In life; as literally or metaphorically as you feel like writing.
It's good to check in with each other and see how we're doing, every once in a while. Just make sure you don't dox yourself or anything.
Just opened the coffee shop, old sweet Bill is my only customer a the moment. Getting ready for Christmas in general. Wondering how I'll pay for buying my kid a set of transparent locks and picks for Christmas. In an exploratory phase of a new business idea. Thinking about selling the shop and converting a movable houseboat into a coffee shop. It might be something that could take off in this goofy town. So many things I don't know about boats and the regulatory tape that would be involved. I fixed some broken electronics on my espresso machine. This always makes me happy. Most shops dump a lot of money into their machines every year. So far I've gotten by spending less than twenty bucks on parts every so often and doing the repairs myself. The bit I had to fix cost $14 from the espresso supply store but looking around I found an almost perfect substitute for $2.50 with free two day amazon shipping. Self sufficiency makes me happy.
I would definitely look long and hard at the 'movable' part of this equation. I have only a little more experience with houseboats than you do and my understanding is they're 'movable' the way a 'mobile home' is movable. I would also counsel you to speak to a number of boat owners about maintenance and upkeep because most boat guys are not precious with their gear and any object that spends its life at the boundary between air and water consumes more maintenance than the average Gaggia. Other than that fuck yeah sounds like an awesome idea. http://www.wow247.co.uk/2016/06/01/edinburghs-new-floating-coffee-shop-the-counter/converting a movable houseboat
I wish you the best of luck with the coffee shop! Taking risks and starting ventures is something I've always wished I had the guts to follow through with. Self sufficiency is an elegant way to live. More and more, I see people subscribe to the idea of "if it's broke, then replace it". I think it's because we increasingly value our time, but sadly see slowing down and learning to fix things as a waste of time.
This is probably the most odd I ever felt during christmas. I am, mentally and emotionally, in a different place than I usually am during this time of the year. I am visiting my family in Israel over the holidays. I was looking forward to this break for a long time but I seem to get less rest and more baggage to deal with. After all what happened this year, the pregnancy (and abortion), the breakup, starting therapy, the next heartbreak... I feel more lonely and vulnerable than I ever did, constantly on watch for a partner to go through this with, fully knowing that no band-aid will heal my wound. Knowing that I need to be fully content with myself, and not be reliant on someone else. It is hard though and I have no clue how I can stop myself from going into that cycle of thoughts. I have about 10 months to finish my experiments for my thesis and then another 3-4 to write and hand it in. It feels weird that in about 1.5 years, my PhD will be over and my 12 years of being a student, officially over. What comes next? I wanted to travel a bit. Visit Japan, Argentina, and maybe get to Burning Man. That reminds me, what are your "must do" things in the states? I love climbing, hicking, and good dance parties. With all honesty, I am going to meet the girl I fell for a few months ago tomorrow morning and my brain is freaking out. I am scared of the feelings. Scared of the next reminder that, this relationship too, has no future and I will be trucking alone again.
On my couch, recovering from a mild hangover. Went to hang out with a new friend that's also a neighbour yesterday. He's going through a bit of a tough time right now, but I think he'll be ok. I've come to the conclusion that I really really like him. And that it feels really good to have friends I feel that way about :) Some of my good friends moved away this year, and I miss them a lot.
Drinking coffee on a free table next to my six-year-old who wanted spaghetti for breakfast. I need to put up the 4th of four cameras to discourage the neighbor-kid from fucking with my shit and make some toffee because a friend is having a game night over at her house (her kids are named Ripley and Bishop; Ripley is a frenemy of my daughter and there's nothing quite like watching a hive of Mean Girls work out their alliances at the ages of 5-7). My wife is off delivering a baby; this means there are only five more overhanging Christmas but at least the in-laws are in town this year (rather than being in Illinois) so the festivities don't grind to a halt when the babies come. I return to Los Angeles in ten days. This displeases me. At the same time I live a life where I am so grossly overpaid for highly-technical work that I can go "eh" when they reject my unemployment, in no small part because there remain five women overhanging Christmas. And I can drop $500 on cameras to keep the neighbor kid away from my daughter because it's hella cheaper than moving and I expect a buyer's market in another eighteen months. I found myself blasting David Starfire and watching the markets crash yesterday. Baron Rothschild probably never said "the time to buy is when there's blood in the streets" because it's exactly the sort of thing WASP capitalists want those evil Jews to say but there is a delightful schadenfreude in watching every Captain of Industry go from gung-ho junk bond baron to pussilanimous panicky bed-wetter in an 8% drop. Nick Murray defined a bear market as "a period where stocks are returned to their rightful owners" and I cannot wait for those fucking eTrade commercials to be ironic again.
Sounds a bit hectic, but overall satisfying. I won't put words in your mouth about that though. I'm glad you're able to live comfortably! That's where I'd like to be in the future. Also, the schaudenfreude of the market crashing is underrated. Your description beats whatever I'd have to say on the matter, but I was also taking out some time just to watch.
I'll start. It's 4 AM. I'm home from College right now (passionately studying for Computer Science). I wake up in 6 hours for some pre-christmas celebrations with my family. I'm excited, but I already know I'll be tired. Staying up late is a mistake I enjoy making too much. I have a general idea of where I'm at. I'm in a happy relationship (that I want to write about, but I'll save the time for those not interested). I love programming, making games, and working with computers, even if a lot of others' projects intimidate me. I have a large strain of existential dread, but I'm able to be happy and get lost in the day-to-day despite. I have this general gut feeling of needing guidance. I've been meaning to go to a counselor just to sort my mind out, but I doubt I'd find a good one. I never did back when I was searching. I do have a diary/journal that I keep online, just in case I ever want to share it. Nothing personal or specific, just monologues and poetry mostly. And fittingly, right now I hope this thread takes off. I want nothing more than to hear others and be heard.
I am in Ann Arbor, MI. USA. It’s christmas Eve. I just out out all of Santa’s presents. Milk and cookies out. Pretty excited to see my kids reactions and spend the day with them. Metaphorically, I’m not in as good of a spot as I am literally. So I’ll focus on the literal :)
It's Christmas Eve here in Gangnam district, Seoul, South Korea. I'm in an AirBnb with a friend I met on exchange. She's never seen a lot of Christmas movies I think are crucial for understanding Western Christmas, so we're about to watch It's A Wonderful Life. We're spending the holidays together before I start a three week backpacking trip in Thailand and Bali. I think I was bit by the bug: I already have plans for a Eurotrip next summer with folx I met studying abroad. It's surreal that the semester is over. In the latter half of the program I met a wild group that complemented a large part of my personality--the outgoing, raucous half. That half is very pleased. The other half is looking forward to a normal schedule--it's a rare night out that we go to bed before 6am, and more than a few times we're out past 10am. I'm excited for old people bed time. Though I will miss Korea. And at the risk of sounding like every kid who's ever spent a semester abroad, I utterly recommend it. I have one more semester of college. Then a not inordinate amount of school loans kick in. Still figuring out what the next stage of life should be.
I really look forward to spending a semester at somewhere like Denmark or Sweden. I'm hopeful for it; I want to travel, but I come from a family that dislikes it. I'm glad to hear you've had such a unique time with it. Late nights are fun, but I always end up missing a regular sleep schedule. I wish you the best; have a merry Christmas.
Uncertainty. And thankful. I'm 25 years old, single, employed, with a college degree and living with my mom and brother. - I don't know precisely on what I want to work on, on what problems to solve. I have a deep confidence that I can learn and focus on something and become good at it if I really dedicate my time and effort there. My lack of decision-making relating to that big decision, and others, paralizes me in some way. I'm particularly interested in crypto (public blockchains), mobility (self driving cars, mobility as a service, electrification), travel (adventure, photos, movies / still have to do my tripreport from Canada x Alaska, and will be able to as soon as I get my computer fixed) or starting my own company* in something I believe in (e.g. I think I have a great idea but no technical knowledge and with the competition I would need to raise millions to be able to execute. The idea is 'Carpooling on demand' and it improves current solutions on multiple levels (I'm thinking about Uber for the on-demand part and Blablacar for the carpooling part). It would cost way less per trip than Uber, it would be a way more 'instant' and 'direct' experience than Blablacar. Less congestion and pollution because you don't add any cars compared to Uber. It scales with mobility as a service solution and self-driving cars beautifully. I think it would be hard to penetrate the US Market but I'm confident it would work quite well in France. The end-of-state scenario would be: xx.xx$/months. Unlimited Car Pooling, Worldwide. Price could vary if you want to add options about being able to use public transport, scooters, and other mobility solutions). - I don't know where I want to live ; - I don't know if I want to be a dad one day or if I want a life full of adventure and travel ; - I don't know how to make these decisions because I feel like the 'me' in three years from now might have a different opinion on what I should have done. - I'm thankful that these are the questions I'm wondering about. That I have choices. For those of you who went through this and others who have an opinion about it: how did you chose between your options, and why? What questions did you ask yourself at the time?
I'm not sure how much I could contribute (still in University), but speaking from my own experiences with semi-realistic goals and hobbies, I'd encourage you to start planning it out as a small business, just to see how feasable it is. So you'd need a database for the drivers, a way to test and then add new drivers (since it's starting out, you could do it by hand), a database for the users, a user-side and driver-side app (this would be the expensive part. If you're ever bored, try learning how to make an app (I say as a Computer nerd), but honestly this would be the toughest part of the startup). Etc etc. At least putting it on paper might help organize it in your mind and assess if/when it's viable. Back to the general questions. If it helps, you in 3 years will definitely have a different opinion on what you should've done. That's inevitable, and that's okay. What really matters is figuring out clear goals now, so that finding what you should work on becomes much easier. Live a life full of adventure/travel (if you want to) and worry about being a parent when you get there. Working backwards, being a healthy father would originate from a loving relationship, and the key to that is living a satisfying and fulfilling internal life. Love yourself, and respect/pay attention to others, and that bit will work itself out, I believe.
@On the startup idea: me not engaging fully with this says to me that I’m not ready yet for the sacrifices that launching a company entails. As soon as I get my computer back I will probably write a business plan and see where I can go from here, and try to learn how to code to try basic features just to get an idea and some knowledge about the technical part. I will try to do the free courses on Lambda School during the first semester of 2019. While I’m confident that the idea has merit, I also deeply believe that there are way too many competitors with deep pockets right now in the mobility-space and that my solution would provide a small improvement, but not an 10x one that would be necessary to gain adoption. Will have clearer ideas about all that when I put it down. I also believe right now is not a good time to launch a company that needs huge amount of VC money to reach scale, because as the markets are turning red, the VC money is usually the first one to dry up as it’s high risk. But going through this whole process, of identifying what are the steps needed might definitely help me to be readier 5, 10 years from now to launch something I believe in. @On clear goals: yep. That’s where I have a hard time making sacrifices to define one goal instead of another one. Will take the holiday season as I have a few days off to think about all this. @On love: you are right on this one, I shouldn’t overthink about it right now.
Not so much sharing all that much myself, but commenting on how crazy it is that there is so much similarity between these posts, and what I feel. Uncertainty and indecision seemed to be the byline of more than half of these posts. I feel that. But also there is a sense of listlessness and dissatisfaction I feel like pervades a lot of these posts. I see that I all of my friends IRL too, and most of all in myself. I have friends and see people that for the most part went to school and got a job in exactly what they wanted in a respectable profession and are doing great. Another friend went to college and took a practical job that they can tolerate but make great money and work straight 9-5 hours. And I turned away from either of those to embrace my passion towards art and went to school for that and chose my passion as my career. Yet all of us seem dissatisfied. The grass seems greener wherever we didn't end up. I think I have had a conversation with each of my friends in any position that they want to go back to school and do something else, or they want to pursue their passion, or what they they thought they wanted just isn't what it's cracked up to be, or they want to start up their own business, or they want to quit their business and find a stable job. Everyone seems like to themselves, they made a wrong decision. I see a lot of that in nearly every person I meet regardless of age or status. But I think the truth is that the struggle is real and no matter what you do happiness, in fact not even happiness, but satisfaction and comfort is a truly truly back-breaking soul-crushing pursuit. The goal is becoming indifferent and dumb enough to just enjoy what you have. pls ignore if i am just projecting.
Sitting in front of a one-log fire with a glass of bourbon in San Diego. The new job remains very enjoyable so far. It’s hectic; I’ve gotten a taste of startup hell already but overall we’re in really good shape to get things moving. I’m feeling pretty optimistic about how all this going to go. I could live without the commute to/from downtown LA though.
I'm in a nice red truck with a couple of Christmas presents and I just dropped them off on the doorstep of my parents' house. I will be seeing them for Christmas and I will be home on the eve. I am super excited to start 2019.