Long story short, I use chatter way too much, and one of the posts from today resulted in _refugee_ and nowaypablo briefly talking about "popular kids". So I want to know, were you ever one of those kids? What did you think about those people?
For me, I somehow managed to fall into that category in my last two years of high school. Started on a trip to Europe with a bunch of people, most of whom were the "popular kids". Apparently if you spend 10 straight days with them you get assimilated into that. Nothing ever happened that comes close to what pablo brought up with cielo, but then again I'm talking about suburban kids in a depressed city. It was interesting though suddenly getting caught up in the drama of who's dating/fucking who, the sports drama (of which I found myself at the center of some of that...), balancing multiple social lives, and spending some time during that trip breaking onto the roof of a hotel overlooking the English channel, throwing things into the ocean and realizing how incredible it is to be thrusted into that scene.
It wasn't all good, but I guess it's still going here at college? I've ran into people at parties nowadays that somehow know me though I've never met them. Again, it took about a year and a half but it's a ride. A lot of the "popular kids" are good people, but yeah, a lot of them are pretty bad people that do entitled, close-minded things.
a) I have had a ton of absinthe tonight and am nothinkging straight b) they filmed friday night lights at my high school c) friday night lights accurately reflected my high school d) which is ridiculous as fuck d) there were like a million people in my graduating class and i knew all of them d) i did al ot of drugs e) high school was amazing
I was popular in 3rd Grade, however, after experiencing the turmoil of having my "fiance" leave me for another guy on our wedding day (which I responded to by breaking my leg and wrapping it in my coat,) I was left socially crippled. While this was entirely and completely normal for a third grader, it left be broken an torn, emotionally. It is this event, (rather than by parent's lack of money and choice to live in an area without electricity and running water,) that I blame for my social ineptitude throughout my school career. That and moving school districts every two to three years... Just for the full vision, I was the skinny, lanky shy kid who would turn red as soon as you talked to him, stumble over words, and always wait to be last in everything. I walked around the school at lunch. If I was unsure about something, I would ignore it. I skipped an entire class for almost a semester my freshman year, because I didn't know where it was held. After high school, I ventured out on my own. I had a job at a little cafe in a little town, where I earned $4.50 an hour. I managed to rent the apartment upstairs with a close buddy of mine, and started relishing my freedom, mainly by hanging out at Denny's. I moved onto a higher paying job, and started having cash to burn, so when one of the regulars at Denny's was short on money, I'd pay for him. This started a friendship that led me to a broader group. He came to my house one day, and didn't leave. We started smoking pot together, then invited some of his friends. We started hanging out, and he introduced me to beer. That apartment in the center of a tiny town (also located directly across the street from the police station,) became party central for the just-out-of-high-school, but not-yet-of-legal-drinking-age group. We lived in a commercial zone, with the nearest homes over a block away, so parties were loud (The police only bothered us once, as nobody ever complained.) Suddenly, I'm rocketed to somewhat of a status in the community of my peers. People wanted to hang out with me, and the constant inebriation helped my social capabilities a ton. I supplied the funds for alcohol most week-ends to all the kids who never went off to collage, and in turn they smoked me out. I may not remember the majority of that time in my life, but I remember it being a blast. I'd have all sorts through my little apartment. At that time I realized that people were a lot like me: focused on themselves more that on others. I learned to relax, and got along pretty well with most people. For a few years afterwards, I'd have people recognizing me, saying hi, etc., and I had no clue who they were. I'm bad with names anyways, but if I don't remember your face... I settled down a bit in my early twenties, had a selective core group of friends in my mid-to-late twenties, and at thirty-one now, I'm back to being the kid i was in school. That's a long story of the fall, but that's for another post.
Apprently this is your first comment, so welcome!
I have to say though, like ButterflyEffect said that was a interesting story, and it looks like you put alot of time in it. :) that part about people being focused on themselves more than on others really stood out, and makes me want to ignore my anxiety and start being more social with people, so thank you for that. :)
Hey caelum19, if you're tagging somebody make sure both ends of the name are bookended with "@" signs so they get the notification. It's also case-sensitive, not sure if that point is made anywhere :) Glad you got something out of this too.
That was an interesting read, I'm glad you shared it. Sounds like quite the ride. At the risk of sounding callous, I did laugh a bit at the first sentence just because it's something I've seen happen with children I know, be it young cousins or whatever. Minus the leg breaking part.
I was popular in a very strange sense. When I was in IB, I was a cynical asshole. Gotta say, 95% of the time, most of the kids in that program deserved it. I know the word "fake" is a sketchy word to use when describing people, but holy shit my IB class was fake as all hell. There was this strange, just...untrue belief that everyone was in an IB "family". Hell, it was almost cultish. And it always fell apart with the gossip and racism that circled around the class anyways. The thing about being a (semi?) intelligent Black kid in a room filled with well-off, silver-spooned White kids is that it becomes really easy to pick apart the bullshit. You just know. And I called everyone out on their bullshit. Especially as highschool got closer to ending. I was just so sick of the circlejerky bullshit. I won't even go into specifics because I could go forever. I was exhausted by the time the year was over, with a mixture of classes and bullshit. I'm very lucky I had a close circle of friends during those years, or I don't think I would have made it. So, considering how much of an asshole I sound like in those paragraphs, why was I so popular? Because people thought I was kidding. Yup, every time I straight up told someone to stop parading their grades around, or the fact that they barely studied for a test and did well, or harassed one of my quieter friends for help on math homework with nothing to show in return, they thought I was just "messin around." Holy shit. Because of that, I was popular because people thought me being an asshole was some sort of shell, and in reality I actually liked those people. Holy shit. Senior year we read The Stranger by Albert Camus in class. Everyone told me I was just like the protagonist, Mersault, meaning they both mis-understood what existentialism actually encompasses, and what the point of the novel was. And the fact that I'm not a murderer, but that's besides the point. I had to relay to the class that just because I was apathetic to everyone in that particular room, to those particular people, did not mean that I was apathetic to life as a whole. Just to them. I think I was a little less popular after that.
Okay, this is going to sound like I'm missing the point completely, and I probably am but I'm starting the IB in the fall and I'm wondering if you have any tips on how to get through it ( and not be an asshole)?
Oh my God! A young one to dispense all my knowledge upon about the International Baccelaureate program! If you want, you mind PMing me what year of school you're in, if you're not comfortable sharing it out in the open? Sorry I ask, it just gives me a better sense of what advice I can give you. The general gist is that the program is honestly solid and really helpful if the school that you're goin to does it well. It's just the people that are annoying. Here's a joke: How do you know a kid was in IB? Just wait. They'll tell you.
My country requires upper secondary school to be 3 years, so we do a year of pre-IB. This means I'm starting the real IB next year in what will be my 11th year of school. It's nice to know that the information you get is valuable.
Interesting. I did two years of Pre-IB. I'm going to assume you're talking about Sweden. I'm surprised they let badgers into the program, though. I wouldn't say the information is valuable...besides IB Psych, which was taught by our wonderful IB Proctor who I still keep in touch with, I don't remember much of the actual content. However, learning how to learn was a life-saving skill that will be a god-send when you enter college. It really teaches you to put in the effort in when doing research, reading, creating succinct and well written essays, and effective time management. All that said, I don't know the major differences in IB culture between Sweden and America, so your milage may very, both in the way you're taught, and the way people around you act. Just remember to brush off all the bragging that will probably happen. It's all a competition for people to be on top, but if you do you're own thing and not worry about anyone else, you should be fine! Have they told you about TOK, your sixth subject, the extended essay, or the 150 hours of community service you'll be doing? If not, I can dish out some info on that stuff as well.
They have told us a bit about TOK and EE and CAS, but I would love to hear what you have to say about it. The sixth subject is for me a science one. In my school you have the option of either doing a group 4 or a group 3 subject as your sixth. One thing with Swedish IB culture is that it is taught in our second language so you have loads of Swedish born people constantly speaking English which is a bit strange.
So TOK is really gonna be cool dependent on who you've got as a teacher. Mine was sweet, so it was really good for me and my writing, as well as how I approach debate and discussion. It essentially teaches about epistomology. The Extended Essay...hmm...well when I did it, you pick a topic, and then get assigned a teacher that can advise you during the process. I cranked it out when I was fasting one day and decided it was either write this, or die of starvation and pain. I would say pick a topic that you're really good with. I did one on philosophy, and I'd never written a philosophy paper in my life. And while I did well, I could have done much better if I focused on something I was knowledgeable about already. CAS is pretty awesome. People in my class saw it as a chore, but it caused me to do community service as a regular thing, not just to fill a quota. There are three categories that the service can be based on: Creative, Action, and Service. And I believe you need 25 of each, for a total of 75 per year. My favorite thing we did was a 24 hour gaming marathon for our local Hospital. We streamed it and everything. Good times. And we made some money too! Just do service for causes you believe strongly about and the hours will go like that. I gotta watch The Road for a class now...fun...but leave any more questions you've got and I'll definitely get to them! And welcome to Hubski!
One thing we have to do in CAS is make CAS projects. essentially combining at least to things in one activity. This seems to be a pretty new thing so I don't think you had to do that. A gaming marathon is a really good idea for doing service. Anyway, what subjects did you take? How heavy was the work load? how nervous do you get when it's exam time?
I took the usual English,and math. I had psychology as my history class. Spanish was my language, and digital arts was my sixth subject. The work load wasn't so bad as long as you kept up with stuff and did it the day you got it. I wasn't too nervous during our final exams. By that point, everything was beaten into me, I had figured out exactly how to take the test, because it's very formulaic. Secret tip: Check out the ibo website. I straight up bought the previous years exams for my psychology class as practice. Yeah, it's a bit of a scam, but they're only a few bucks and they did wonders for my preparation for either real thing.
Thanks for the advice. So, do the work immediately and practice on old tests (that you can by from Ibo)? That's good advice. Thanks. It's going to help me manage and actually gain something from doing the IB. It's always nice to get tips from people that have been through it already.
Thanks for the kind words and all the advice. I'll keep you in mind if I have any more questions.
Is it really that dichotomous these days? Our school had warring camps. The stomps had a hierarchy in their own right, as did the jocks, as did the honor society to an extent. The skaters were sort of 2nd tier, who had a lot of overlap with the art/stoner crew, who were almost all goths, but had some overlap with the trench coat mafia. If you were to say "point to the popular kids" to a kid at my school, they would have looked around the lunch room and pointed in four or five different directions; the unpopular kids were evident but "popular" could easily mean "gets to have sex with the girls into Garth Brooks" as well as "had his tires slashed by the jocks." We also had an excessive police presence (19 cruisers, 3 4x4 party busters, 3 up-armored Suburbans and an armored car for SWAT plus NEST plus Delta for eight traffic lights) and pathetically few places to party, so most of the partying was intramural. There weren't "jock parties" or "honor society parties" as typically any warm-beer gathering in the woods had at least three cliques in attendance. Me? I hunted girlfriends amongst the trench coat mafia, was avidly pursued by the women of the drama crew, studied with the honor society and got into fights with the stomps. The guys I drank with most often are largely dead from overdoses and violence; the guys I studied with most often are largely tenured. An ex-girlfriend overdosed on heroin ten years back; an ex-nearly-girlfriend (who lettered in five sports and was national honor society) is still a facebook friend. It was mostly fluid like that. Things got a little awkward when one of my buds amongst the stoners knifed one of my buds amongst the skaters but it blew over pretty quickly when the stoner got shipped out to juvvie. And while my experience might be unique, I've always had a suspicion that people oversimplify their high school politics. "In or out" never fully explains the complex dynamics at play, and I think we all do a disservice to our social circles when we portray things in such a binary light.
Jesus.. Where the hell did you go to school that you managed to pull of a hybrid between Requiem for a Dream and Catcher in the Rye??
Ha! Los Alamos, NM, where they invented the atom bomb (and still do nasty and exciting things with isotopes). Nonetheless, I'm still reasonably convinced that the "popular/not popular" divide is like saying "rich/poor." There's a lot of middle class, you know?
Absolutely, and sometimes that divide is literally between rich/poor and the middle class in between.
I was. But, my class was only 120 people and we didn't have football, though we did have cheerleaders. We had the conventionally popular, who did shit like student government and then the popular artistic kids. I was friends with both. If you stick out like a sore thumb (or in my case, like a drop of coffee in a bathtub full of cream) you can either own it or get run over by it.
I live in a demographic Antarctica. A Ghanaian friend of mine comes from a wealthy family of doctors, gets solid grades and wears wool sweaters. He gets called "the whitest black kid ever" and people constantly tell him he's "not really black." In 8th grade I heard someone say that in art class, so I took a small plastic baggie and filled it to the top in black paint, nestling it between the books in that asshole's designer leather backpack. Bell rings and he throws his stuff into his bag, looks down, yells, cries, and never says a word to me or my friend ever again.
This is really shameful I'm even answering this. I was a "popular" kid. The people I went to prom and homecoming with were the kings and queens, we partied in mansions on the weekends, our lunch table was typical popular cheerleaders and football players and lacrosse players and tennis players. My high school was similar to what you see in the movies, graduating class of 1,000+ students with predominately affluent upper and middle class families. The people that were my friends were mostly vapid privileged kids with powerful parents who it felt like the school catered to. Being associated with them did wonders for how teachers treated me, what my experience was like day to day, and also did nothing good for my ego. I constantly felt like an outsider. While my best friend was getting a brand new candy red Mercedes on her 16th birthday, I scrounged up money working as a waitress and bought a falling apart truck that my mom made me buy stick shift(so uncool mom!) When prom dress shopping I would go with my girl friends and I would never buy a dress with them, I'd go with my mom later and buy whatever was on sale. If my friends wanted to go on overseas trips, or cruises, they wouldn't want to leave me behind so their parents would pay for me. I would never bring my friends to my mom's house because I felt almost embarrassed bringing them there. Can you believe that? Stuff like that was really weird growing up and I look back on it and it doesn't really feel like it was me at all. I can't believe I shared this.
Eh, sometimes some pretty darn personal stuff gets posted around here. Question, if you found this elsewhere (Reddit, Hackernews, etc.) do you think you would have shared it? I'm just curious. I can't even imagine most of what you said. My class was ~300 people, with about 1000 people TOTAL between grades 9 and 12. There weren't any really upper class people, certainly not people with mansions or getting Mercedes on their sweet 16. I guess it has to exist somewhere though. Oh yeah, I was on prom court junior year and my friends were king and queen senior year. Went through that fun stuff too.
Well since I'm new here, I felt a little more free to divulge this story. If I were on any of those other platforms? Probably not. I really like it here too, so I'm just sharing what I can that's relevant and exploring and learning. I'm sure I'll regret posting that at some point haha I'm happy that I'm not the only person that's gotten personal or over shared(I'm bound to do that at least once...) I noticed though.. No personal share link of your own! Are you more reserved in your reveals, ButterflyEffect?
Well I'm glad you did, it was a good read. People are generally open about things here, which is why I was comfortably posting this. Personal share link? The comment I linked to above links to this post I made a couple months back that's pretty darn personal. Know why I made that post? Because I value what everyone that commented has to say and know they would say things that mattered more than what a lot of my friends were saying in person. To answer your question, not really.
It's certainly useful, like onetime someone I knew got his car stuck and I was able to maneuver it while everyone else pushed. For me though, Stick is just extra stuff to do while driving, drinking a coffee on your morning commute is not easy while worrying about gear changes and all that jazz. Also, stop and go traffic, my foot would get tired from constantly holding down the clutch. I learned not to wear sandals and drive stick because I once got my sandal wedged between the clutch and that was pretty much one of the scariest moments ever driving. Are you a stick fan?
By way of participation in various youth government simulations I rose to a kind of statewide power intense enough that I would be recognized by other students from the opposite side of the state, and frequently on the streets of the larger cities in the region. I took this as far as I could, eventually being selected to lead a national version of the youth/gov't simulation which was so popular where I grew up. This was completely ephemeral, and had little influence on my regular life, where I was nothing special, always second to someone's thunder and never really the center of any social group. I was between them all and frankly a bit lost and lonely. Put me in front of a crowd of two thousand strangers and I can move many and make a not insignificant number of them cry with joy and feeling. This is a skill I have never found use for, and never exercised since, but it is still there, waiting for the right moment. So I never was quite popular, in the local sense. But maybe this helped me stay me and get out of the tiny city I grew up in. There was less to stick around for. I'm not sure if this made me a popular one, but it sure was interesting.
Yes, I was a popular kid. I got along with all groups, the jocks, the partiers, the artists etc. I went to a private school and then the local public school so I had great friends from both schools and would invite people from either school to the others parties. I was sort of like a bridge for parties. I am one of those rare people that truly got along with everyone. I liked HS and had too much fun in college. Way too much.
Maybe some people like newgreen are popular because they're nice. I feel like the common thing with people who are nice and popular is that they fit in everywhere, not just in the popular clique.
I wasn't really popular at school in general (I got along with everyone, but wasn't exactly Ferris Bueller), but I went on a student exchange trip to Japan and that was an interesting experience. Basically, I attended a Japanese high school for a week and saw what it was like. However, after my introduction there, people kept on waving to me and trying to talk to me (much more than with the other exchange students, who were more popular, normally). I still have no idea why it was, but it was awesome. So I wasn't exactly popular, but I was famous for around a week.
During Years 4-9 (Grades 9 -14 I believe, for you Americans) I was a main part of the popular kids. During the later years I fragmented and settled into a more tight-knit group of people who weren't really considered so cool by the 'mainstream'. We were the Metal/Rock/Grunge crowd. However, this development offered me the status of being able to delve into any group I wanted at any time. I was at home in either group I chose to be a part of because both sides knew me well. University was obviously a bit different because it's so vast that there's not really crowds where everybody knows who they are. However, again I shied away from all the sports lads and big societies and just found my own bunch of about 6/7 people. Outside of my course, there was probably only about 25 people max who knew me well enough to call me a friend.
I was a nothing. I doubt that there is anyone left that I went to high school that remembers me existing back then. I had a paper route in the morning, worked in the afternoon saving everything I could, not knowing what exactly I wanted to do with myself. School burnt me out on learning and I did what I could to get in, get a passing grade, get out. I got to school a bit early, finished homework during breaks, spent lunch in the library studying, and had to bolt out of there at the end of the day to get to my afternoon job. Freshman year I discovered computers and that was fun for a while. While I never got into programing, I became the guy who built the machines and made them do incredible things. 10-15 years ago I would have said I hated high school, but now I just don't care. The "cool" kids in my class are either dead from drugs, in jail or grandparents after having kids at 18-19. The hard part is that at 15-16 your event horizon is last week; we all lack the perspective at that age to realize that these four years are less than 5% of your life if you work hard stay healthy and live to 80. The best revenge is living well.
I was popular in my own right. I didnt hang out with everyone, but I was kind of into the industrial music scene. Most of my friends were too, but I kinda had a pass with all the Metalheads, Goth kids, skaters, etc. I had a ton of pretty cool friends but idk if we'd be the archetypal "popular" group.
Personally, I wasn't... I was just kind of in the middle. When I WAS in school anyway, I was in the middle. Of course being young and dumb, I decided that cutting class and running around with friends was a lot more fun than going to class. Especially since I was one of those kids who showed up aced everything and then skipped for a week. The school system I would imagine, considered me gifted, but I didn't want to be there. Anyway I ended up getting a GED. So I guess my point is that I kept to myself and like four other people because I thought everybody else in that school were a bunch of idiots.
Not really, in fact I was an asshole. My only redeeming quality, apparently, was that I was hilarious, and never cruel. I didn't have a group. I sort of floated around and talked to everyone. I wasn't ever invited to anything, but even if I had been, I wouldn't have gone. Most of my high school years were spent reading and being sarcastic, and hiding in the closet because I fell in love with a friend. I had more friends than I think, so I'm told, but my bar of that is pretty high. I ran the school newspaper, was in the quiz team (fucking dork that I am), and was renowned for verbally smacking people that irritated me. I regret a lot of that, because I acted that way because I thought I had to. It wasn't until I tried to be nice to someone, and they said it meant a lot since I was such a "hateful" person, that I realized how much I'd messed up. I wish I could change it.
When I say I was one of the smartest people in my school, you have to believe me when I say I'm not being arrogant, the number of kids who actually tried was just negligible, y'kno? Either way, I was friends with the band kids, who were generally overachievers and actually diligent students, and the other few souls who were in my honors classes and what not. Most people had no idea who I was until class rankings came out and I would hear, "Oh, it's that kid." In my sophomore year, I applied to a residential magnet STEM school and got in, which I moved into for my junior and (approaching) senior years. Here, I'm more popular, per say, but there are few here that are inherently unpopular. I do theater productions, and I'm on our school's Drama Board, and a lot of people turn up for those kinds of events. Naturally, they'll see me there, and after the fact. Everyone at this school is brilliant in some aspect, though, so few people stand out because of their academic abilities. The school is also very clique oriented, as you could imagine when I described myself as a "Theater Kid," so popularity could be better described as the popularity amongst your clique. High school is too complicated.
I've never been popular, but I've always gone to small schools. In 3rd grade we were 11 in my class and when I finished 9th we were 90 in my whole year. That doesn't really leave room for a big popular group. I was never one of the girls that partied on the weekend and such but in my class of 30 people I think I was fairly liked. I had my close group of 4 friends and occasionally someone from another group would talk to us or I would talk to someone else. I am the kind of person that is more for having a few close friends than a large web of them and that doesn't really lend itself to popularity.
I was too quiet to be popular. Mostly sharing this for the Cloud Nothings video.
It's a great video. Side note, but if you're still around WNY, my label is having an anniversary show in a couple weeks, not sure if you'd be interested but figured I'd bring it up.
I will be for another few months. When and where will the show be?