Hi hubski, I could use some help, if you’ve got some to give. Long time lurker; first time poster. Pardon the length, the first three paragraphs are information, the last is my problem, if you want to skip to that.
Background: I graduated college, and I find myself in that place so many others have. I don’t know what to do next. Please don’t tell me to do what I love, or what makes me happy. I don’t know. I can’t answer that. I’ve never had heroes, I’ve never had a plan. And only now, this is a problem.
The Past: I studied in art history and telecommunications. I did an internship with a non-profit working social media. I did office work for an attorney. I wrote some poetry. I liked researching in school. I like to learn, I like to talk. Here’s what I’ve got going for me: computer skills, excel, word, after effects, photoshop, social media, html, css, writing background, photography, online moderation, and the certainty that I can learn anything if I try.
Right Now: And now here I am. I’ve been stuck for almost a year now, beating myself up for not doing more in college, not making more influential friends, not joining more clubs, not being more. I let that self-doubt debilitate me for months. It stopped me from volunteering, from branching out, from being on my own. My parents took me in, so I have a place to live, food to eat, and a ticking clock. Judge me as you will. But now, finally, I think I’m ready to move on.
The Problem: I have about five thousand dollars saved. I’m expecting about two thousand more from my grandfather’s inheritance. I could buy a car, I could travel, I could live in the woods for a couple months, I could host a really big party. But I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to die in the empty cornfields of the Midwest with little to be proud of. I could work, but I don’t know what to apply for. I would move anywhere to find something good. I think I need a cause. Could someone find me a cause? Something to work for. If somewhere paid my room and board and made me feel like I mattered, I can’t think of anything better. Help me? Give me suggestions; tell me I’ll be ok.
You're going to be okay. Here's your fundamental problem: your world is structureless for the first time since you were four and you don't know what to do. 'sokay. You'll get over that. Here's the wrong approach: This is an internal visionquest, friend, and external influences are only going to postpone the inevitable. You need to find what you want to do with your life. Sure, ask for help but know that the buck stops under your hat and there's nothing you can do about it. My suggestion? Get a job, any job, such that you are earning money and being responsible. Note that I say "job" not "career" because the goal here is to buy time and headroom not fulfill your destiny. Maybe a job with travel. Maybe a job helping people. blackbootz did Americorps, if I'm not mistaken, and that seems to have been pretty awesome for him. My own parents did three tours in the Peace Corps. The point is to be remunerated for interacting with other people so that you can see the world without feeling beholden to your parents. Independence is a hell of a drug. Don't touch the money.Could someone find me a cause? Something to work for.
See my comment, I put a spin on it, but I'd be fine endorsing your absolutism.Don't touch the money.
Bravo.
I was kinda the same way when I graduated. I went into Computer Science because everyone said I was good with computers, and I didn't really know what else to do. My plan was to go into IT or Networking. Programming was ok, but I didn't love it. But I took an internship at a software company. Now I love programming. I could write a whole post on why I love programming. My point is, it's okay to still not know your passion after graduating. To echo kleinbl00, no one else can solve your problem. Get a job, something that provides independence. Something that uses your skills, not just sweeping floors. Even if it's not your ideal skill, using any skill will help you figure out what you do want to do. Mind-numbing work won't. Also, my first year out of college was really exhausting working full time. I'd get home from work and do nothing productive; TV or video games. It's ok if full-time work takes some getting used to. But not more than a year. At some point, you have to find the energy to find fulfillment after work. But not right away. Again, find any job that uses your skills. Start looking in papers and online. Apply for anything that you meet 70% of the required skills. Seriously, you don't have to meet everything. If you have the majority, apply anyway. There's a really good chance you're still better qualified or have the most desirable skills.I don’t know what to do next. Please don’t tell me to do what I love, or what makes me happy. I don’t know. I can’t answer that. I’ve never had heroes, I’ve never had a plan.
Could someone find me a cause?
Could someone find me a cause? Something to work for. If somewhere paid my room and board and made me feel like I mattered, I can’t think of anything better.
This is a very good point. Believe it or not, employers (in my experience) are more interested in hiring someone with demonstrated competence, energy and an ability to stretch to the requirements than someone who meets the requirements only. Apply for jobs you think you can do, not jobs you know you can do. Hell, apply to firms that don't have job openings. You might be surprised.Apply for anything that you meet 70% of the required skills.
Hard to say. It's one of those things I just woke up and realized one day, you know? Again, I could tell you what about it I like, but that's a rather long list (and probably mostly obvious). I have some of that, but less than most, I think. I don't recommend it. You'll miss out.I normally instinctively resist liking something when it's forced on me.
Really, the trick is to do stuff. I've been beating myself up for not realizing this simple truth sooner. It doesn't matter much what exactly you do, because what helps most is momentum. Find a job, any job. Volunteer. Join a secret society. Leave traveling. Start doing. The more you stay active, the more opportunities will come your way. And nothing's stoping you from quitting whatever you do to pursue some other thing. As long as you don't revert to doing nothing, you'll zigzag your way towards something you want to do ;) Stay proactive and keep your eyes open for new opportunities, settling for a job you don't like and "going with the flow" of a shitty routine, is equivalent of doing nothing. Honestly, the Americorps sounds like a great experience. If you really have absolutely no clue what to do, I say sign up. There are worst ways to waste your time figuring out what to do in life than spending a year helping out communities around the states. Take it as a year to figure shit out guilt-free ;)
as KB said in his post:
This bears repeating - over and over and over again. I have many colleagues that need to hear it too. He also said " You're going to be okay". and he's right. justfornow, you gotta realize, too, that you're already doing something with your life - you're living it. Your "life" is not some time off in the not-too-distant future when you will be someone else. This is the trap that we all fall in to over the course of our education - Authority figures talk to use about how things will be different in "the real world" or "real life", our friends talk about what they're going to do when they get out into "the real world" - That we are not yet living our lives, that we are just accomplishing tasks, jumping the hurdles we have to jump before we can be a "real person" with a "real life". Your life is not something you are going to do, nor is it something that, after your find your "purpose", you will go out and get. You are living your life right now. I'm really not attempting to beat you up here. I think you need to question yourself in different ways than you are now. Don't ask "Why didn't I?" Ask "What are my goals?" and "how do I achieve that?" Do more now. The best time to do it was in college. The second best time is now. How does one even do this? Don't beat yourself up for shit you can't control. Join clubs now. Go and DO, my friend. If money is an issue to you, or you feel you need it to get out of your parents house (which seems to be a goal of yours, and possibly of theirs too), then get a job. Any job will do. our generation has been taught otherwise, but you are not defined solely by your occupation. Developing a rich "rest of your life" is critical to self love in my opinion, and that means doing things, not necessarily having things.This is an internal visionquest, friend, and external influences are only going to postpone the inevitable. You need to find what you want to do with your life. Sure, ask for help but know that the buck stops under your hat and there's nothing you can do about it.
Right Now: And now here I am. I’ve been stuck for almost a year now, beating myself up for not doing more in college,
not making more influential friends,
not joining more clubs, not being more.
ButterflyEffect and I were/are in the same situation. It is not easy, but it will get better, with time. As kleinbl00 said, you have no structure. Get a job. That is basically what I did, even though the intention was to do my PhD there. It did not work out, but in those 4 months, I was getting paid and had some time to think about what I want to do. Now I know what I am going to do. Just don't try avoiding the situation. Think about it. You will have your ups and down. Push through them and you will find your way :)
Yep, still there. Despite having a job lined up it's one of those things where you can't know if you're going to like until you start doing it. That and engineering as an entity I'm still not sold on. I'll tell you what though, I would kill for money saved up (have that) and no debt (have a ton of debt from student loans). It might even be worth rolling around for a year or two if money isn't an issue. I've come to terms with not having any idea what my impact on the world will be, and it's a bit liberating. We'll all figure out in time, that much is certain. It might be worth checking out /r/personalfinance and reading through their FAQ/wiki.
I have to say that I vehemently disagree with all the people on here telling you to sit on all your cash. All I did was take risks, have fun, and drive myself into credit card debt whilst in my 20s (well, that and study my ass off in every free minute of my life). Now that I'm in my 30s I have a luxury car, a well appointed house with a nice chunk of land, my dream job, an awesome wife who also has her dream job, and frankly, things couldn't be better. If I would've taken the easy route, which was to stick with my engineering degree and do it the safe way, I would probably have none of these things. I'd be comfortable and miserable, instead of living the dream. I say take as many risks as you can, if the reward seems high enough. Fuck safety.
I'm going to suggest something crazy. Good luck, I'm glad you posted, it's nice to meet you justfornowI have about five thousand dollars saved.
-You likely worked hard for this. Don't waste it frivolously. Save it. Invest it. Roth IRA? I’m expecting about two thousand more from my grandfather’s inheritance.
If your grandfather knew that you would end up just fine, rent is paid, car is purchased, food is in the refrigerator, what do you think he would have wanted you to use that $2k on? What do you think stood out to him as valuable memories from his youth? Make THOSE memories for yourself with that $2k.
Hell stick it in a 1 to 5 year CD! edit: Stick it in a 1-5 year CD with ALLY BANK, this is not because I work for them (I don't) but because they offer a ridiculously great long-term CD rate and you decide a CD is a good choice for you you should get the best freakin' rate. In fact all their deposit products have very good interest rates. Places like BoA's are straight laughable.
It can come from anything you've already paid taxes on. More importantly, with a Roth IRA, the principal can be withdrawn without penalty (but not the interest). Which means you can use it as an emergency fund. Whereas a Traditional IRA has huge penalties for withdrawing anything before you turn 60.
Probably, I have no idea. I've never had money that wasn't income.
You should also check out this thread. Tons of good advice to go along with the advice here https://hubski.com/pub?id=132999
Dude, with $5k in the bank and $2k in accounts receiveable, you're in a substantially better financial position than most recent college grads. I can't give you advice on what to do (others said it better below, and tbh I'm in the same boat as you on this), but I will give you advice on that cash: SIT ON IT. Or invest it. But do not, do not spend in. It's a really really good life policy to have 3-6 months cost of living in assets you can quickly turn to cash if you need to. It's the difference between being one car repair away from missing rent, versus taking it in stride. Keeping a buffer like that removes an existential risk from your life and lets you just not worry about it. This is unimaginably valuable
Be a welder. Great money, good creative outlet, keeps you physically active but isn't back breaking labor, and what you do can't be outsourced to another country. You went to college, so you'll be helping your boss with the paperwork soon. Don't hide the fact that you're smart, but be willing to learn from guys who might not have even graduated high school. A few more years and you can open your own shop.
Work for AmeriCorps. I got a job through them teaching music in rural Oregon right after I graduated. I love it. Oh how I love it. There are a ton of options and they're always looking for members.
As cheesy as this is: 
I have to say I'll be following your journey with interest man, if you choose to share it with hubski. I'm moving out of my childhood home sometime between may and the end of june to go live closer to my new job. Up until now my experience has been limited to dorms and I've never not had a room mate. Apparently independence is a hell of a drug.
My advice isn't much different than everybody else's. Get out and do something new. Get a new job, move somewhere new, try a new activity. You need a little momentum behind you to get your life moving in a positive direction.