless plug: Follow #vaguequestionsbypablo for near-daily questions to bring Hubski together. Equivocacy guaranteed. Shouts to delta for contributing a great post as well, it ain't just me here!
Condescending people. People who talk down to you. People on power trips. This happened in my design class today. I arrive at class knowing that we had a "guest speaker" from Art Center (a expensive design college near me) who was going to talk about portfolios etc. While this might be valuable to the 18-20 year olds in my class who don't have a clue what they want to do, I wasn't that into it. But I figured it would be cool to meet some of the current Art Center students and expand my network of designer acquaintances. Maybe get some good crit on my work. So there I was. 5 minutes after class has started, fresh from work, I'm scarfing down my Taco Bell quesadilla and drink, having already posted my work on the wall and discussing one of my classmate's work. One of the Art Center kids starts coming around and in the most rude, condescending way tells everyone that what they are doing is absolutely unACCeptable! Literally, every single person was somehow doing something wrong. Typically, we have until 3:15 or even 3:30 to get our work on the wall. During that time we all talk about the assignment and get clarification. It's loud, disorganized and at 3:15 when our professor walks in, it gets more organized. Today it went like this: "Why isn't your work up? It's 3:05! Is that going on the board? If it isn't up there it's not graded! Period! End of conversation! You can kiss that "A" goodbye!" (to a Korean girl who takes a few seconds to understand and reply to anything) "What is this? Are these your roughs?" stares intensely at her "Huh? What.....Are......These.......?" "You - don't have your drink on the table! What do you think this is? Preschool? You think your professor is going to let you have your drink on your desk when you get to real college?" Having attended "real college" I can safely say the only time my professor has cared about what was on our desk was in the computer lab because sticky soda + expensive computers don't mix. This guy was probably 20 years old and on the largest power trip of his life. So, when he singled me out for having my drink on the table, I told him to go fuck himself. He looked stunned and said "We have a guest speaker...she deserves respect!" To which I said, "I respect her. I don't respect you." and then packed my shit and left. Fuck that. Fuck everything about this guy. He has two years of a fuck all expensive university under his belt and thinks he's made of gold when he's in a pack of community college kids. I hope he never gets hired and that 200k can go down the toilet while he begs for money in his hipster skinny jeans. I take this class to learn, grow, and meet new people. I don't take it to be blasted by someone or waste my time watching someone kick and scream. I don't have the time or patience for that bullshit.
Amen, Hallelujah, and Fuck Yeah. This was the most satisfying thing I've read in a while, man. good on you for taking a stand.
I'm a very calm and measured dude, but when people don't give the hand wave after I do something nice for you on the road, they're dead to me. It's just one of those things. I usually disagree with most drivers when they have that panicked, "alright YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE" just for drifting a little or something minor (we all make little mistakes on the road). But if I let you pass on a narrow street by pulling to the side and you don't wave to me -- fuck you, dude. Fuck you. You obviously saw me make moves for you, and I'm resting my hand in the wave position on the wheel, so you see that, too. It's a sign of sociopathy to me.
After a while people don't even bother taking the steps you do to show some empathy, because they've been screwed over like that one too many times. Sad world :(
I had this happen recently. I'm kind to everyone, no matter what, even if I deplore everything you are with every bit of me. Even if I hate you, there's a chance you'll be useful to me at some point, and burning bridges is never a good plan. To get me to hate you is a feat in and of itself; I'm incredibly collected in all social forms Except If you treat somebody in a service position as a lesser person, I swear to all that is good that I will make it my personal crusade to tear you down in every way imaginable. Talk to your waiter like a servant, or an animal? Refuse to say 'please' and 'thank you'? Yell and scream because you get a power rush since whoever they are can't make a rebuttal for fear of losing their probably dreadful, minimum wage, back-breaking job? Or the one that actually happened recently, scream at the bus driver to stop like you own her because you have to pee, while on a privately chartered bus to sorority function? I will have your pin. I'm not even a girl, or in greek life.
just commenting to cackle about how well I have indoctrinated you into the lingo
This was great :DD I'm seeing a trend itt of perfectly nice, warm people who lose their shit at disrespect and inequality. Sounds just fair to me. I wonder why it doesn't bother the people who do it?? Edit: i'm not actually in wonder lol, some people just decide to be selfish, that suits them better than effort for empathy. I, for example, like to go out of my way to get someone to smile, but I can't quite stick a reason for it.
People being late or cancelling last minute. If it's a party, fine be fashionably late I don't mind. If it's only me and you going out for coffee, don't make me wait 35 minutes. Also, when people put words into my mouth. Even if they're just teasing.
I am pathologically early. mk and I were just talking about this. My wife likes to be right on time and it is really annoying. She likes to show up to the gate as the plane is boarding. Me? I'd rather show up with at least a 1/2 hour to spare. I despise the feeling of not knowing whether we will make it or not. The worst are weddings. Someone has put months of planning in to a single day and we stroll in just as the music is starting. -Not cool. As I mentioned in another comment here, when you are late, you are saying "my time is more valuable than yours," to whomever you've left waiting. It's bush league.
I'm the same; I'm always extremely early. My flatmates, for the most part, are those that will try to turn up on time, but don't really care if they're late, and I was starting to slack off on the whole early thing. Until some time recently (I don't actually remember what it was) I left at a time that would probably get me there on time instead of being early, and circumstances happened, and I ended up late. Felt horrible, and now I'm back to arriving at things really early. Hugely preferable.
I have a friend whose last name is Leat. Everyone jokes that it's an anagram for late because she is rarely on time and often quite late. Makes me wonder if her name contributed to this. When young, she no doubt heard people make this joke to her older siblings and parents and felt she had a legacy to live up to. I think being late is a power trip.
It's when somebody says things like "Well you said that Montreal is a perfect city without any corruption and great management". NO I DIDN'T SAY THAT! I never said anything like it! I said I love this city despite it's obvious flaws. I read the news and I'm not a moron. Don't put words in my mouth.
man, i hate that. it's aggravating. it's a sign that they think that they know what you're going to say. HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW?! don't assume things for me!
Casual arrogance, disrespect, pretentiousness, condescending ways, egocentrism. I know somebody who is the epitome of everything I listed. She is arrogant and outspoken and to save myself from going off on her, I ignore her. I just leave it. I say as little as possible and because she has such an extreme egocentric complex, she goes to my sister, asking what's wrong with me, and if I have social anxiety. No, I don't have social anxiety. This speaks volumes about her personality; she is so egocentric that her first impulse is to think that there is something wrong with another human being if they don't want to interact with her. She litters. Done with coffee? Throw the cup on the street. Done loading the car? Fuck it, leave it in the parking lot. She has absolutely zero respect for any other person and leaving the cart in the parking lot is a manifestation of that. It's not affecting her, although she's wildly inconviencing and disrespecting everybody else, but she doesn't give a shit. She's so self-centered she believes her arrogance is charming. That's fucking insane. She will deliberately and consciously impose herself onto you and anybody else and thinks it's adorable. At a dinner she was going off on how my her boyfriend hasn't proposed to her yet, and the expensive ring she expects. He got up and left out of uncomfort, and when he came back, she continues. She's condescending, and thinks she's so above everybody intellectually that nobody notices. She compares me to her "artistic cousin who nobody understands," because she thinks I've lost my way in life as I don't enjoy a conversation with her. The weirdest thing is, as fucking awful as she is, I'm indifferent to it, and I'm not sure why. She just happens to be someone that is the physical manifestation of everything in a person I don't like, and the perfect answer to this question.
It takes a lot of strength/composure for you to be able to not let it make you impulsive, so props. Out of curiosity, how does your bro feel about this? does he notice it? One of my best friends is in a similar situation where she often acts like she just does not care him, especially around other people. Somehow he knows this, but still does everything for her.She compares me to her "artistic brother who nobody understands," because she thinks I've lost my way in life as I don't enjoy a conversation with her.
aw fuck, I hate that! :S
It takes ALOT to make me angry, but hurt/bully animals and I'll lose it.
While I will concede that some sources of meat come from places where the animals are treated cruelly. -No doubt about it. There's a difference between someone that likes to eat cheeseburgers and a person that beats their dog or keeps an animal in a cage that they kick out of amusement. -These bastards exist. They're almost as bad as people that abuse/bully children. I agree with scrimetime, I don't tolerate such things. But I do enjoy a nice steak. There's a big difference.
I think I know what you mean, and I'm not trying to be an asshole but, what is the difference? I know that the people beating their dogs are gaining pleasure from their pain, in a direct manner, but even indirectly, eating a steak is gaining pleasure from the cow's pain, and death.
You don't know the difference between an asshole beating a dog and a nice person eating a steak? I'm not going to spend a bunch of time on this, my guess is you are playing devils advocate here. I will say that we purchase, when possible, humanely raised meat etc. But there are opportunity costs to everything we consume. Leather belt? Timbre for your coffee table? All of it came at the expense of something...
"I'm not trying to be an asshole but, what is the difference?" Intent and execution. "eating a steak is gaining pleasure from the cow's pain, and death." And pleasure is, by no means, the only thing gained from eating a steak -- in fact, it isn't even the important thing. Whereas this can't be said for direct animal abuse, where "pleasure" is the whole point. There are a lot of differences here, now that I think about it.
When people put me on hold because somebody else is calling in. My time, like theirs, is valuable. I don't like to spend it on hold. After a minute of holding, I will hang up. If someone is calling you and we are talking, you can call them back when we are through. I extend this simple courtesy to everyone I talk with.
haha, I usually get put on hold when calling businesses, so I just hang up and call again. That is very rude to put someone you're just talking to on hold.
It often depends on who is calling and who I am talking to at the time. I will frequently tell people to go on hold if my mother is calling because the only times she calls are if something is terribly wrong at home or if she wants to chat. If something is wrong, then I typically tell the person on the other line that I need to call them back. If not, then I tell my mother I'll call her back since I'm in the middle of something. Sometimes it will take a little longer than a minute. This situation holds for maybe 3-4 people that I know, most who would never call unless it was important. Does that still tick you off? Anything where people will hold the line to talk for a while on the phone to another person about nothing for 10 minutes though, that's just plain rude.
Hey, I'm getting another call I have to take, can I call you back after? -It's that easy. But making someone wait on hold is akin to being late to a meeting. You are essentially telling the person that your time is more valuable than theirs.
People who fucking talk in a movie theatre when the feature is playing. Usually goes like this. Them talking, me waiting 3-4 minutes. Me asking them to keep it down. Ten minutes pass. They start again. I tell them again, a bit more rudely that I didn't pay a ticket to listen to them speak. Ten minutes pass. They start again. I straight up turn to them, don't even give them the death stare, just look at them in the eyes, about 20 seconds or so until it get's uncomfortable for both of us. Usually by that time they stop for good.
The obvious Chat-n-Cut. It's just uncivilized.
People who only contact you when they want something. Haha fuck you bitch, if we don't talk often enough outside of you asking me to do shit for you, I will not do it and I will tell you I'm not doing it. Ya gotta earn my time before you can use it. That isn't me trying to be condescending, but I want to spend what little time I have on people who deserve it because they've given me some of theirs. This was a problem I had in high school, and I learned quickly that everyone will try to capitalize on you if you're deemed the "nerdy kid." And especially if you're deemed the kid that always helps people.
I dunno, I tend to help people whenever they ask, as long as I know them. And, to be fair, the people that do ask I've known for a while, and even though we may not have spoken for months I still feel close to them, so doing the thing or helping them just feels right. Plus, as someone who tends to often need help with stuff anyway, it's nice to return the favour (even in advance).
I'm trying hard not to be one of those people. Sometimes though, for whatever reason, a long time has passed since I've talked to someone. This is compounded by the fact that I know a lot of people who live in different countries. Fortunately, the people I have contacted when I need something, have in general been very supportive. I am making a conscious effort to be better about keeping in touch though and I certainly take time to help people that go out of their way to ask me for help. I understand that your point of view comes from not wanting to be exploited or taken advantage of. Hell, I used to have a very similar point of view, but as time has gone on, my attitude and approach has changed. Now, if someone asks me for something and in the past, they've always asked for something but never returned a favor then I'm less helpful if or when they ask me for help. For example, I might simply point them in a direction and leave it to them to figure it out. As if learned though, sometimes one is in a bind and when someone can help but chooses not to out of some kind of feeling of revenge or comeuppance, well, both parties lose.
Teachers who have due dates on the syllabus and then, when you have everything ready to turn in, "Oh just save them all, I'll collect them near the end of the semester." Almost snapped a pencil in rage because it was early in the morning and I had stayed up late to finish it all.
"Oh but you had so much time to do it!! You have no excuse for stressing yourself like that! I think someone needs some work on their organizational skills!!" Almost rearranged that bitch's face.
What I can't stand? When people cough-my parents try to explain to others what I want to do with my life. What will I stand up for? When people talk down/criticize others for their personal beliefs, values, morals, opinions etc.
Yes, and, Yes!!! I just can't get started on the parents thing cause I dont think I'd ever be able to finish. I think there is a fine line between arrogance and an offering of your opinion to further collective knowledge with someone else. At the same time, a lot of people immediately get defensive and close-minded when their views are critiqued or opposed.
I think that it's perfectly okay to offer an opposing viewpoint, as long as that opposition does not lack respect for the other person's beliefs. However, when people blindly preach their own opinions without regard to the fact that they might not be the only one who's "right," or call someone else ignorant because of their thoughts- THATS when I have a problem.
Absolutely, and it took me a while to be able to catch myself when I start going down that road in a fervor about a subject. You could feel 100% right about something and be very, very wrong in reality. There's a nice cliché saying the first step to gaining knowledge is knowing that you know nothing at all. I am pretty sure Aristotle (cringe, i might be wrong) was credited with that.
haha, then again how much can you be upset over someone not doing a favor :/ If they say they will do it, then it becomes their responsibility.
(I usually contribute first but I won't this time, will post later)
Ah, glad you asked! Liars! You had a great post about lying that I wrote a ton on and then chrome crashed >.< so I'll try again: Liars. You do not have more of a right to power than I do. You do not have the right to withhold information, or spread false information, from whom it concerns. Honesty can hurt, it can be brutal, but I think it's a waste of a life if we're sheltered from it. We should know the harsh truths, when we're at a young age we might not have to be told about things like genocide and racism, but we should be given the tools and resources to properly, objectively understand them when we discover them. I broke up with my last girlfriend (I'm 15, take 'girlfriend' with a grain of salt) of 2 years because we were unable to communicate. She held things back from people, reserved them because she was afraid of their judgement, and for the longest time I struggled to show her that I was trustable-- it didn't work. So when I found out she had cheated on me, and broken my trust, I left. I wasn't mad because she cheated on me. I was mad because she didn't tell me when she did; it's my responsibility in a relationship to make her happy, and if that means being happy with someone else, then so be it. I'd rather know that I'm not able to satisfy her or whatever, and let her go with someone else, that continue to try to be there for her always when everything I do is being taken for granted. This is selfish. I know. but there's an objective reasoning to this because the valuable, limited time that we sacrifice for other people are just that-- limited. This is an extreme, but I think it applies to even the whitest of lies. So I have no respect for liars. Not to say i haven't lied. I don't have much respect for myself :D
Man, this is timing. I found out my oldest friend (note, I do not say best) slept with the last perso I said "I love you" to last night. She is lying to my face about it. It happened a month ago... When he and I were still fucking. Yay! I think there are times it's okay to lie. I think most of those times are related to privacy; no one has the right to know, for instance, my private thoughts. Obviously, there are times when it is much more self serving and clear-cut. I'll come back to this and add more later, most likely. Edited to add: There are times I think lying has to be okay. When you are protecting yourself from unmerited unkind treatment for instance - discrimination due to factors you can conceivably hide, for instance. Like sexuality or religion, and especially if the discrimination is likely to end in a violent manner. I don't think anyone has the right to know the innermost workings of your mind except for you. For instance I'm very upset with my friend right now but if, say, my coworker asked me "Hey, _refugee_, you seem off today, is everything okay?" I'm not exactly going to launch off into my tale of who-fucked-who-and-shouldn't-have. Not only would it not be appropriate for work but frankly, I don't really feel like rehashing it one more time and I don't really want my coworkers to know or pity me. I won't tell my mom because my mom will judge me. When you do something that harms someone else and lie about it, yes, that's bad. But when you do something to protect oneself, or to protect others (like in the case of religious or political refugees - note, non-violent refugees, like victims of prosecution) then I don't think it's possible to say lying is a bad thing or shouldn't happen. I'd rather lie to save my life than die. I have a lot more to offer the world than one truth (unless it's a really, really good truth). And in a way much of art is lying. My poems, for instance, certainly aren't all factual. They are mostly exaggerations of thoughts or real events. Stories are great for entertaining. Technically though they are lies. Thing is - they are not lies that hurt people. I guess the question for me becomes, where is that line drawn?
I agree with a lot of this. I don't think all lying is bad. I think (as was brought up in the thread about it a lot) it comes down to intent and context. If you're lying to bring someone harm - intentionally - then that's (probably) a bad sort of lie. But lying for protection of self (not necessarily of others, that's a whole other issue) isn't bad at all. When it comes to poems and the like, I don't see that as lying at all, even if presented as truth. More artistic license than anything.
Or even if you're lying to save someone from harm - when they should know whatever you're lying about. I think a lot of cheaters and similar will say "I was lying to protect you!" But really, they were lying to protect themselves from the consequences of their actions. Yes, the truth hurts...but a cheater doesn't lie to protect the person he cheats on, he lies to protect himself.