Have you ever had a bad public speaking experience? How does your fear of public speaking manifest itself? If you don't have a fear of public speaking, how are you able to do it confidently? What's your process?
Thank you to:
Cadell Last or theadvancedapes lil Clive (cW) and Olive Watson Joanna
and thank you to StJohn for the introduction!
Music: Theme Song -Steven Clausnitzer Spoon: Back to the Life The Beatles: The End Nick Drake: Of The Morning The Great Lakes Myth Society: Stump Speech Pearl Jam: Do the Evolution Queen (with Bowie): Under Pressure Pink Floyd: Comfortably Numb Carly Simon: Anticipation Erik Satie: Gymnopedie 1 bgood79: Working Class Hero -via John Lennon
Mentions: The Advanced Apes Lil's Book of Questions Triplesequitur St John Karp
As always, feedback is much appreciated. I will never use "Vocaroo" to capture audio again, my apologies to Lil and Cadell for how distorted and crackly your content sounds. -My bad.
Enjoy!
Ah, public speaking, how terrifying! I actually think I've come a long way in the past few years and have become a lot more comfortable with it, but I have much further to go yet. Much of my improvement, I think, has come from speaking up in uni classes (which was itself mostly in reaction to the awkward silence that tends to pervade when lecturers ask questions). It forces you to become comfortable with putting out your own opinion, and with having every pair of eyes in the room focused on you. I've been told I'm pretty good at public speaking, whatever that's worth. Last year I took part in a wee debate on human rights and foreign aid for the Irish Forum of Global Health. A lot of people told me I should really take up debating; one guy even told me that I was the highlight of the evening. I think what sells it for me is my sense of humour (wow, I've really been blowing my own horn in this post). You might not believe it based on my fairly dry comments on Hubski, but in person I can actually be pretty funny, I like to think. At the aforementioned debate I opened with a joke about the previous speaker - something about it being bad to prove wrong someone who had actually worked in the field - and that set the tone for the rest of my stint. At one point people actually burst into applause at one of my jokes; I was pretty proud of that one, I won't deny! I still find speaking terrifying, but I find that if I throw out some humour it makes the audience more comfortable and makes me feel more comfortable and confident too. mk makes a very good point with regard to not saying "ums;" I think, in general, that it is a very good idea to slow down when speaking - it makes you look much more confident. Don't be afraid of short silences, either.
Ha ha ha! Please by all means toot your own horn, I love it! I've never thought of you as being dry on Hubski, for what it's worth. I think you make some great points especially regarding humor in public speaking. It's a very effective way to get the audience engaged and on your side. However, humor much like beauty is in the eye of the beholder and can fall flat on it's face at times. I'm glad you had success with it, but I've certainly seen people fail when it comes to humor. And yes, mk does make a good suggestion regarding watching yourself speak. It's important to get rid of the "ums" it does give you more credibility. Have you ever given a speech where you fell flat on your face? Have you ever uncontrollably laughed like Joanna in the podcast? I have never done that, however I did once start laughing as an audience member and couldn't stop it and had to be asked to leave the classroom when I was in sixth grade. Luckily the person giving the speech was a friend of mine and thought it was hilarious. I was certainly more embarrassed than anyone else.
Ah yes, you do have to calibrate your sense of humour according to the audience. I don't have any memories of screwing up particularly badly myself (though perhaps my brain has erased all evidence of the trauma) but I've been at plenty of talks where the speaker's jokes fell completely flat, and it's really awful. I think spontaneity in humour is very important; jokes can be rather unfunny if you can tell that they were prepared beforehand. Spontaneity in general is a good thing, though; there's nothing worse than a speech that sounds too rehearsed - preparation, like all things, requires a great deal of judgement as to where "too much" lies. I've never freaked out too badly, but I did hear about a friend of a friend who started crying during a debate. She actually finished, crying the entire time.
Those awkward silences during the lectures. I know those. Especially fun if you know the answer, but don't dare to speak up. All you hear is that buzz when many people are whispering to each other. Maybe I should help those poor lecturers out and maybe even learn something in the process, just by speaking up...
I'm curious, and I am not trying to be rude or presumptuous, but what drives this desire to be heard? Is there something that is satisfied for you when you speak in front of an audience, that otherwise is lacking? I might not enjoy jumping out of a plane, I would have too much fear and probably would not be able to carry through with it. There are certain people though that are able to transform fear into adrenaline and this adrenaline gives them a sensation that they crave. They willingly jump out of planes. I wonder, is there any of this for you when you speak in front of people? Do you crave the rush that you get from speaking in front of an audience? I know I had a bit of that when I used perform live with the band in front of an audience. There was a bit of conversation that didn't make the podcast around the difference between speaking in front of an audience about something you are emotionally vested in and speaking in front of an audience about something that you are not. For me there is a big difference. How about you?
Words are the thing that I love the very most in life. Not because of how they look or sound, but because they convey meaning. They do the seemingly impossible, taking a thought out of my mind and, if I use the right words in the right way, putting it in someone else's mind. Or, I can take words from someone else to add their thoughts to my mind. I can discover things that I never knew, simply because someone recorded a series of words. I can experience things that ARE impossible, like being on a spaceship or being a mouse, if I view the right series of printed words. Public speaking is the very most fun use of words, because it can cause a group of people to collectively experience the feeling that I want them to experience. We're all having an experience together, an experience that I orchestrated, and everyone feels good after we've had it! Maybe they're going to go home and start a blog. Maybe they're going to go out and knock on a door for a candidate. Maybe they just realized what they were contributing to a problem in their relationship. Maybe it later helps them get a job. Or maybe they forget it entirely, but, for a few minutes, they let a selection of words, spoken in particular tones, accompanied by body language and perhaps visual aids, trigger them to have a collective experience with a room of other human beings having the same experience. That's exciting to me. To me, that's being able to do magic in real life. That's hypnosis and telepathy rolled into one. If I'd been born a man 100 years ago, I'd probably have gone into ministry. I've always loved the concept of collective emotional and intellectual enlightenment, and the thought that perhaps we really are all conscious together, rather than separately. I wasn't raised in any particular religion, so an obsession with the specialness of being a conscious organism is the center of my individual spirituality. Yes, I like receiving attention, but if that was all it was, I'd go into porn, not public speaking.
Well said Saydrah. I too love communicating, very much. I mentioned this in a previous comment, but when I was in high school I wasn't a very good student. I had a teacher take me aside and tell me that I was good at public speaking. This gave me a confidence I had never had. Around the same time I was failing a science class and during a parent teacher conference, I heard the teacher tell my parents not to worry about me because I could convince anyone to do just about anything and as such I'd be successful. -This too stuck with me. I've managed to take my ability to effectively communicate and carve out a pretty nice career. It's something that like you, I really love. I love that going in to a meeting, the people across the table from me have a firmly held position that I am trying to change. I love taking their assumptions and challenging them with thoughtful questions, steering the conversation in a direction of my choosing but making it seem as though it is theirs. I too love that at least some of my words "sink in". When performing music, I feel the "collective experience" that you are mentioning. In the podcast, Olive and Clive Watson mention how there can be a "string between performer and observer" and their is this nourishment from the audience. Clive refers to it as the "heat lamp". -Some of my favorite parts. Glad you choose public speaking and not porn ---though that might make an interesting podcast topic too ;-)
If you're doing a podcast on porn, I want in!
This could be pretty interesting. I'd love to know what other people think of porn. And a podcast is all sound, so no harm done there :P
From a music perspective it would certainly be a lot of fun to make. I'm not sure how many people I could get to participate in the podcast though? Although pornography is something most people have consumed at some point in their life, it's not something a lot of people are willing to talk about openly. I have an idea for one but it would be only tangentially about pornography. It will happen.
Well, I know that I personally would be willing to speak very frankly about my use and problems with pornography.
One of the most valuable things that has happened to me regarding public speaking was watching a talk that I gave. I said 'um' way more than I perceived I did. It was painful to watch. I now do everything in my power not to utter it. Instead, I simply pause. My talks have much improved as a result. If I were to become a politician, I would watch my own speeches whenever possible. IMO another important thing to do is to tell a story. It is so much easier to talk about something when you frame it in the context of a story. I get a bit nervous before a talk, but I've learned to prepare a bit more, and to care a lot less. The audience mostly just wants to relax and learn about something. If you do your best to explain something without boring them, you'll be alright. In a couple of weeks, I am slated to give a talk to the Physics Department of my alma mater. As a student, I used to attend these talks religiously. It will be interesting to be on the other side of the podium, and to present to the faculty that taught me.
Watching your talks, what a great piece of advice mk. Was there anything beyond the "um's" that you noticed while watching it? Did it change how you perceive your mannerisms when talking? I find that I'm more engaged when someone effectively uses hand gestures/body language when speaking. It tends to show me that they're more engaged. I like the idea of communicating ideas through stories. When making presentations, I will often try to use stories or metaphor to communicate a complex idea, to make something that seemed undesirable seem attainable and attractive. This has taken years to get good at. I will also try to challenge assumptions, nothing gets your audience captivated like being challenged. Good luck with your talk, it sounds like a cool moment in your professional development. The student has become the master! Try not to laugh uncontrollably ;-)
Hmm, public speaking. At it's worst when you know that most of the people who are listening aren't interested. Like when you give a presentation about a project you have done, but the audience has done the same project and also has to give a presentation. They just don't give a damn about what you have to say. Those are the worst. For smaller groups speaking isn't all that bad. Just make sure you prepare. But there is good advice in this podcast. Prepare for your talk is indeed important and if not giving the talk, be a good audience member. The advice to examine your fears is spot on, and not just for speaking.
I was glad that Olive brought up how important it is to be a good audience member. It really is important to the person up on that stage. lil's point, to face your fears is also great advice and I agree with you that it's fantastic advice for life in general. Life's too short to be afraid. Paddle in to the waves, or your canoe will tip! Thanks for listening speeding_snail.
You do a fantastic job producing this. The songs work so well with each section.
Thanks, I really enjoy mixing the interviews and incorporating music either around the theme or songs that create a mood. It's a ton of fun and is becoming my "zen" activity. I bet you can relate with how much fun it is to come up with topics too. Changes how I view my day to day interactions etc. I hope you feel well represented, I really enjoyed what you brought to the podcast. Thanks again.
I don't care for speaking in public, but I don't feel unconfident when I do it, since I usually prepare like hell and know my presentation inside and out. If I don't, that's when I sweat. I still get nervous each time, but when I'm prepared I know the nerves are just temporary till I jump in. At the end of the day though, I don't feel at home with all eyes on me. Never a pleasurable experience in and of itself.
I used to pride myself on being able to "improvise" speeches, even for important occasions. Because of this though, I got lazy and stopped preparing at all and had a couple of flops. Since the "flops", I've begun preparing more stridently. But I still can't shake the nerves that the "flops" gave me. I never had nervousness but now I do. It's not a lot, but just enough to give me a sinking feeling in my gut. The flops linger. I think the people that "feel comfortable with all eyes on them" are a rare breed. Perhaps these are the people that have bucked the evolutionary "group norms"?
Like you, Clive, Olive and Joanna all said that the most important thing to do is to prepare, prepare, prepare. I didn't feature that in the podcast, I should have. Another thing that everyone mentioned was how important the connection to the audience is. That is something that is more subjective though and not as easily "practiced".You bit the apple though and you can't put the genie back in the bottle
-Too true. That said, I think in the long run I am better off with my new manageable fear. It forces me to be more prepared and as such I am now a better public speaker imo.
I always prepare in the sense that I know the material that I want to present like the back of my hand. But I never practice. People who actively practice come off sounding like robots, and I think it makes it worse when they forget what they want to say. Its better to have a general idea of the direction you want to go, and let the slides (if you're giving that type of presentation) prompt you. I think it comes off as far more engaging, natural and fluid.
People who actively practice come off sounding like robots
-Good point. There is such a thing as being too scripted or overly prepared. Everyone is different in this regard. For me, the best way to go is to know my details but just use topical bullet points. No script, just a road map.
I used to wing it a lot more, and went through a similar experience with some flops. IMO that's a key part of becoming better and better at something: admitting that you always could benefit from more work at it. Talent is a great place to start, but it's not how you get better. I doubt I could ever lose the jitters. Look at Romney and Obama, you could tell that even they were each a bit tense at the beginning of the first debate, and they have given hundreds, if not thousands, of speeches.
First time on Hubski and my interest in music is primarily the avant garde and improvise free music or whatever it's call...
Welcome to Hubski! I look forward to checking out some of your music posts. Cheers!
mk is there a way to make the "soundcloud" posts playable on mobile?