STRESS AND ANXIETY College admissions coming (transfer from 2 year FINALLY), 5150'ing clients, evicting a drug dealer who is trying to get me fired this week (not gonna work), my dental care nonprofit starting to receive several requests per day for work & we don't have the money for it all, working on short film script, getting ready to quit my job next month and move, etc June: where u @?
Whaat!?! whats it about??working on short film script
I'm imagining Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino rolled back 40 years. The Gran Prequelino.
Word amongst the fraternities is that they're apparently going to have a "Run From the Police" fun run. But guys shut up Boulder is a place for positive memories (for my white coworkers). Anyways, I remember _refugee_ asked a looong time ago to report on a presentation I would do in my class about race and whatnot in videogames, and I did it. It went well, I consider myself relatively funny so I tried to utilize that throughout the presentation, people asked questions, I didn't feel like I bit off more than I could chew, and there was more than enough for me to talk about. So...yay. Your poems are awesome, I loved A Grave for Fishes and Alla Grave the most. Internship is progressing well, I've got the interview set up next week, but the professor that recommended me did so so strongly that they're already talking like I've gotten the position, so that's cool. I've decided I like the new Passion Pit album, each listen makes it increasingly catchy. I am still convinced that thenewgreen and Michael Angelakos are the same person and TNG is just his alter-ego to release music without getting swarmed by fans. I got this app that keeps track of how I feel three times a day. It's been very interesting watching the patterns and seeing the trends. For example, you can see that 4/8 is when I got the internship offer, and 4/9 is when I got to hang out and do some creative stuff with my sister. It's cold but I think I'm gonna walk home today. Edit: Sending out another swedishbadgergirl SOS Edit 2: The weather is actually REALLY NICE OUTSIDE YAY! And I got my MewTwo code for Smash 4. This is looking to be another great week! 
Hi eightbit! Life is treating me better now than in winter. I am allowed to re-do this year of IB and my teachers told the IB co-ordinator that I was motivated and ambitious! I've got a summer job with the county at a day care centre which is basically guaranteed when you are my age but I am looking forward to it. Hopefully I will be able to use it as a reference.
You can throw me squarely in the .gif's suck category too. It's extremely rare when I see one that I find worthwhile.
That mood tracking app is a cool idea. What's it called?
Getting towards the end of the semester and all the associated stress and anxiety is already kicking in. Just want to be done with it all... My diet sucks - I think that's why I have such low energy/tired all the time. Looking for tips on controlling my food intake, or some kind of non-extreme diet that I can do with my (low) budget. On a brighter note, finally got back to my mini-ethnographies/blogging, although school tends to slow me down, I'm going to try and get in the habit of writing something every day, no matter how small/silly. ps. There is almost nothing I look forward to more on the internet than pubski <3
For controlling your intake you should look into logging all of your food and drink on something like myfitnesspal. This is something I should do more often but it could be very helpful in seeing where you're overeating and what you need to eat more of. For cooking and a diet, you should definitely check out a couple of subreddits such as Eat Cheap and Healthy and Meal Prep Sunday.My diet sucks - I think that's why I have such low energy/tired all the time. Looking for tips on controlling my food intake, or some kind of non-extreme diet that I can do with my (low) budget.
Simplest way to control your food intake is to force yourself to cook everything you eat. You'll eat less, because you won't have time, or because you won't always want to cook when you're "hungry" (that is, feel like eating but don't actually need to). This is, obviously, not advice that everyone is in a situation to be able to take. Hope you are.
Hmm, where I'm living for the next three weeks has a pretty crappy kitchen, but maybe once I move out I'll be able to do this. Love cooking. Do you do this? (and if so, how do you survive without snacks!?) I started with myfitnesspal like @ButterflyEffect suggested, but my first impression is that it's a bit slow to find what your eating - which is a hard UX obstacle when you're dealing with so much data - but it harms the experience nonetheless. I'll will test it out until I move, and see if I need to change it up.
If a kitchen has a refrigerator and a working stovetop of any sort, that's enough. Having a microwave helps me a good bit because I can make oatmeal with honey and cinnamon and blueberries in like 90 seconds. I don't use apps because it doesn't seem to help much.
I think I am having one of the worst weeks ever. What according to you is the worst feeling ever?
Hopelash. Hopelash is emotional whiplash. It's that feeling that happens when you've been expecting something and excited for it, looking forward to it, really amped up about it, and then...shit falls through and all your good feelings melt into crumbling upset and disappointment. Possibly tears. I hate hopelash more than anything.
Yeah so our lease is up in the air. Been working with this building since January. We've had three architects come by, drawn up two floorplans, given them two Letters of Intent, they have a 3-year P&L, a 5-year projection and a letter of credit from Wells Fargo. The last interaction we had with them was "Yeah, we'll do a 5-year lease if you pay for 50% of the TI." They came back with "Yeah, we'll pay for 100% of the TI if you do a 10-year lease." So then we brought in two architects (the first one, recommended by my sister the architect, was a farce) to come up with a real TI number. That real TI number came in within 5% of the previous estimate. So we gave them another letter of intent of "Yeah, we'll do a 10-year lease if you pay 100% of the TI, also we want to be able to buy out the lease after 5 years by repaying you 50% of the TI." They came back with "yeah, this isn't going to work out." Except it's bullshit because when we first started talking to the place their realtor was all "better hurry! We just accepted an LOI from someone else!" despite the fact that the place has been unrented since 2009. And now here we are, within the error bars of their previous terms, and they're all "fuck off and die." Which leads me to believe that their real estate broker is just an OMEGACHOAD but nonetheless. - 2 floor plans - 1 11-page narrative - 4 fucking conference calls - 2 site visits (which involve an airplane) - "Yeah, this isn't going to work out." We're going to give them a while to change their bullshit story, to quote The Fugitive, but yeah. Total hopelash.
We're not entirely sure it isn't working. The problem is, to do this stuff you've got a broker on our side and a broker on their side and you have to play like a 3-step game of telephone to do anything. We'll have a better idea of how badly it isn't working when we hear back from the other two steps.
Yes. Yes yes yes. I love that term and am going to start using it. How do you combat hopelash?
Exactly this ButterflyEffect - hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. I also try not to believe that what i want to happen is going to happen, especially if the odds aren't in my favor. For instance recently I applied to grad school, and I knew it was much more realistic to believe I wouldn't get in. I would so much rather be ecstatically surprised because I got something I wanted, than blase because i got something I felt I "deserved." So, uh...expect for things not to work out the way you want. Sounds a little negative but honestly, it is pretty important to practice realistic expectations, or else you end up that crazy Bridezilla where everything is planned planned planned and perfect perfect perfect and the day will never live up to your expectations, ever, anyway, at all, because they're just so completely sky-high. (Bridezilla was the first good example i can think of, but basically, anyone can do this about any event. Birthdays too probably. These people end up usually awfully disappointed, a result which is inevitable because they started with expectations that could never be met.) Don't be like that. Be like the opposite of that, about whatever you're excited about.
Hopelash is the best word ever. Also same. Hopelash sucks.
I will start using this term more often, I like it.
It actually describes the feeling which the majority of the population might be facing at a point of time. This also can be in terms of running after something a lot, putting in all the effort possible but in the end not getting it. I think this is the worst feeling ever for me.
My worst feeling is dissapointing someone, or when I work on something a long time and lose progress. Doubly whammy last week when I did my second, most officially official podcast episode with my sister. We recorded the whole thing, I felt like it was a really strong episode, then on playback Audacity wasn't getting our audio fast enough so there was clipping for 20 minutes of the 35 minute episode. Completely unusable. AND I was worried my sister would be disappointed. Straight up almost got teary that night. Luckily she didn't seem that affected by it. I think I'm more invested in it than she is, haha... Feel better!
I hope things get better JT. The worse feeling ever is no feeling... numbness, being so beat up that you refuse to feel. - although this week you might disagree. I guess that's why drugs and alcohol are so popular - to create the numbness that sits behind the euphoria. and as usual, I'm probably wrong. Maybe hopelessness is worse than numbness.
I would like to take a moment and publicly thank lil Who was instrumental in helping me craft a better version of my professional resume. Your attention to detail is pretty fantastic. Thanks!
Next week I will be helping to interview people for my current position on campus. Very exciting because I've never been on the other side of things and I think it will be a valuable experience for picking out things I should start doing in interviews and finding out what I already do well. Reviewing other peoples resumes was interesting enough too. I was surprised at how many of the applicants had poorly formatted or structured resumes (thanks to _refugee_ for helping to clean mine up a while back). One of my newer friends professed to having a crush on me last year (we weren't friends at that time), but never doing anything about it because she felt I'm unapproachable. After some discussion it's because I come off as uncaring and uninterested in making small talk and talking to people in general, which isn't too far off from the truth...but now I'm wondering how many missed opportunities there have been because of that. Sigh.
Question for hubski: does anyone else get 100 million times more nervous interviewing than being interviewed? I don't get nervous when it's me on the line, but I'm always worried for the people I have to bring in for stuff. I just don't want them to be uncomfortable and I know a lot of people are during interviews. It's not nerves, exactly, just dread or too much empathy or something.
It is very rare for opportunities to truly be lost, especially those between people. It is hard work to burn something. She may still be a little interested. If you don't like small talk (and talking in general apparently - whooo) then why perform small talk in order to attract someone who presumably likes small talk in general or likes it specifically with you? The danger of changing a preference in order to be more attractive is that unfortunately, you attract people who like the "new you" - which may not be you at all - more like "you trying to be attractive" you.
Nah, she's got a boyfriend now and even if she didn't I'm leaving soon so nope nope nope. I just...people are interesting but expending the energy to talk to people and get to know them isn't something I'm ever going to go far out of my way to do because it's hard to find reasons to care enough to do so. Talking to all of y'all on Hubski is one thing but in person and all that is something entirely different. Not planning on changing it's just a "what if" thought experiment. Why the "whooo"?
Up early today. doing some kiddie gigs with the university orchestra. Got my scholarship offer from CIM, it's good, but i'm not sure if it's good enough for me to go. Apparently I can ask for more, but I don't know exactly how to do that, or if I'll get more.
Hi <financial aid office,> I'm a prospective student at Blahblah. I've been accepted and recently, I received my letter of financial aid. I am very appreciative of the offer that has been made. I could not attend (whatever) without this. I'm especially glad that Blahblah is a school that understands the needs of its students and works to meet them. However, I am worried that even with the financial aid I was granted, I may not be able to enroll in this program. Is there any way that you help me? I really (list specific financial concerns here. List if you would be down to TA/RA. List if you would be willing to do an assistanceship or work at a relevant institution at your college - for instance, english major, you could work at the english learning lab or the paper writing help center, if they have one. If you want straight grants/only money, only ask for that. Is it public in-state or out-of-state - see if they can give you in state tuition rates.) I have heard a LOT about programs (especially grad programs but whatever) being flexible and willing to step forward with more assistance - but you have to ask. Remember, there is no negative to asking. They will not suddenly kick you out of their school if you ask. The worst they can do is say no. And no one will judge you for seeming greedy or anything. This is part of the financial aid office's every day obligations. DO IT. Either nothing changes, or something improves as a result.
Really, it's because I'm frustrated with my brother's reluctance to ask his school if they can do anything more for him in terms of financial aid. :) He is worried it will reflect negatively on him somehow. I understand the feeling - went to a new job this year and didn't ask for a raise because because - but it can't possibly. I don't think he or coffee or anyone should feel ashamed of asking for this kind of help. SACRET I AM ROBOT I KB 2.0 I WILL RAPLACE
In the words of my Friend, my Spirit animal, Jack Shachner, I sent an email to my prospective teacher asking if the person for whom I already have contact info is the person I should be emailing. I'll definitely be using your sample here as part of my letter. Thanks Ref.Remember, there is no negative to asking. They will not suddenly kick you out of their school if you ask. The worst they can do is say no. And no one will judge you for seeming greedy or anything. This is part of the financial aid office's every day obligations. DO IT. Either nothing changes, or something improves as a result.
Can't hurt, might help.
Hey, fear can keep us up all night, but faith makes a damn fine pillow. You got this.
My family lives in Warsaw and Wroclaw. I spent the first two weeks in Wroclaw, visited the city twice and spend the rest of the time at home going for runs in the woods, playing with the kids and preparing for my interview. For easter, my family gathers in Janske Lazne, a little town in the northern part of the Czech Republic. In summer, it looks like this And this is how it looked like from the top of the Cerna Hora (translated: black mountain) during our easter hike :) After easter I went to visit the rest of the family in Warsaw. Met up with a polish burner that is coming to the regional israeli burn this year and had one intense day of being a tourist. We were so lucky with the weather! Of course, I had to check out the Palace of Culture and Science, a gift from soviet Russia to the polish people. It is a nice contrast to the sky scrapers around it, posing as the centre of the business area of Warsaw Here is a view from the top The rest of the days I spent playing football with the children and drinking heavily with my uncles. Alcohol is hard to avoid in Poland...
Well my trip report summed it up the best. Link for the lazy Back to school this morning. It's an odd feeling to go from respected classical music powerhouse back to just another undergrad. Also I've got this weird feeling that there are people missing from campus. Everything seems underpopulated compared to the constant shoulder to shoulder of New York.