If everything goes according to plan (Which it won't, and that's ok) within 5 years I'll be, Graduated from school, Gainfully employed somewhere that I don't hate, Looking for a plot of land somewhere to invest in and, Building a self-sufficient homestead somewhere cool. Probably throw a girlfriend in there somewhere too, but that's really just up to chance. I date a lot, but very few girls stick around. I'm trying to figure out if that's because I'm picky, or because my personality is just incompatible with most women between the ages of 19 and 23.
Everybody between the ages of 19 and 23 is incompatible with everyone else in that age range. I'm only sort of joking. People's rate of personal growth/change is through the roof at that age, and almost every major factor in their life be it school, work, finances, social group, etc is in a state of heightened flux. It's a tough age for two people to link up and want to stick around each other for a sustained period of time. I've found that as I get older, my relationships lasted longer and longer as I got better at sorting out what I was looking for and my longer term goals settled into place allowing a longer term relationship to have a foundation to rest on.I'm trying to figure out if that's because I'm picky, or because my personality is just incompatible with most women between the ages of 19 and 23.
Hey man, if it was easy it wouldn't be any fun. stay classy:D I dig the plot of land, ButterflyEffect just commented a similar idea. Funny how we see settling in, retirement etc. as a return to a simple house and some dirt to work with.Probably throw a girlfriend in there somewhere too, but that's really just up to chance. I date a lot, but very few girls stick around. I'm trying to figure out if that's because I'm picky, or because my personality is just incompatible with most women between the ages of 19 and 23.
Holy shit i love what just happened. OftenBen i think your pong just ping'd.
I agree, but a lot of people don't realize that eventually you have to work with (not against!) your partner to get to the good stuff that comes with a relationship on a longer timeline. It's like everyone enjoys the honeymoon phase then tries to turn the plane around when its time to fly back from Hawaii.
I'm not even sure retirement is the right word. I just had this dream of 'The Cabin' growing up, somewhere I can fall back on if it all goes tits up, and as I get older I realize the only thing standing between me, a stop at home depot, and a cabin, is figuring out how to buy land, and make sure I can buy it and keep it without having to keep paying someone else for the right to just live. And dating, I just don't know. I feel like I've been through every phase of trying to be something else to get girls, (Including a brief period as an 'asshole' which lost me my virginity and a lot of self-esteem) now I'm just very direct, I try to be as sweet and thoughtful as comes naturally. (I'm a, long stemmed rose on the first date, kind of guy, and bouquet's when I remember them)
Preferences are preferences. You'll find someone who likes what you offer. (For the record, I'm a "flowers never" kind of gal.) I started a first date this fall by saying "look, I'm just going to be me, and I hope you're just going to be you, because if we pretend to be other people we are just wasting each other's time." I come with warts as do most people. Instead of hiding them I try to be up front about them because maybe some day I'll find someone who can deal with them or even finds them adorable. (Unlikely but a gal can dream!) pretending to be someone else wastes everyone's time... And as you said, can even damage your own self esteem as you try to live up to tropes that don't feel "right" to you. It's hard to get to this point. And it's not easy to stay there either; it requires a brutal self honesty and a willingness not to censor yourself regardless of who is watching, which is often where I personally run into trouble. But better to be alone than have to pretend you are something you are not in order to hold on to someone, right?