Well. I put my two weeks notice in on Monday. So there's that. What am I going to do? Whatever THE FUCK I WANT! I'll make a separate post soon with all my thoughts and learning experiences and stuff. I'm in crunch time to get this company to an okay place without me.
- a tumor - nasty rumors - the want and need to do more - with that car; she's a fumer - I wish I only knew more - instead I have to poo more - but there's a line, even a queue! more - people than even I can stand it makes me want to sue more! - but now you see I'm out of letters and I can barely view more so although I'd like to give you more it's back into the zoo more
KB In Da House, Da Master Consumer yo yo does rappity things eightbitsamurai - sorry about my abysmal display of rap ignorance
Dammit veen, I'll kick you in your spleen I'm rhymin some things, Y'all be like "how do ya mean?" Cause my rhymes so hard and my beats so slick I got that quarian status, which means I am sick That's a Mass Effect verse, play it you dick Wanna watch the Walking Dead but I fucking hate Rick. This is shit.
nah, boulder doesn't suck because nobody there is into hiphop. I can remedy that with /r/hiphopheads. boulder sucks because the students there are mostly assholes. Can't remedy being an asshole. Or it's really difficult to do, at the very least. Plus, Hubski is infinitely more diverse than Boulder ever will be. Perhaps not in terms of race, but at least not every single person here has the exact same experience of growing up and being spoon-fed everything you've been given, not really knowing anything outside of what's important about you.
Yes. I'm going to do Australia for a month. See you at octoberfest after?
I was thinkin more like next octoberfest, but in the spirit of the thing, sure. I'll be the bum in the hubwheel shirt with no plans and even less prospects. Movie titles spring to mind, Lost in Leipzig, Lonesome in Leipzig, Bereft in Berlin, Alone in Cologne, Homeless in Hamburg, Badass in Baden Baden...
Yeah. Suddenly I am in a much better state both mentally and physically. Even though I still had 10 more days of work (+Saturday for the build / packout / qc), it's all okay now! There's a light at the end of the tunnel! I think the most mentally draining thing - beyond the thought that I would have to wake up and come in here and do this work every day for an indeterminate amount of time - is that I was terrified that I was losing my passion of what I do. It turns out I'm just not passionate about how this company handles things.
A friend and I had a conversation a while back that began with him asking me, "Do you love to quit too?" to which I answered, "Yes!" Now, I've mentioned my struggle with getting a steady job since moving back to the U.S. but freely quitting various jobs over the years has helped me to understand that I don't have to BE my job and that work is just a paycheck. If my work happens to align with my values, then I am of course much happier, but too often people are told to make their passion their job, which is good advice in general but it does seem to give a whole lot of people the sense that there is a Perfect Job for them out there that will fulfill their every want and soothe all their worries. People change, as do their priorities and values and part of finding a way to be happy (seems to me) is by having a varied career. But, y'know . . . figuring out how to do that is a challenge.
We talked a bit about this in Boston. I've worked numerous jobs that I don't love (or even like) and I never had a problem with it. However, with more creative things, I found it much harder to separate myself from my work. When you work your ass off to solve problems and come up with creative solutions and design and redesign and code and re-code and fix bugs and start from scratch, it's hard to separate yourself. Throughout the process, my mind is consistently working in the background trying to figure out how to solve the problem - whether it's coming up with the initial idea or a particularly stubborn bug. With creation, it's rare that you can force a solution. It's best to think on it without consciously thinking about it. I've come up with so many solutions, or half solutions, or new approaches, or whatever at a bar or in the shower.
Yeah, well . . . this why lots of teachers drink. I'm not saying that it's easy to leave work behind, especially when one cares about what one does. What I am saying is that leaving work in the workplace is something that has taken me a long time to learn and I'm still learning that sometimes I need to let things, places and sometimes even people behind because my emotional attachment gets in the way of being happy or moving toward something else. My example was more like . . . "sometimes coloring outside the lines can help to understand how better to color within them" . . . or something. Other friends assure me that once in my 30s, I'll have enough life experience to better know who I am and what I want. We'll see. Hope it's not too much tribulation for you to figure out what's next!
Work on the redesign of a website that I've been overseeing...in terms of "this is the scope of the project, here's what we're looking for each page, here's some concept art, and here's a deadline". But really, that's some news. Good luck with finishing up your job and with your future. Looking forward to seeing that follow up post!