You may have guessed from the tone of my title that I am a first born. My siblings are both smart and have their own distinct talents, but there's little doubt that I reign supreme. HA! I hope they read this.
Where do you fall in the birthing order? Is there truth in the claim that we first borns do better?. Read this study it outlines how with subsequent children parents are less likely to discipline and this is why #1 is number one.
My wife and I have been talking about this a lot. We have a second child coming soon and we are determined that he gets as much of us as his big sister did. However, this is essentially impossible.
What say ye?
My brother (first born) has a decent job, a pretty wife, and two awesome kids. But I have a doctorate in physics and make more money than him, so... I guess it's a pick 'em. (Although I did almost fail out of high school, so I was definitely a way worse student.)
No. I was a shitty student from 1st grade on (pretty sure I got on fine in kindergarten). They used to hold me in from recess for refusing to participate in math on occasion. Got thrown into the reading group for slow kids, because I wouldn't talk to anyone or read aloud. Then I got booted from my elementary school in 4th grade for being generally insubordinate. Never really liked school all that much.
Depends. I like being educated about a range of topics, and I think that having a broad knowledge base helps in all sorts of ways. That said, the education system that I was brought up in didn't really do it for me, although a lot of that had to do with me and my attitude at the time. Didn't get along with too many other kids or teachers, and I was perfectly happy letting them know that.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_order#Sexuality: That's odd, I didn't think birth order affected that kind of stuff... As the youngest in the family, I was disappointed with this study so I decided to call myself a "functional first born". I'm not doing worse in life than my sister (I hope).The fraternal birth order effect is the name given to the observation that the more older brothers a man has, the greater the probability is that he will have a homosexual orientation. The fraternal birth order effect is the strongest known predictor of sexual orientation, with each older brother increasing a man's odds of being gay by approximately 33%. Even so, the fraternal birth order effect only accounts for a maximum of one seventh of the prevalence of homosexuality in men. There seems to be no effect on sexual orientation in women, and no effect of the number of older sisters.
I was first born, and until I discovered pot and the world outside the small, conservative town I was raised in that was pretty much the mold. I was singled out as 'gifted' very young, put in all sorts of supplemental programs, teams and such. My brothers have all struggled in some area of academics, while everything except for calculus comes pretty naturally to me. If I had maintained my bias going into college, I would have graduated by now, found someone I could tolerate being around for a few hours, married them, and be working a job I hate for shit pay, taking my pills unto the grave.
Well, due to a combination of health issues, and a near complete mental breakdown from stress, and a few other factors I took a year off from school, had what amounts to a mid life crisis, and now I'm back in school with the understanding that democracy doesn't rule the US, my college degree is an inherently worthless piece of paper in a market over-saturated by worthless pieces of paper, and the knowledge that I must make my own destiny, screw everyone and everything else. Also I may be a secular Buddhist now, still working on that part.
Not to hasten any anger, but you do realize that hatred is merely love spurned and anger comes from desire spurned. Screwing over everyone isn't going to get you any closer to satori. I'm worried you'll throw good effort at bad and thereby compound your state. Yeah, Whitey's a pain in the ass. Nevertheless, the trick is to starve Whitey of power by starving him of your attention.
First off, no anger here, I can appreciate your comment without taking offense. Second, when I said 'screw everyone and everything else' I was (inaccurately) expressing the idea that I can't worry about everyone and everything else or I will go insane. That I must devote time and love to things I care about, and have only compassion for anyone who bugs me. Not love necessarily, not anger either, but compassion, and an empathetic understanding that the person being a jerk had something happen to them that twisted them to be a jerk.
Gotcha. I sympathize. It's why I avoid my home town like the plague: it is home to several people I love, but it's a psychic swamp. Every time I spend longer than two days in the place, my depression paralyzes me.
I think this is interesting as fuck. Growing up my brother definitely reigned supreme among the sibling kingdom, unquestionable. But now he has part of an unfinished vocal major, left school, and is working in a warehouse. Not a dead end, but not where he'd like to be. I don't expect anything from my older sister and my family doesn't either. Just an average kid. Biased about myself, so that's unanswerable. I really expect most out of my little sister. She's young but she's talented in nearly any creative or artistic thing she touches or tries. It's amazing.
You just described my little sister (four kid family, she's the youngest). She's going into theater art / acting, but she's excellent at music and drawing as well. While the rest of us (all guys) are awful at any sort of art. Though, my older bro and I are into programming, which some people say requires creativity.I really expect most out of my little sister. She's young but she's talented in nearly any creative or artistic thing she touches or tries. It's amazing.
I posted this because I was interested on what people might use as the "yardstick" (as _refugee_ puts it) to measure success. It's an incredibly subjective thing, so much so that I find it hard to believe that one can put forth a reliable study. One mans success is another mans burden.But now he has part of an unfinished vocal major, left school, and is working in a warehouse. Not a dead end, but not where he'd like to be.
-Yeah, but I bet he has the prettiest voice in the whole warehouse.
I'm the youngest of five. My oldest sibling is the most successful in life, but that's only because she's had a head start. From my view it's between the oldest, the second youngest and myself who is/will be the most successful. The second and third oldest have no interest in continuing their education. The former is working in a deli and the latter (possibly) growing weed in California. My oldest sister and I seem to be the only ones who are ambitious and really interested in education.
"It's a fact" makes it sound like there were stone tablets involved. Even though I am an only child (hence first-born out of one) and I would have an advantage according to this fact-esque assertion, I think it's a cop-out. The presumptions are that discipline from parents is the only path to self-discipline, and that discipline can only arise in youth. My own experience suggests that discipline and rigor are muscles: they need to be trained and exercised just as they need to be relaxed and allowed to heal. If this weren't the case, why would the armed forces spend so much effort on training that centers on discipline? While recruits may lack that rigor coming into camp, they do not lose it upon leaving training.
I'm the youngest, and will be the first person in my blood family to get a Master's degree. My sister, the oldest, is finally getting a nursing degree after years of bouncing around in things like Canadian Red Cross and Home Care. She has become pretty successful, but She spent much of her teens and 20s in in a spot where I pretty much figured that she was going to work at a convenience store the rest of her life (not that there is anything wrong with that, but it was due to lack of ambition, not passion for retail). My Brother is the smartest of the three of us, and the middle child. He'll be successful at whatever he does. He's going through a big life change at the moment (medically released from the military which will take like, 1-2 years to finalize), but He's got the smarts and the credentials and the built up life advantages to be a successful dude. I've done the best in school, my brother's done the best in life, and my sister's doing good now. I don't find this ringing true, but it's interesting.
I'm the 4th of 5 and arguably one of the more successful. My first child is a total disaster. He is 13 and I just spent the last hour getting him off to school, his face streaming with tears, throwing tantrums like a 2 year old. He's gotten better this year, but for the last several years he has been a terrible student. I guess there's an exception to every rule of thumb.
I'm a middle child of three. My older sister at first was a way better child than I was. However, after dropping out of college twice, now living at home not able to find a job that pays enough to move out, and not having any passion that I know of whatsoever, I'd say that I'm doing significantly better than her. Not that I don't have my own faults, but my parents were a little too on top of my sister, which caused her to become insecure with her own person, and after a hard break up with a boyfriend of 3 years to develop a series of psychological and eating disorders, which she refuses to see a therapist about. My little sister has the potential to be better than me, it's not that hard. Be good instead of lucky is all there is to it really. But I guess we will see. The evidence shown thus far is nowhere near conclusive(in terms of my own family).
Hard to tell at this point. I'm the oldest of four boys, and I'm about to graduate college. We all have our ambitions and do fairly well academically. So far it looks like everything is even, but time will tell who is more successful. I hope we're all successful in our own way.
I'm a middle child. Second born out of four. I've noticed something interesting. Growing up, I was the most disciplined/strict. While my older and younger siblings were mostly let off the hook. They weren't expected to have the best grades, but for me, anything under an A was unacceptable. I was also the one who took self-teaching to a whole new level. And even now, I find myself being the only one (out of the four) that looks up things and teaches myself. I continue to look into new topics. On the flip side, I've found that while I had more discipline and strict schedules, as I grew older (started in middle school and progressed since) I've become more lazy and "pleasure" focused. Put off homework and assignments, don't really focus on producing anything. I just sit around and devour information I find on the net. My siblings are similar now, but not as much as I. My parents are now focusing on disciplining the younger kids (me and my older bro are out at uni and living on our own now). And what used to fly when the younger kids were younger, doesn't any more. They still have the same lazy approach when it comes to self teaching (they don't, and rely on older people to help them). And I've noticed a clear divide. The older, yet self-teaching, kids, and the younger force-fed kids. As for my older brother, he seems to be getting along just fine. He's gotten work at several places, got an internship, etc. I haven't been as proactive in work, but have been getting better grades (he failed a class and now has to take an extra one to make it up). I've recently been trying to take matters into my own hands and become more disciplined and strict. Though I've failed many times at this. So what's that mean? Probably that my parents are more attentive/focused on praising the younger child while disciplining the one that came before. But overall it's interesting since I taught myself most of the stuff I know, yet my younger siblings do not have that same drive to learn (instead opting to chat with friends or play garry's mod). Edit: I should note that I've outpaced my older brother in education. I was on track to graduate before him, but he's managed to find a way to graduate at the same time (even though he's a bit late). I'm two years younger, yet at the same education level (caught up in highschool/community college).
Well then I'm an exception to the rule. I'm a middle child, or as I like to say when asked "the middlest." (Because people get to be 'the' oldest and 'the' youngest. So I'm 'the' middlest.) I have an older brother and a (much) younger sister. I think that generally my parents were about equally stringent on my brother and me when they were raising us; there's less than 2 years between us so that probably helped. Typically I feel like with these sorts of questions the judgment of whether someone is "doing better" depends on the yardstick, but I'd say that from a traditional point of view I've outpaced my brother in success almost across the board: Me: - earned grad degree in 4 years - found full-time corporate employment before obtaining degree - have stayed in field and almost doubled income in 3 years - live with roommate, support self - have generally obtained all the normative trappings of adulthood in American society (I think?) My brother (who, by the way, I love dearly): - currently is in his 8th year of college* - has been permanently expelled from the institution where he began his college career - has a criminal record which is extensive enough so as to potentially prevent him from getting certain jobs - does not own a car and does not have his license - has bounced around between jobs as a waiter, coffeshop person, and now, works retail for $10/hour In high school he had a 2.2 GPA on graduation, I had a 3.0 I'm trying to think if there's anything else. I don't know. His life is his life. I don't view him as a failure. I just view his life as different. He's still working on figuring out what he wants. * Not consecutively, etc, there were some kerfufflesWe provide robust empirical evidence that school performance of children in the NLSY-C declines with birth order as does the stringency of their parents' disciplinary restrictions.
Haha, I'm a mix between you and your brother (also a middle child here, 2/4). I'm getting my uni degree 2 years early. Haven't found employment (except one job as a community college tutor). Don't have a car or license (my mom hounds on me about this). 4.0+ GPA in high school, but drastically dropped down to a 3.0 in university. While my bro is more like the exact opposite. He's getting his degree a half a year late, found employment at several places, has a car/license, lower than a 4.0gpa in high school. Still low gpa (~2.7) in uni.
Yea, my reason for not driving comes from a couple things. First is not having a car. My bro has his own that he won't let me use. And my parents for a long time didn't want me driving their vans. The second reason is due to busyness as well as a slight phobia of driving. But I've started along the path, hating every second :P.
Man, I can't even fathom that. When I was a kid, I wanted nothing more than a driver's licence. To me, the ability to control where I was going on my own terms was a proxy for freedom, something I think many kids lack to a great extent. For my 16th birthday, my father split the cost of a 1983 RX-7 with me ($900 in 1998!), which was the happiest day of my life to date. The down side of having a sports car at age 16 is that it took me less than three weeks to total it.