I'm following this stupid powerlifting programme because I'm a stupid powerlifter and I worry that I cannot eat enough to fuel my poor ravaged body. At the end of the first designated movement I've shifted over 4 tonnes in total and then there's even more stupid things to do afterwards. Bloody hell it works though, the numbers are shooting up. I realize this site isn't a rugby place however last weekends international match got me thinking about growth - the NZ rugby team, the All Blacks, are well and truly the best team in the world and have been for some time now. We experienced a rare loss to a wonderful South Africa side over the weekend and somehow, I felt really happy for the winners. They played with such passion and displayed so much emotion when the whistle blew I really just couldn't feel sour about the loss. The tackle count was ridiculous - a very free flowing, evenly fought match might have both teams making around 90-100 tackles each. In this match, South Africa made close to 250, compared to NZ's 46. Which means not only did South Africa pull off a rare win, they did so while barely having possession and being pummelled for the full 80 minutes. I wonder if I am just on board with the match being so intense and South Africa so thoroughly deserving that it's eclipsed any chance of me handling a loss poorly. I used to be sour for a week or two in the face of a loss, it would mean a lot. I think it still means as much as it ever did but I'm able to look at it from another perspective. I am finally less of a child. Ohh I've started making vegetarian meals more often - they're pretty fun and rewarding. Making a nice tikka masala (with potatoes in place of chicken) tonight. Anyway life and work chugging on as per usual, hope you're all fine and dandy.
Today is my second full day off since August 26. I've flown 8,000 miles since then, been home twice, been to a Killing Joke show and a trade show in Chicago. Sunday I button up my life down here (for the fifth time!), get on a plane, have half a day with my family and begin 21 credits of school. Mondays are gonna be killer; I've got two hours off between 7am and 9:30pm. But hey it's 5 credits less than last quarter. I realized in Chicago that much of my hatred of Los Angeles is where I stay. Simply having a hotel room for two nights gave me defensible space. I told a friend that in my "other life" I drive a Porsche and am married to a hot doctor. Down here I ride a bicycle through Silent Hill to stay in a room barely big enough for a bed and share a bathroom with a 350lb schlub who broke the toilet by sitting on it too hard and gave me athlete's foot of the palm when I cleaned his hair out of the drain in the shower (which is only cold for 30 seconds; fucking SUCKS when you're biking 16mi through 100 degree weather). He left the stove on last week, unlit. It's a good thing I'm sensitive to whatever odorant they put in natural gas because I woke up choking at 4am. I really hate Los Angeles. Soon I will be able to walk barefoot without my soles turning black. I will be able to cool the room by opening a window. And I will be able to eat decent cheese without flying it a thousand miles in my carry-on. It's 1 in the afternoon. I got up at 8. I've been ploughing through my inbox, listening to Birthday Massacre and watching the Tofino livecam to remind me what it looks like where I actually want to be. My life is truly blessed - I have more "free time" than all the members of the average fantasy football pool combined. Yet I fill it completely. Statistically speaking, most people struggle to make ends meet. I struggle to maintain my airline mileage status so I don't have to sit with the people who struggle to make ends meet. I don't know whether to feel guilty or accomplished. I'm trying to get out of here without buying more groceries. I have two boxes of mac'n'cheese, eight tortillas, half a pound of cheese and a packet of trail mix filched from work. And 24/7 catering for the next three days and the ready ability to eat Uber Eats every meal from now until December if I chose to live that way. Don't cry for me Argentina. Sunday morning I will drink champagne. Monday morning my real life begins again.
I got the job. No, not that one, this one. The one that I already had. The executive leadership team heard I was looking elsewhere and actively interviewing, and stepped up their schedule to give me my long-overdue review. And my new manager stepped up and worked with me to create a new role, with a broader scope, management responsibilities, staff for me in next year's budget, and a career path. And a $15k/year raise, with another increase scheduled next year. Work is pretty dang good. ---- I think I have finally - after going through 6 motorcycles in 5 years - figured out what type of riding I do nowadays, and the type of motorcycle that fits me. This is my sport-touring bike (1991 Honda ST1100) I am getting ready to sell: And these are the two bikes I am currently looking at: Yamaha Royal Star Tour Deluxe - Indian Scout 60 - Gotta take em for rides, find the right one for sale, etc. But these seem to fit the type of rider I am nowadays. It's been 40+ years of riding, and I've pretty much had every other type of bike out there! So maybe it's time for me to have a grandad bike.
I'/m thrilled for you man! That's fantastic. about time... and now that you've got management responsibilities, you get to do the same for your top performers! Super happy for you goobster. we spend enough time in these job things... we might as well try to eek out some enjoyment.figured out what type of riding I do nowadays, and the type of motorcycle that fits me.
my new manager stepped up
Work is pretty dang good.
There's some kind of supercrud out there. I went from "huh, it kinda aches when I chew" to "I don't have time to bike to the urgent care, I won't be able to stand in about 45 minutes" within about six hours. Got to urgent care, got an intramuscular pain killer, got some oral antibiotics and my eardrum burst of its own accord about 6 hours later. I also have a uselessly high pain tolerance. I have a scar in my palm where I put a cigarette out in it to see if I could and another on my back where I leaned against a nail in a sauna long enough to get a 2nd degree burn without much discomfort. I also have a grandfather who died of gangrene when the capsaicin cream they put on his leg gave him chemical burns before it restored sensation so I'm not particularly macho about it. And I've had a couple-three ear infections that just rose up out of nowhere. Not sure where the hell it's from, but there's something nasty that likes eustachian canals.
Huh - I've got a specialist appointment (my third in 6 months) about my ears. They can't quite figure out what's going on. Intermittent ear pain, off balance when standing or walking but none of the normal test indicate an inner ear issue. Reading these gave me some hope for an answer before I realized I have a very regular pain threshold. My brother is a hemophiliac and knows pain well, I however am not accustomed and will let everyone know about it so I guess that's one option crossed out.
-I have a job -I need a car -I have plans for a retreat for New Years. -I finally have a phone -I am able to sleep in and pamper myself All in all, it's been good. Also, I have been listening to Iranian music this week.
I am heartbroken. I just lost the love of my life.
Hubski is more or less the extent of my social network use right now. And I'm barely on here. - Since I last popped in, I made some kimchi. Turns out it is really easy to do. My only complaint is there was too much daikon in this batch. At least for my tastes. I'm also fermenting some habaneros right now, which will be turned into sauce here in a couple of days. - I've started* playing Gemstone IV, which is a MUD. My wife has played for years, and I've picked it up since it kinda scratches that dnd itch. My character is Krogdur, an aged giant-man ranger who came to the city after a life in the woods to commit some eco-terrorism. But then he found the pie shop. Now he mostly just procrastinates while eating pie in the city park. * Am on haitus until I manage to get a good setup that works with linux. I hate rebooting into windows, but the game's 3rd party tools are built around ruby 2.0, which went EOL 2 years ago. - I'm going to a wedding this weekend. Had to buy some clothes. Definitely had some sticker shock. Not just for the dress stuff either. I was gonna pick up a sweatshirt since my old one is dead, but fuck. For the prices they wanted at Kohls? It's probably Carhartt and Patagonia from here on out. - I'm pretty convinced by this point that we're voting down this contract proposal for work. Both the union and the company are pushing approval hard. If it doesn't pass, it'll probably on some technical maneuvering. I think there are some bylaws that they can use if the vote turnout is too low. Turn out is always low.
I keep mine for about the same reason. I really only see posts from things I've liked like the ACLU or The Onion and some anti AA groups I've joined. I was trying to troll some conservative groups with misattributed Nazi quotes but Facebook started to show me posts from those groups after an algorithm tweak I guess so that got old. Slap the name Ronnie Reagan on a Himmler quote and you can get a lot of fake internet points
Afternoon. Work is picking up. People are coming back from vacation, meaning we finally have problems to fix. I like fixing problems. Learning that having problems to work on & people to help is a very important component of my general satisfaction with life. This is also why I've started working at the bar in our dorm (volunteer basis; free drinks on shift). It's nice to be useful. I miss my drums. My roommate has a cajon, which he lets me borrow, but it's not the same. I find myself singing more, maybe as a substitute musical outlet. Fortunately, in October I'll start practicing with a friend's band, and see if we fit together. They have a kit. I can't wait. --- Last night at the bar, I was talking with two other Americans, and these two German girls came over and started talking with us. At some point I and the two of them switched to German, and after about 15 minutes, one of them guessed that I was half American & half Swiss, and the other one that I was German. This scenario is pretty much exactly what I envisioned as the "end goal" of my German (language) studies. Now I can fully focus on getting my Spanish up to par ;) --- Getting kind of low-level homesick, though, on a pretty consistent basis. Currently listening to Buck Meek's Texas twang and missing my state. And just like that, the lyrics playing right now: I'd goIf I could find a way back home
No update of substance, so here's an update of pure candy fluff. I'm making some cupcakes for a friends daughters birthday. Tonight I made some of the stuff that goes on top of the cupcakes. The youtube tutorial I was attempting to follow said that they are supposed to be succulents. My attempt tomorrow with a slightly looser icing might be a bit neater. These took a bit too much hand strength to be as tidy as I would like.
Update Full album: https://imgur.com/a/zgRZhZc Highlight reel
Struggleski. Had a large headache after two fairly bumpy flights yesterday, and a relationship argument because I A. Forgot to buy a concert ticket while I was on the East Coast, didn't think it would sell out, then it sold out. and B. Can't do dinner tonight because I was invited yesterday and already had plans for tonight and C. General issues with my availability. Went to a wedding. It was nice! One woman I've known since pre-school, marrying a man I've known since 6th grade. They were so excited I flew across the country for this, and I was glad I did. But, at the same time, I didn't have the feeling that a wedding is something I might ever want. Kids, I definitely don't think I want. Even an officiated wedding, though, doesn't give me any sort of emotion. Maybe it's a shortcoming, maybe it can be attributed to being 26, but those are two things I struggle to reconcile with being in a long-term relationship.
The important thing is not how you regard marriage, it's how society regards marriage. It's definitely a transformation - a subtle one, but a transformation nonetheless. Fundamentally, when you're married every acquaintance you make, casual or serious, presumes that your destiny is tied to another person. I suspect your current (healthy) attitude towards marriage is at least partially shaped by your current (healthy) attitude towards destiny: you don't have firm plans and goals so the idea of coordinating your plans and goals with another human being complicates things rather than simplifying them. Kids are the same way, in their own way. They're a collaborative project to expand and transform the partnership, fundamentally. Unfortunately society doesn't tell you this. "Do you want to have kids?" is a question completely divorced from "Are you interested in joining your life to someone else in a collaborative effort intended to better both your lives through decades of intimate, expensive, messy, inspirational and joyful struggle?" because if we phrased the question that way, everyone under about 35 these days would say "fuck to the no."
That's definitely part of it. I also grew up in a household which was persistently frayed and oft on the edge of divorce, grew up with friends who had parents going through divorce, and am currently friends with at least one person going through a divorce. The close proximity to the separation of tied destinies, I think, has also contributed to a mindset that doesn't view it as a leaning-towards-permanent, binding of two people into one, but as a more structured but just as apt to fall apart relationship. I wonder when that graph will level out....presumes that your destiny is tied to another person. I suspect your current (healthy) attitude towards marriage is at least partially shaped by your current (healthy) attitude towards destiny: you don't have firm plans and goals so the idea of coordinating your plans and goals with another human being complicates things rather than simplifying them.
Can relate. There comes a time where you begin to trust your internal compass more than your external influences. Everyone loves to say that half of all marriages end in divorce without noticing that means half of all marriages are truly til death do us part. 26 is also trading season - that's where the people who shouldn't have gotten married early figure out their mistakes and the people who knew better start to wonder what they were missing.I also grew up in a household which was persistently frayed and oft on the edge of divorce, grew up with friends who had parents going through divorce, and am currently friends with at least one person going through a divorce.
When I look at social institutions like marriage, weddings, etc. all I see is crumbling roman ruins. It seems as though we have to create our own meaningful events and ceremonies, cut and paste traditions like arts and crafts. Engagements are not typically very long in our culture- I intend for mine to last the better part of a decade, if not more. Create your own meaning bruh. That's the beauty of it, we get to decide.
Yup. That was what I thought at that age, too. Then I impulsively proposed to my girlfriend, and we were married for seven years. Then I almost got married again. Then I did get married again. Once you pull your head out of the "I'm sticking it to the MAN, man!" mindset, you realize it has nothing to do with the government, and everything to do with the person you love.
Huh, I don't view it that way as an institutional sticking it to the man. To me, it's just another day. I saw the two get married, and kept thinking that they were the same people yesterday as they'll be tomorrow. But then, that's how I feel about birthdays and most other things, too.
The trick is in getting everyone else to agree to the meaning of your own events and ceremonies. This is the fundamental value of traditions: they are cultural shorthand that allows strangers and acquaintances to place you in the social order without endless quizzing and interrogation. That's why the 'thumpers lose their fucking minds over gay marriage - "adam and eve not adam and steve" is the panicked howl of custom being slain by progress.It seems as though we have to create our own meaningful events and ceremonies, cut and paste traditions like arts and crafts.
"Everyone else" includes tax officials, loan officers, guys in line at the movie theater, and anyone attempting to sell you a couch. Your friends and family know what the fuck is between you and your RPS. The guy at Best Buy trying to sell you a laptop has no fucking clue unless she's wearing a ring.
I finally found my way to the outdoor gym that is quite near my house. It is quite a nice one and I had a good workout. I now have two types of exercise that i enjoy, swimming and this kind of obstacle-course-ish thing. I also went to the opticians. My eyes are apparently quite out of sync. I then had a migraine for two and a half days. I have an appointment tomorrow with someone who is more specialized in the problem that I have. So hopefully things will get solved soon, because I read a lot and use computers a lot and getting constant headaches is not fun.
Do you lap swim in a pool? I'm going to try to start swimming laps this weekend. I'm intimidated at trying something new in a public setting, but I really want to do it.
Yes, and I really like it. It is quite relaxing, you don't have to keep track of sets or exercises (if you don't want to). It trains the whole body without much effort, and just the feeling of weightlessness in the water is nice. People who swim laps at the pool range from people doing breaststroke with their head above the water to ex-competitive swimmers. So you'll probably not be out of place.
What a week! I've been super busy and I love it :) We did a little camp out last weekend at my friend's country house and it was the best time ever. Fought with the beavers that are building a damn on his property, went swimming twice, made an awesome fire... We invited a couple people we had only met once before, and the best part is that they showed up! I feel like we've made awesome new friends. I've been crushing my to-do list the past couple days. It feels so good I keep adding new stuff to it. Ended up on the board that will be organizing a party in the next couple months and we're looking for a venue. Going to visit one today, hoping it's the one :) I've never organized a big party like that before so contributing in such a massive way as to finding "THE" venue would be the best! Edit: the venue checks all the marks we've discussed on the first meeting. I'll be seing some of the organizers at a potluck tonight and I can't wait to tell them. Hopefully they like it as much as I did :)
I'm really indecisive when it comes to housing. I've been in my condo for twelve years. It's fine. It isn't great, it isn't bad, it's just fine. I don't want to retire here. I also don't want to buy an expensive house that saddles me with a miserable experience. I end up browsing real estate websites looking at sort of cheap houses in nice neighborhoods. There's one built in 1930 that fits the bill. It's two bedroom, one bath, with an asking price of $250k. It sold for $165k in 2012, but I think the current owner did some improvements. Current pictures and older Google Street View show skylights were added. While I'm annoyed it's 50% more in six years, it might still be worth it. 1930 makes me a bit cautious, but I might just be making excuses to accept status quo. I sometimes think I'd like to live out of town, but I'm not sure that's practical for someone single with no kids only because of the risk of future medical issues. What if I can't drive myself to a checkup? Or if I can't plow or even walk up my own driveway? I drove past a beautiful lot for sale. Wooded and hilly, and at my current age no problem. If I was 70? Maybe a problem. I go round and round on this.
Keep your powder dry. Have a friend. Lofting his ceiling. A reasonable estimate is $20k. First estimate he got was $80k. Second estimate was $147k. The contractors don't want the work. They're quoting fuck-you prices. It's the froth of 2007. Watched a house. Couple of houses, actually. Somebody gutted one down to the studs and tried to sell the pair of them. Sat on the market at $950k all through 2016, 2017. March 2018 they were bought by a throw'n'go real estate vulture out of Florida for $950k. Yesterday he listed 'em again, using the same photos from 2016, for $1.7m. Yeah, he wants to double his money for sitting on an unrebuildable house for six months. It's the froth of 2007. Watching some other houses. Several of them sold in the $600-800k range in 2013, 2014. All of 'em listed for over $1.1m. Last year, they all sold within 2 months. March, they all sold within 4 months. Now, they're sitting there unsold. Those that do sell are losing $100k between ask and bid. It's the froth of 2007. I founded /r/realestate. I pay a lot of attention to this stuff. And the bodies are about starting to hit the floor. I went to an open house six months ago where the owner-flippers didn't even bother to clear the boxes of unlaid tile out of the basement. The stampede has started. Your choices will be greatly changed within 12-18 months. Your environment will be greatly changed within 40 years. That lovely farmhouse on the outskirts of town may end up surrounded by condos. When my wife's parents bought their house in 1978 the road had just been paved a few years earlier. When they'd been there 5 years, the county came through and cut in sidewalks. When they'd been there ten years, the county built a high school across the street. Two years ago the county knocked over the high school and built a bus barn for all the school buses and five years from now there will be an elevated light rail station going 40 miles to the damn airport.
That makes a lot of sense. I'm in a position where I can wait, and I worry I'm waiting just because it's easier. Some houses here sell in a week, or they were in May. This one has been up for six weeks. It does make me think either the market is shifting or this house is overpriced.
1930 just means it was built out of quality materials and strong wood, rather than the compressed garbage they build houses out of today. "Good bones", is what they call it. A strong foundation and structure that can be eternally re-designed inside to fit whatever the current homeowner wants it to be. I think we live in the same part of the world(?), so that 50% increase is not the house. It's the dirt it is built on, being in close proximity to Microsoft, Google, Amazon, Adobe, Disney, Starbucks, Boeing, etc. If you can put a significant down payment on it, and get reasonable terms (shouldn't be hard), then you can start building equity quickly, rather than enriching your landlord's portfolio, and effectively pissing money away. Side benefit: You get to buy tools and make holes in walls and floors and paint things, and NOBODY gets to tell you that you are doing it wrong! (And, the more holes you make, the better you get at it, and the more you want to do it, to make your house YOURS.) Home ownership can be pretty dang gratifying.
I own my condo, so I'm not paying a landlord. Which is awesome. But I'm also not paying off a mortgage on a house. That makes me antsy. You're probably right about the stoutness and also about the dirt. This is in a suburb with very high rated schools. Despite not having kids, that's a draw for me. I'd like to have neighbors that value education.
When I decide to sell my condo, I'm prepared to lose 20% to foster a fast sale. At that point it's loses/months I've lived there, and that calculation is much less than rent would have been. I think condos can sell quickly, too, just based on price. Single and young, divorced parents, and retired people can live there more easily. There can be a lot of competition, though, since it's hard to stand out on anything other than price. Distance to things might bother me. I like solitude six and a half days a week, but the other half day I like being five to fifteen minutes away from a wide variety of activities. And three days a week, I like that it's a short drive out of my way to work to two different coffee shops.
Tonight I feel content. Unphased. Its a rare feeling, as I'm an anxious, high strung type. I clench when my wife so much as gasps, preparing myself for - whatever. Usually it's nothing worthy of my reaction. But I'm at peace, and I wish I could always be this way. Stoic, not reactionary but calmly but sternly correcting my toddler when necessary, not putting thought or fear or anger or stress into it but naturally. The moment feels right, im in the right place I need to be and i can handle anything that comes my way. But yet I can feel its a fleeting, highly fragile state. Every few months I feel this way, usually after a few beers, on a calm but not necessarily quiet rainy or chilly night. Today completely sober, after a week straight of rain. Its like the emotional equivalent of a "flow" state. Anyone know what im talking about? I only wish to name it and research so I might experience it more often.
I meditate regularly with this app called Headspace, and in its lessons they describe two concepts that seem to be what you're describing. One is this idea of the 'blue sky', which is a metaphor for the blank canvas that your mind can always be: The second is what they call 'quiet confidence', which is the kind of confidence that does not stem from experience or ego but from this blue-sky like inner peace that's hard to describe.
Last week I failed a work related school. It's been hitting me pretty hard recently. My boss was super excited to send me, and talked it up quite a bit to his boss. I've hurt my reputation and even worse, his. Failing fucking sucks. I'll trying my best to refocus and drive on but it's been rough going having to retell the story to every single damn coworker I run into. On the bright side I'm back in Germany and will be able to go to Volksfest. Drowning my sorrows in beer is healthy, right?
i am: very tired very busy still in college having surprising amounts of fun i have: met lots of new studenty people and established a circle of friends (what the fuck!?) bought a half gallon of coffee toffee ice cream that i still haven't finished yet (and there's a half gallon of chocolate i haven't touched) got caught in the rain and had to dry my socks on a desk during a phonetics class met another person that seems really cool so far, but no date yet because he had to go in to a surprise late shift (but maybe sometime on the weekend...?) tits went to an NSA shilling meeting today! where they were shilling for languagey people to come and help them spy on arabs/russians/koreans/other enemies (obliquely), so maybe i'll learn to "serve my country" like the desk jockey giving the presentation does too gotten a mild concussion, gotten lice, and gotten folliculitis (all separate events, not all at once) i will: meet with my advisor to figure out adding in another language in addition to japanese, course-wise (probably arabic) continue balling ayyy Thoughts Wow - I feel like a real person, with all the doing things and stuff. Crazy, eh? That's how I still feel about it - the feeling isn't getting old. It makes me so happy to have repetitive good things instead of bad ones. I can't remember whether I had a point other than bragging about my amazing life... oh well ahaha here's my new hubs(k)etup
Yesterday somebody at work called me an "old soul" for remembering Kriss Kross. I don't know if that says more about me or about my workmates.
I remember Kriss Kross. They wore their clothes backwards, I think?
That was pretty much the gist of my contribution to the original conversation. Apparently we're old souls.
You’re an old soul, for sure, but you’re also the Mac Daddy.
There's still like ten good years of jumping left in these knees.
Bank those stem cells and I’ll stretch that to 20!