It has since been replaced with a kenwood that managed to switch-hit between an iPhone and an Android such that it was giving directions from Android, answering calls from Android and playing music from iPhone. All in all, pretty damn impressive. But for some dumb reason, the radio appears to not be connected to the antenna. 'sokay. I gotta put a couple cameras in anyway so I'll prolly fix it then.
Dood! I'm psyched for you. Wish I was there. Raise a glass and toast to me selling this house quickly, please. Enjoy the journey.
I've been going for the jugular on a $2 billion science project. Submitted the first article of my career to the most prestigious journal in my field. Reviewer #1 recommended immediate publication, but Reviewer #2 recommended I question the worth of my existence, which is hard to find the time to do when you're still TA'ing and taking a very demanding class. Meanwhile, America continues down a dark path. In the distant future, they'll talk about how the internet's disruption to the flow of information riled up our society until we just about tore ourselves apart. Stay safe out there.
Lecture: I wasn't expecting more than twenty people to show up, got seventy-four. Most seemed to be from three high schools that aren't far from uni, but I hadn't surveyed them, just recognised some of the teachers. It went pretty well. The Q&A session afterwards took almost half as long as the lecture itself. I also received an email with a long-form question. Wanted to puke from stress after it was all over. Good thing those are only once a month. Don't take me wrong - I enjoyed it. But it is very exhausting and takes me about fifteen times longer to prepare than to deliver the lecture. 'Dating' (or rather Books, considering): I got stood up. Again. Wish people would stop doing that. My expectations are so low that I'm taking Durant with me to dates. The reasoning is that in the worst case I'll look like a wannabe intellectual, whereas in the best case I will not feel as bad about wasting time. She didn't call or answer. Might as well wait for a bit longer, right? After two hours and the Roman conquest of Greece, I went back home. I hope to finish reading volume 3 (and perhaps start 4th?) before the mid-terms. State of mind: I'm done trying to be social. At least for a while. Even disregarding my last few 'dates', I can't stop thinking that it's a pointless exercise. I've been forcing myself to engage more with other people for around five months now, and it doesn't look like I got any better.
No results after 5 months? Honestly, it seems like you might be looking in the wrong place. It’s not necessarily you « not getting any better ». A big part of finding cool people to hang out with, was finding « my people ». Like, friend wise most importantly. And then keep growing that circle through friends of friends. I remember only getting along really superficially with people in university. But now I realize it’s because they were just not my kind of people.
Implemented an algorithm from a paper, got invited out to drinks tonight by the author. Makes this a real pubski, rather than a labski, day for me! Also, met with my adviser to discuss human patient data, kept calling our samples "animals". Old habits die hard?
The American Rock Photography Job is coming to an end this week. Shoutout to kleinbl00 for the photo tips :) Flying back home this Friday and I can't wait. I miss my boyfriend, my friends, my family a little (they visited me just 2 weeks ago) and we're moving! I fear I'm gonna spend all that hard earned money on decorating, so someone stop me. Was considering on splurging on some nice sheets. Am I a victim of advertising, or do nice sheets really make a difference?
Nice sheets do make a difference, but there's a point of diminishing returns at 400, and a point of false advertising at 500 or so. Cotton is cotton, percale cotton is a little smoother, "bamboo viscose" is effectively polyester made out of bamboo, satin is a commitment and flannel ceases to make sense at first thaw. My wife loves jersey sheets. They're basically a t-shirt for your bed. You should be able to get anything for less than $100 for a queen set. The more heavily colored the sheets, the less they breathe (in my experience).
I was looking for some good percale sets. My problem is that 200$ seems a lot for some sheets. But then again, the crappy static-y Wal Mart set is like 50$. I never realized how much things cost back when I was living with my parents. My first shock was trying to find a pepper grinder not made of plastic back when I moved out. It was either 1$ at the dollar store or 35$ at the fancy store. It's hard to find a good middle ground sometimes. I think i'll just pay up. I'm a sucker for nice things... Might as well enjoy it while I have the money.
Just to be on the safe side, I over spend on anything that connects me to the Earth: shoes, tires, mattress,/sheets, desk chair, camping pad, etc.
$200 is too much for sheets. Looks like bedbathandbeyond.ca has any number of queen sets in the 300tc range for $80. On a related note I was going to suggest a William Bounds commercial pepper mill but Amazon.ca has them for like $180 which is dope-smoking prices. And apparently they don't make mine anymore because they are savages.
All-in-all, October could have been summed up last week, and this month has been a roller coaster. School I think we're finally back on the track with the academic schedule post-Irma. Forgot to mark in an exam date changed and had to make a spontaneous cram session of the week. Waiting on some grades back still, but so far, looks like it all paid off with the marks I got back. GIS is getting hype with the tools we are learning that allow us to meld, juxtapose, and format multiple data layers that end up in the output. Still impressed with the amount of land-use data we are using in examples so far, especially land parcels. I guess thats the nature of my professor's work, though. Romance Welp, the third date was fine at best, shaky at worst. Getting on and off ghosted is flat frustrating and not ok, though. I guess I expected the maturity to (1) let me know if something was wrong or (2) flat out say they weren't interested anymore. Dragging that on makes no sense to me, nor do I see a benefit for either one... Grateful to have a local community of people that show up for me and hold space - modeling that made it obvious to me I won't tolerate making excuses for the former. Square 1. Hello.
I'm afraid the general rule is "If in doubt, they're probably a time waster", but then it's not exactly easy to tell. I hope it works out for you, dude. Which it will, either way.
Agreed. She had given the heads up that there were serious projects for her in the (then) coming couple weeks, yet I figured 3 weeks worth of benefit of the doubt after the third date was generous - where we are now. When it came down to it, I would have settled for at least some reciprocation when it came to making plans for later during that time period or a week after. Deflections without follow up for alternatives is a bit disheartening. Overall, I'm with you though. Here's to the next go around working out.but then it's not exactly easy to tell.
Here's the cold, hard truth: It's easier, psychologically, to not confront people. It's harder, socially, for kids these days to confront people. Yeah, it's shitty to ghost but it's not like she needs you to have a good opinion of her. Don't expect people who aren't into you to treat you with common courtesy. We don't live in that society anymore. Do not confuse a lack of social signals that were last en vogue in the '90s to guide you in your travels.
Even people who do like you (platonically or otherwise) will miss this, aware of it or not. Struggling with this very much right now, thanks Sherry Turkle...Don't expect people who aren't into you to treat you with common courtesy. We don't live in that society anymore.
Here's the funny thing tho The more self-esteem you have, the easier it is to deliver bad news to someone else. The more self-esteem you have, the more likely you are to date other people with self-esteem. It's almost like the people who schlub you like that are schlubs, and if you don't want to be schlubbed, don't date schlubs. I recognize that the pool is often shallow, and we seek any port in a storm. But there are better people out there, and they treat people better as a matter of course. If you can convince yourself you're worthy of their attentions, you are.
Edited for clarity. Meant it has been 3 weeks of benefit of the doubt and not much talk, etc. For now, I'm definitely not interested, but open to revisit after a while. She's totally new to the area and into outdoor adventures. Once the weather cools down, I thought canoeing in nearby springs would be nice, if ever.
Slightly panicking. No wait: I have about a month to finish my thesis and I still have to make fixes to my code and still have to write like 50+ pages and also have to decide what to do with my life (or at least narrow my options down) and have to make a few dozen maps and graphs and it has to all be good and one of the workstations I use imploded and I got selected for the PhD but maybe this PhD topic is not as good as it seems or am I not as good as I think? so aaaAAAA PANIC. I think I'll survive, but I'm gonna need more coffee, bartender.
for what it's worth... I don't think you should put that kind of pressure on yourself. For now, just think about "what's next?". You're not about to get on some irreversible course of life. You're a badass mamajamma. You've got skillz. You're published. You're going to come out on top - absolutely.and also have to decide what to do with my life
Thanks, Steve! I try my best. :) Deep down I know it's not irreversible...but whatever I choose, it's a commitment and it's gonna upend a lot in my life. And I don't know what I want, what 'on top' look like. It thus feels like a super important decision with lots of uncertainty and self-doubt, which is fodder for the worrying part of my brain (even though I am happy and lucky to have more than one good option). Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...
I had to come to the realization that my best work is done under ridiculous time crunches. I used to tell clients I'd have their work for them in three weeks. Then spend 2 weeks and 4 days doing anything else, and panicking two days before the deadline and pounding out the work. The worst part of that model is that I spent the better part of two weeks in a funk, feeling like shit about myself, calling myself an asshole for not doing the client's work, and picking myself to pieces. Then I started promising the work "by Friday", or "on Monday". The client's eyes would pop open. They'd say "which month?!?" and I'd reply, "THIS WEEK." Then I'd deliver brilliant work to them, in blazing-fast time, and - guess what? - they'd give me more work. And pay up front for it. Right this moment, I am looking at 9 projects I have to deliver by next Friday. I have a severe head cold. I can't think. But I also know that it will be crunch-time every single day next week, and I will do good work, and it will get done on time. It's weird. I know. But it works for me. And I don't spend weeks beating myself up for being a useless shit - BONUS!
I know more than a few students who have the same workflow - regularly pulling allnighters, or just being caffeine-fueled stress machines. (It's not usually brilliant work, though...) I can't imagine keeping that crunch going for years though! But if it works, and if it pays off, why not? The panic has been motivating me as well. But unlike you, I need that pressure only to get me going. If I don't feel legitimate pressure I have a hard time starting my day productively. Once I get in a flow, I can just continue working until I get tired.
Yeah, caffeine-fueled all-nighters are not my idea of being in "crunch time". That's just Bad Planning. When I think of giving myself short deadlines, I'm thinking about "oh gosh, can I really get this done in 1 or 2 eight-hour long days?" While also getting a full night's sleep, walking the dog, making and eating food, etc. So it is a sustainably tight schedule that I did keep up for years. (And, in fact, am doing right this moment... I have two big proposals due tomorrow, and a full day's work to get them done. So I'm pretty much right on schedule to have a good, productive, busy, and focused day! :-)
The longer your perceived timescale the poorer your perspective on any given situation. Think in terms of "before bed" "tomorrow" "by the weekend" "by next week" "by next month" "by next year" and recognize that the effort you put at the close end of the timeline points the far end in the direction it needs to go.
I slept for a solid 6 hours last night which is my new record ever since I stopped being able to sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time like 2 months ago. The plan was to get super baked and pass out but instead I told myself I would just smoke after the first time I woke up. Apparently that was enough to calm some anxiety and get 6 glorious hours of continuous sleep. Followed that up by seeping all day now, god damn. Now I’ve got to start working out until I collapse to calm the remaining anxiety. On one hand, having to work out to function mentally is a little annoying and on the other I guess it’s solid motivation to stay in shape.
Of all the things I could possibly suck at, I chose sleeping and breathing. My sleep is a disaster. 4-5 hours a night is a victory, most nights its 3 good hours. When I was a very young man, I slept 2 hours a night and was fine. I had teachers and family freak out when I could go 2-3 days with no sleep, then get a 4-5 hour nap/sleep and be ready to rock and roll again. Then you crash and sleep 10-12 hours and does that help? lol. The opposite of that. 8 hours of sleep wipes me out for a day.
Sick Honeymoon was amazeballz. Just fantastic. The lingering flu/head cold ever since? Not so much. Music I'm pretty fired up about starting a punk band. Old school punk, ranging from Fear, Stiff Little Fingers, Descendents, PotUSA, The Damned, The Runaways, The Sonics, etc. The idea is that everyone in the band (maybe a 4-piece?) is over 50 years old. So we are called "Pissed and 50", or "Pissdy", or "Pi55ed", or "Fed Up and 50", or something playing on the idea that shit today is fucked up, and we are gonna sing and make noise about it. Interesting thing is that, for the first time in my life, I am a songwriter. I'm actually writing both words and music! Which is weird. Usually I am a bass player, and a collaborator. I take other people's good ideas for songs, and help them massage them into actually good songs. Now, I seem to be writing songs. I'm still adjusting to that fact. So I bought a Telecaster (Modern Player version, with the extra Stratocaster pickup), and a Vox tube amp (VT40x), and an extra-long guitar strap, so I can hang the guitar down low and look the part. Sorta... My friend has a rehearsal space for basically $10/hr in the south end of Seattle, so I'm gonna post a message to some friends and see who shows up. Maybe it'll be a thing. Maybe I'll bring down Trump with my insightful lyrics and powerful chord structures. And maybe I'll just have an outlet for my punk urges. We shall see...
Stiff Little Fingers. I'm the only one in real life that I am aware of that has even heard that band exists. I wish I could have seen them live. (looks online) OH SHIT THEY STILL EXIST. Now I have to look for a US tour. I think Hubski needs to take a listen.
I've been in Spokane, WA to meet with a friend. Leaving tonight. I also had plans for a job interview but it fell through, so it just became a vacation. It's been a ton of fun, ate a lot of good food, read a lot of things on paper and saw a lot of pretty places. Spokane has the color red in the fall, Anchorage does not. Enough said. I don't really drink much, but last night I met a few locals who kept buying me drinks because it was my last night in town. I had something called an Irish Trashcan. The appropriate number of this to drink is 0. I had 2, on top of whatever I was drinking I ended up projectile vomiting and spending 20 minutes cleaning up vomit off of the art in the single person bathroom. Thank god that they were canvas prints and not originals. I've never had a good alcohol story. I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to tell another one in my life. Super geeky thing: I found my new favorite pinball machine at that bar. I got a (third place) high score on my first time ever playing it, and left a second one on the machine while wasted- I'm hella proud of that. I'm not good at planning or very accurate in my shots, which makes me really bad at machines with wide open fields (Terminator 2, Medieval Madness), but I'm really good at live catching and ball control. Pirates of the Carribean has a dead simple jackpot system and a lot of multiball opportunities, which makes it a dream machine for me- pure mindless fun.
I have a Chick Tract on my desk given to me by a very nice lady the other week. It's called "Soul Survivor." It is absolutely charming and if I didn't know that these things are serious, I would have considered this to be one of the best parodies ever written. I will treasure it until I somehow accidentally lose it in a pile of paperwork. Texted Dala that the way the world is going, I'm seriously considering becoming an ascetic. For some reason, my phone auto corrected it to aesthetic. I now have two radically different but equally compelling options into how I'm gonna re-write my life. The only question is, how does one exactly pursue becoming an aesthetic?
Here's a classic that has some charmingly hilarious idiocy https://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp I wonder if it's better than the movie
rover gonna rove It was a nice surprise to find out popular science picked up on a news release from JPL about the work I + feed extended drilling team have been hammering out since June: http://www.popularmechanics.com/space/moon-mars/news/a28765/curiositys-drill-is-finally-about-to-be-fixed/ I'm still geeking out about this because it's a magazine I've been reading since I was little. So even if my name isn't mentioned just the fact that something I've directly been working on is being talked about omg. Finally done wading through the drilling sequence for now... though it's probably going to change a few more times. At least now I have the architecture figured out in my mind so I can start mapping that out in some visual way and subsequently figuring out what needs testing next month. Otherwise work is going well. We had a crazy drive planning day yesterday since the sol plan got pulled at the last minute after some unusual data came down (dirt in a weird spot), which meant lots of work for me and the other strategic planner outlining relevant data to look at later and where we think things will go over the weekend (spoiler: it kept changing until our answer basically became ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). It was super fun though; first time there has been so much action for me on strategic planning :D There are some cool panoramas from where we are on the ridge currently, so once those get past ITAR I'll share them. Zelda Fiance and I have been 100% addicted to Zelda Breath of the Wild this week since he got a Nintendo Switch. It's such an open ended, relaxing, beautiful game. Very different from the other Zelda games, but in the best way possible. Highly recommended for anyone looking for a new game addiction. Spoiler - you can ride the bears... very carefully.
I'm just tired. Like, really tired. And have been having this throat thing going on, hope it's something relatively simple like a thyroid disorder. Was going to go on a run today but don't feel capable of it, already overslept today and was late to work and yaaaaaaaaaawn. Something's not quite right.
I suggest not fighting it when you need a reset. Better to crash at the end of a week or two-week grind, and throw out the sunk cost for a fresh start tomorrow, than spend the whole month hating yourself for not meeting your goals. Source: me leading up to a 14-hour nap at 6pm last Saturday night.
buuuuuuuuut paaaaaaaaaaaaabs Forced tapers are the worst.
WORK Still defining myself too much by my job. Not sure what to do with that feeling at present. I recognize that in the long term it's untenable. My boss has been conducting research in more or less the same manner for the last 20 years. Sometimes, I think he forgets that his long-standing personal preferences are not in fact codified law ingrained into every research coordinator the day they are hired. I am also starting to feel like there is a stigma attached to wearing a patient advocate hat on top of the researcher one. Several of my patients have to drive plural hours to come see us. Of that group, most have a spouse or child who is also seen at one of our other specialty clinics. There's a stated hospital policy to attempt to combine schedules of appointments so that patients don't have to make plural trips in the same week to see different doctors. In theory, this means that physicians and clinics flex so that if a patient was scheduled for the 29th, but their spouse has a higher-priority appointment/procedure on the 30th, we do all of their testing/procedures on the 30th. In practice, I get emails going 'Can the patient come in on the 29th anyway to better fit my schedule?' and I want to reply in nasty italics 'Sure, let me ask them if they are cool with a four, three hour one way drives in two days.' Instead, I inhale, exhale, and list out the itinerary for the patient and their family member and do my best to make things work. I think it's obvious that I'm trying to prioritize patient wellbeing, however I am afraid that this is coming across like I don't care about my physicians obligations. Hard to balance the two, and harder still to feel bad about trying to make the lives of sick people easier. Body I'm finding it too easy to just not eat all day. In theory, I'm trying to only eat between the hours of 8AM and 8 PM. In practice, I drink black coffee from 8-3, maybe eat a banana, work out on an empty stomach, eat dinner too late, then grab junk food right before bed, the one time when I should definitely not be putting stuff in my stomach. Due to her midterms, we slacked off on yoga for a few weeks, maybe practicing once every 3 days. Now that midterms are over, it's time to get back on the horse. The longest routine we do with any regularity is about 40 minutes. I want to see if I can make an hour my new norm. It's better to do some exercise, than try and fail to do a lot of exercise, but there is a point where I need to make an honest assessment of my progress and commit to developing, rather than maintaining my practice. When I started yoga, my goal was to comfortably touch my toes. Now that I can (sort of?) comfortably stand on my palms, I need a new, more challenging goal. My legs need the work badly enough to make full lotus a worthy pursuit, maybe that will be it. Spoopy Stuff Supposed to go to a Halloween party on Saturday. The RPS has to work, so I'd be going alone, and the only costume I have is our couples costume (Cosmo and Wanda from Fairly OddParents, She's Cosmo, I'm Wanda). Probably gonna stay home, watch scary movies, play Stellaris and drink. We have a pumpkin sitting by the doorway, gonna carve it tomorrow night. She's excited to be artistic, I'm excited to eat pumpkin seeds roasted with pumpkin spice, because redundantly-named foods make me happy. Brain I keep re-experiencing this particular sensation in new ways, and it's a strange one. The feeling of 'I'm going to be kind of okay.' When I say that, I mean that I frequently freak myself out over small things, and then realize 'Wait, this was this way before I freaked out. It's still going to be this way. I can choose to not freak out about this.' but it keeps coming in all these small ways that I wouldn't expect. I'm still seeking out needless arguments, but maybe I do it a little less, maybe I recognize that I'm under no obligation to keep arguing and can drop things faster.
Well as veen said in the last Pubski I was in Amsterdam last weekend, but my brain was still a bit too stretched out to post about it. When in Rome, do as the other visitors to Rome do - and it's hard to tell people what we got up to because my mind was almost constantly chemically impaired. It's a weird little city - weirder perhaps because its weirdness is normal and out in the open. We smoked a fair bit, and had several brownies (which I think I prefer, because smoking marijuana makes me sneeze for some reason). We also tried truffles at one point - a fairly low dosage out of caution, having never tried it before - which led to a twenty minute episode of me laughing at a hamburger. No strange visions, just a great mood and an inability to laugh as much or as loud as I wanted to. I was actually worried when I got back that I'd never be compos mentis again, but I'm back to normal and back to plain old coffee and cigarettes. For my friend it kind of sucked; I have an incredibly low tolerance for weed, and as a result would become high quickly and stay that way for hours, while it took a lot more for her to feel anything and it didn't last as long. She also had to go through the weird and unpleasant - almost "non-edible" - truffles for a fat lot of nothing. I must have stolen her brain receptors somehow. But we had fun - lots of wandering about the maze of canals; I never had as much fun meandering about a city. Went to a couple of museums, to some parks, to a big old windmill with a pub and a couple of places outside the centre (twice we were told we had come out to the "real" Amsterdam, so there's that.) Oh, at one point we were wandering through a market and I saw a copy of Cloud Atlas for sale; it was only €1. I hadn't read it in years, and though I have to say it feels a little overwrought I'm enjoying reading it again. Anyway, this was written on the inside cover: I have no idea what it says, but I love little things like that in books, even if I never write in my own for some reason. I would've done a proper trip report about what we got up to with photos, but I've probably said enough and my friend was the designated photographer so I only have a couple of snaps at the moment. Other than that I have little in the way of news, but no complaints either.
Thanks Veen! I think I might append your translation to the book. I guess Skayne wasn't particularly taken by the book - or perhaps he/she had a dramatic falling out with this Elske figure, and had to get rid of it to forget. A mystery we'll never know the answer to! It reminds me of a possibly apocryphal story about George Bernard Shaw, who found a copy of one of his own plays in a second-hand shop, and discovered it was a copy he himself had given to a friend with the inscription "With esteem, G B Shaw." So he bought and sent it to them again, adding "With renewed esteem, G B Shaw."
Anyone dressing up for a Halloween party these next few days?
Believe it or not I actually saw a couple do this yesterday! It's a great idea!
That's a great couples costume! Good for y'all!
At procedures in Orinda this morning. Office hours at YC tonight. I have some half-finished paintings in storage here. Last night I was in my hotel room in Daly City, painting clouds on a desk. StJohn let me know if you fancy the Hi-Dive later. No PB&Js, promise.
work Vacation starts today! Hell. Yes. My full time supervisor tried to dick me out of the first two days, but I'm better at office politics than he is. union stuff Time to vote for the local leadership. It's disheartening because my current local leadership supports Hoffa, but they're also pretty competent. And because they support Hoffa, we've got an outsized representation. Multiple people on national negotiating committees for the upcoming UPS contract. On the other hand, that doesn't mean shit if they aren't willing to push the envelope... 3d printer I've learned enough of FreeCAD to know that I don't like it. Had to reinstall my system because the linux distro I was using didn't have an operational OpenSCAD package. Greetings from Ubuntu 17.10! I now have OpenSCAD, and can get back to tweaking the Mini Kossel parts to accept v-slot. concert I'll have seen Gogol Bordello by this time next week. 1,700 people venue. Very excited.
I got a surface tablet because the hard ware is cool - but I got it under the guise of doing more art. Whenever I sit down to draw I realize I'm kind of embarrassed. I think I just need to get over it because I need to do something creative or I'm going to continue my slow transformation into a human lump. Work is also a bit of a roller coaster - the good news is we got a cool new tool, the bad news is I'm the only one excited about it. The same thing happened with training, so I guess I'll do the same thing - build the whole system and sell the shit out of it. I think I should start my own company and turn my work ethic into real money. We're talking about starting a family and I don't know if I want to forever be someone else's worker.
My now ex girlfriend keeps finding reasons to contact me. It kinda ruins my day because it has a tendency to make me cry in public no matter the subject. I let her know how bad she hurt me the other day. There was anger and sobbing and weeping. It was a bad night. And I didn't sleep so it was a bad Tuesday also but at least I didn't have to work. I slept for about ten hours last night which was apparently not enough. Apparently depression can cause body aches which I didn’t know but is a fun fact. Or a fact anyway...
When I get in my depressive bouts I want to sleep all the time, I guess because it's easier to shut down. The only thing that really helped me at the time was running. I'm not a runner, I don't run any more, and I never really liked running - but I struck this bargain with myself: I could feel as bad as I needed for as long as I wanted, as long as I ran this mile loop once a day. It got to the point where I just needed to run every day. I don't know if that's helpful, but in my experience it was that one little obligation that saved me.
Is therapy an option? I don't know if it has a stigma in your life, but it was helpful for me. Also, I get the urge to drink and I know that can be a hard fight. Have you thought about a group like AA? I don't know your situation or what you've tried before but try running when you wake up. I mean, if you're drinking when you wake up you're already putting your body through the ringer. If you want to forget just push yourself to run until you throw up (very doable). If you want a distraction, try to focus on your breathing. Don't set a goal to run x miles or for y minutes or anything else - start with the basics and set a goal to get out and run. Just get out of your bed, get out of your house, and run. Don't set a goal to stop drinking, to stop thinking, to stop communications - do whatever, I don't care - just set a goal to get out of your house once a day and run.
AA is folk medicine bullshit. I go to a lot of meetings and it's mostly garbage. I'm on step 10 and 1-9 made me feel shitty and I can't complain because I'll just be told I did it wrong. I'm trying to get through so I can help people using my critical thinking skills instead of cult tactics and guilt. I haven't been drinking and I'm trying to get into counseling but it's slow and frustrating. Staying hammered is my historical strategy and it's very effective until you have to be sober or otherwise deal with another human.
Hired a plebe (freshman) to pick up my food deliveries to maximize performance during evening studies. Death Wish Coffee Company has my heart, those fuckers make some maniacally strong coffee.