Don't read something that goes viral on Facebook. It will leave you mentally scarred and just a little bit dumber for having done so. Don't read something that goes viral on Facebook. You will have sunk to the intellectual level of all the high school morons you tried to forget, but get reminded of everyday from their inane posts about the president or the cute thing their neighbor's dog did. Don't read something that goes viral on Facebook. You'll end up wasting your time with a false sense of learning at the expense of all the actual interesting and enlightening stuff that's written every day. Don't read something that goes viral on Facebook...aw fuck. I could go on all day, but you get the point.
Completely fair. Perhaps I should have opted not to post this.
The universe should note how completely nondefensive TAA was in reply to you, without being offended. And note also, after TAA accepted your point of view as yours (you are entitled to your point of view) -- it led to you kind of apologizing. There are many examples of nondefensiveness on hubski. Hmmmm, I could write a course on nondefensiveness....
These types of articles bore me, and have always seemed stupid, but maybe that's just me. It just seems like the kind of thing you write after someone's broken up with you, and you want to fluff yourself up so you don't feel bad about yourself. And that's fine, self-esteem is good and I'd say we're all guilty of doing this, me absolutely included. But...I don't know. Beyond that, maybe it's just the tone of the articles, this "holier than thou" sort of attitude of that makes me want to date a girl that travels or reads or writes, just not you. Or maybe it's because my roommate got a girlfriend recently and I've gotten cynical. All of the above? Who knows.
First of all, advanced apes (TAA), thank you for using the #grrlski tag. I think you totally get it. I assume by using it, you were looking for a woman's perspective on the article. There is some misunderstanding about the tag -- Note: it is not that a grrlski-tagged article might be of interest to women, but that the poster might want to see what grrls think. I think you understand that. However some writers in the discussion over here might have seen it differently. I agree with humanodon. The writer is trying to say something cautionary to daters or trying to put down someone she dated or trying to boost up her own self-esteem by writing something about how amazing and independent she is. She actually does sound amazing and independent having figured out a way to work around the world Good on her. There's a parallel one called Don't Date a Boy Who Travels by a boy that I didn't read but on first glance seems almost identical. Clearly either one was first and the other was a response. I don't care. Date whoever you like, especially you TAA. If the universe can make an advanced ape with your unique qualities, the universe can make someone for you. She might travel.She will never need you.
This is nonsense. We all need one another. "She" and "you" need to find someone able to deliver the needed things. It might not be pitching a tent, but it will be something.
Ya, I'm always interested in hearing female perspectives on sex, dating, relationships, and just life in general. I've never dated a girl like this, but I've met a lot of girls like this and I was wondering if other girls here could relate. Haha, you don't have to worry about me!I think you totally get it. I assume by using it, you were looking for a woman's perspective on the article.
Date whoever you like, especially you TAA.
A take on this 'poem' which has spawned this response which loses some of the point of the original, but both are fun nonetheless.
You keep saying "don't date" and then follow up with a description of the exact type of person I'm looking for in life. I'm looking for someone who will pull me out of my little bunker and help me live life to the fullest. I have those urges but am to scared/confined to act on them. I'd love more than anything to meet someone that pulls me out and drags me along. To go on adventures. Sounds great. You've pretty much described my dream girl and then said "don't date them". Yet, you don't provide any reasons. Fuck that. Whose to say that I don't want that stuff as well? I'll do what I want.
It might be more correct to say "the author" instead of "you;" I don't think theadvancedapes wrote this post.
You have to be careful though. If you look for a girl who's going to help "pull you out of your bunker", you risk falling into the trap of the "Manic Pixie Dream Girl." Every person who is scared, confined, and yet desperately wants to seek the outside world and grow as a person is at risk for believing that this person can really exist. The only person who can truly pull you out of your bunker is you. It has to be conscious, and it will be a lot of hard work, but if you do, your likelihood of meeting that dream girl who wants to travel and experience life increase exponentially.
Yea, I've started to realize that. I feel like that I'm "ready" to go, but I'd like one small extra push, most likely from someone who feels the same way. As it stands, I'm just surrounded by people who like to stay in the same place, doing the same things. And it feels "wrong" to go against that. Finding someone who will basically say "lets do it" and go would make it a lot easier. Which is what I mean by "pull me out of my bunker". Basically just someone to say "it's okay, lets do it" rather than everyone saying "it's a bad idea, just keep doing what you are doing." That, and I'm waiting for about 2 more months or so, so I can finish up my degree. It's not so much a lack of a desire, but rather, lack of initiative and motivation. Following the flow is much easier and comfortable. Having someone beside me doing the same thing would make it a lot easier just to hit the red button.
I saw this the other day. What bothered me was how general it all was. I've spent a lot of my 20's with girls who travel and you know what? Most of the time, they traveled with other people and those that did travel with other people, usually traveled with a boyfriend or a husband or a partner. I'm not saying that I think women or women who travel often aren't independent, just saying that as a person who is transitioning away from that lifestyle, this article paints that kind of life all kinds of romantic in ways that I did not observe it to be. As someone who used to travel alone fairly regularly, yeah, there is a certain freedom in doing that, but there's a particular loneliness that can occur. Sometimes you experience something so incredible that describing it to someone who wasn't there, could never convey the magnitude or the thrill or the whatever of the experience. Sharing moments is one of the greatest things of all about traveling, in my opinion. Edit: I don't mean to imply that I think traveling alone is a bad thing, it's just that this particular piece seems to advocate too strongly on the other side and perhaps to an readership or perceived readership that won't have traveled much. I also think that the kind of girl or woman she describes in this article, could better be described as "girls or women who don't yet know what they want and are therefore not looking for anything serious as settling down is not what they're after at the moment." So never date a girl who travels unless you can keep up with her. And if you unintentionally fall in love with one, don’t you dare keep her. Let her go. These parts at the end really made me feel like this is actually a way of venting about someone, the "you" it mentions, that maybe this piece was written as a way of feeling better about however that relationship ended, which is fine, but I definitely have a problem with the way this tries to portray an expatriate existence and that a woman who travels is someone that no one else on earth can possibly understand.She will meet many interesting, like-minded people from around the world who share her passion and dreams. She will be bored with you.
I travelled once alone to Taiwan (I had a friend living there I met up with but was mostly alone) and I was surprised at how lonely I felt. I kept wanting to tell people back home about the beautiful things I saw, and photos couldn't really do some of it justice. I don't think I'd want to travel alone again after that.
Oh, I should have tempered my statement a bit better. I have had some incredible times traveling alone and usually those are trips where I've met really cool people as well. Plus, sometimes traveling alone is a nice way to get your head together. I wouldn't write off traveling alone just yet! Also, welcome to hubski!I don't think I'd want to travel alone again after that.